It’s nearly a daily occurrence for me to throw up a half-hearted-mid-chew prayer to God as I eagerly dive into a bowl of Reese’s Puffs.

It’s more than a rushed supplication. It’s an indicator of a deeper issue.

I’m impatient. I’m too impatient to take a half a minute to thank God for his provision. I’m too impatient to consistently and continually seek God in prayer. I’m too impatient to ignore a phone call or text or tweet, so instead I choose to interrupt a conversation with a real, live human being that I’m talking to face-to-face. I’m too impatient to sit down for 20 minutes and write a single blog post in one sitting (this line is being added in during round three). And I’m certainly far too impatient to deal with customer service over the phone.

Image provided by stock.xchng

It’s hard to be patient (mostly because of the whole waiting thing).

As a result of a constantly connected world, I’m in the habit of constantly disconnecting from God. It’s rare for me to make it much longer than a few moments in the awareness of God’s presence.

I’m impatient because I think the next item will satisfy me more than my current situation.

I think Reese’s Puffs are more satisfying then a moment thanking the God of the universe for providing for me.
I think a tweet or text or call is more satisfying than genuine human connection.
I think something I can buy is more satisfying than Jesus, who has given himself to me freely.

Let’s not let the next moment get in the way of the current one, especially if the current one is with the Lord.

What Would Jesus Do dominated wristbands in the 90s (but it’s hard to give much credit to 90s trends when dressing like the Fresh Prince was cool and wearing backwards pants was totally acceptable).

In reality, the WWJD bands caused people to pause and ponder what Jesus would do in their shoes. It’s a great question for analyzing situations and (hopefully) making good decisions based on how we think the Messiah would respond.

But being like Jesus isn’t just doing what he would do. It’s about thinking how he would think too.

As I think about stewarding my time, resources, and abilities, I’m beginning to ask myself, “How would Jesus do this?”

How would Jesus share the gospel with his family?
How would he make disciples in the 21st century?
How would Jesus spend his time?
How would Christ compel others to live for God if he was giving a lecture today?
How would he respond to an atheist?

As I ask myself, “How would Jesus do this,” and read about his life in the Bible, I’m convinced that he wouldn’t just slop together work or participate half-heartedly in conversations.

He was a student of his disciples and the people he talked with. He did an incredible job of asking heart-level questions that cleared away the clutter, distractions and barriers in conversations. Jesus took his time when others thought he should hurry along (in the case of his friend Lazarus), and he withdrew when others thought he should stick around (like when they tried to make him a politician).

You don’t have an infinite source of divine knowledge like Jesus, and you probably don’t know any lepers to heal, even if you were able. But Christians certainly have the ability to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, turn to God’s Word for direction, and trust the promise of Jesus that we’d do greater works than he did.

All we have to do is seek God’s wisdom as we ask, “How would Jesus do this?”

Isn’t it funny how those who clean houses for a living have dirty homes? Or how repairmen have all kinds of broken things around the house?

It seems backwards, but I’m an offender myself. I’m a missionary who isn’t missional.

Talking with college students about Jesus is my day job, and I’ve recently realized I have a tendency to leave my work on campus. I have a heart to reach Ohio University for Jesus, but I’ve managed to forget my duty to share my faith outside of my vocation.

All of my coworkers are Christians. Most of my friends still in Athens are Christians. I don’t have classes to attend with non-Christians, and I’ve graduated beyond student organizations where many of my friends didn’t know Jesus. I’ve allowed myself to become trapped inside a Christian bubble.

When we first come to know Jesus, we often have only a few Christian friends and many who don’t know the Lord. Then, as we grow in our faith, get plugged into a church and Christian community, our friendship pendulum swings in the opposite direction, and we end up having nearly all Christian friends and only a few friends who don’t follow Christ.

Jesus ate at the table with those who didn’t know God. We’re called to do the same thing. We’re on this earth because God has given us a mission: to go to the ends of the earth to tell people about Jesus.

It’s time for me to start inviting people to my table who don’t know Jesus. I want to live life with them, share my faith with them, and love them right where they are. I want to be missional in my life, not just in my day job. I want to go into the community, meet new people and tell them about how God has transformed my life.

Christians, no matter what your day job is, you’re called to make disciples and be missional. Jesus has given us the words of eternal life. We’ve got to give people and opportunity to respond to them.

If you’re a Christian, will you open up your table? Will you be missional wherever God has you?

I’ve never been in a fight, but from what I understand, the biggest group with the toughest guys normally wins.

Except in the case of Gideon. He is the self-proclaimed weakest person in his family, and he comes from the scrawniest family around. But God promises to win a battle with him and his 32,000 men. That is, until God decides that’s too big of an army.

Judges 7:3
Therefore, tell the people, ‘Whoever is timid or afraid may leave this mountain and go home.’” So 22,000 of them went home, leaving only 10,000 who were willing to fight.

God decided to use 10,00 men instead of 32,000. That’s a pretty substantial decrease.

It doesn’t stop there.

Photo Courtesy of: http://www.fotopedia.com/items/flickr-3086908057

God says something along the lines of, “Gideon, that’s still too many! Go to the river and only take the crazy ones with you, the real Neanderthals who drink the water like a dog and lap it up with their tongues—the ones likely missing large parts of their brains. All I need is 300 scrubs.”

Let’s take a timeout here. God has effectively asked Gideon to fight with a Swiss Army Knife instead of a convoy of tanks–and Gideon obeys.

Then, in typical God fashion, Gideon’s army goes to battle and defeats the Midianites with less than 1% of the original army and no weapons but trumpets and torches.

How do you win a battle with 1% of your army using only trumpets and torches? With faith in God.

No military leader in their right mind would ever send 99% of their army home before a battle and only take instruments and flaming sticks. Unless God is the one leading the army.

God gets more glory when things are unexplainable apart from Him.

When things are so tight financially that only a miracle can fix it, when things are so wrecked only His hand can rescue it, when things are totally and completely beyond human repair, God gets all the glory when things are redeemed.

• When a marriage is on the brink of divorce, don’t think God can’t turn it all around.
• If the doctors have only given you months to live, don’t think God isn’t bigger than a timeline.
• When money is so short you don’t know how you’ll eat tomorrow, don’t think God isn’t bigger than your next day.

God can do far more with 1% and a grain of faith than we could ever do with all the resources in the world trying to make things happen on our own.

God works best when time is short, when resources are scarce, and when things are overwhelming. In those moments, He only requires faith.

“I would probably believe in God if he showed himself to me. Or if I had a near death experience and had some vision. If he came down to me and said, ‘I am God. Believe in me.’ Then I would start believing”

In my encounters, visions and near death experiences top the charts in what it would take for those who don’t believe in God to place their faith in Him.

I understand where they’re coming from. They need some proof. They need an experience. Just like you need to drink a cup of the World’s Best Coffee to believe it’s the real deal.

“If Christians really believe in God, the God who created the universe, it should be no problem for Him to show Himself to me.”

It’s an awfully selfish request. It’s framed in a way implying God owes us something—as if we deserve to hear from him in a way we decide. That God should erase our need for faith in order to embrace Him.

To those who have never experienced God: Don’t limit experiencing Him to near death experiences and angelic visions. God rarely shows up in the form of a burning bush or audible voice.

It’s not impossible, it’s just unlikely.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have opportunities to experience Him.

Maybe you’ve had nothing but hardships, seen nothing but hypocrites who claim to be Christians, and the closest you’ve come to experiencing God is hearing a Fray song at the bar.

Don’t give up. God is alive. He is here. You just haven’t experienced Him yet.

If you’re asking why God hasn’t visibly appeared or audibly spoken to you, you’re asking the wrong question. You need to ask, If I want to experience God, where is the most likely place for that to happen?

You haven’t experienced God because you haven’t put yourself (and your heart) in a place to experience Him.

You may not like to hear it, but God promises to show up where two or more are gathered in His name (Matthew 18:20)—making a church that has a pastor and at least one person in attendance a good start. God also promises to draw near to those who draw near to Him (James 4:8). Have you gathered in His name? Have you tried to draw near to Him through reading the Bible or praying to Him?

God can show up at a bar, but chances are it is going to be hard to hear Him there.

God can show up in a vision, but He’s already showed up in the flesh, in the form of His son, Jesus Christ. He could speak audibly to you, or He could write you a whole book, the longest love letter ever written, in the form of the Bible.

Don’t limit how you can experience a limitless God. Put yourself in a position to experience Him in places He promises to be.

Results show that over thirty days with no change in diet and no exercise you can lose 20 pounds!

What a delight! All we have to do is take a pill, make no changes in our life, and we can lose weight. Sign me up!

Whether or not the claims we hear each day from every direction of the media are true, I think it highlights a problem much larger than obesity in our culture.

Photo provided by http://www.sxc.hu/profile/dariuszman

We want things to change without having to sacrifice anything.

We want to lose weight but eat all the Twinkies we want.
We want to fix our relationships but we don’t want to turn off the TV and truly communicate.
We want a job we love without having to do anything more than submit a resume online.
We want to go to heaven but we don’t want to stop living for hell.

We have been inundated with laziness and apathy thanks to everyone from infomercials to Disney. We want to do what we’ve always done but achieve different results (some say that’s the definition of insanity) because that’s what we hear everyone else is doing.

No sacrifice. No change. No problem.

Take a pill; fix your life.

My friends, there is no diet pill for your life. There is no change without sacrifice.

If you want to lose weight, you need to die to your old diet and laziness.
If you want to repair broken relationships, you need to die to yourself and put others’ needs above your own.
If you want a job you love, you need to die to the old way of doing things and create value that no one else can.
If you want to go to heaven, you need to die to your sin through the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

There are no shortcuts to change. There are no life-changing pills. You have to die to your old ways if you want to live differently.

Within the past week, millions of resolutions have been made by people all across the world…

lose weight
exercise more
read a book
watch less TV
spend more time with my family
invest more money

…and the majority of people will give up by the end of the month.

Why is it that we quickly give up on making changes? The issue is the “resolution” itself.

A definition for resolution says,

“finding a solution to a problem”

Great. A solution to a problem.
“Problem: I’m overweight. Solution: I need to lose weight.”

“Problem: I’m retiring in two years and I don’t have a penny in savings. Solution: I need to invest more money.”

The issue with the solution to the problem is that there is no plan. There’s no intended course of action. There’s no commitment. It’s like saying the solution to the United States deficit is spending less. It’s true, but that’s not going to fix the problem if there aren’t clear, tangible steps for moving forward.

Here’s what I recommend to turn your resolutions into implementations:

1. Narrow your resolutions down to three or less. More than that is simply impossible to focus on, and by trying to focus on too many you won’t accomplish any of them.
2. Create a plan with hard deadlines and measurable outcomes. If you want to cut your TV consumption in half over the next two months, start by watching an hour less each week until you reach your desired goal. Take baby steps to get where you want to go. While you’re taking small steps, make sure to track your habits to see if you’re making progress. Buy a notebook. Write it down. Set a goal for each week or month and refer to your notes to see if you’re on target.
3. Tell everyone you know about your new change. Tweet and blog about it. Call your closest friends. Send out an email to your coworkers. Ask them to keep you accountable. When your reputation is on the line, there’s no doubt you’ll be more likely to implement.

What are your New Year’s “Implementations” and how do you plan on making them happen?

Over the past month and a half, I’ve been contacting just about everyone I know in an effort to raise $5,000 for charity: water, an organization that donates 100% of its proceeds to building wells in developing nations.

I’ve talked [to a great extent] about the need for clean water across the world [and you can check out all the posts by clicking here].

Photo provided by Egilshay on stock.xchng

To be honest, it hasn’t been easy, but it’s been incredible to see people give generously and abundantly.

I think a lot of us have trouble asking for help. It’s difficult. It’s uncomfortable. It requires a leap of faith.

But let me share a little secret with you.

If you have relationships built on a foundation of trust, you should have no fear in asking for help.

We struggle to ask people for help, or donations, or for their time because we don’t want to be a bother.

Here’s the thing:

Providing opportunities is not an inconvenience.

People can ignore your blog posts, unsubscribe from your feed, stop following or unfriend you if they don’t like your approach, but I don’t think they will. In fact, many times they are thrilled to help out.

I haven’t received a single piece of negative feedback in my attempt to raise $5,000 for charity: water.

People want to help. They want to be a part of something bigger. They want to make an impact. All you have to do is ask.

6 Things You Must Do When Asking for Help

1. Humble yourself. You can’t be afraid to step off of your pedestal and say, “I can’t do this alone–I need you to join me.”
2. Tell a story. You have to engage others with a story in order to win their attention and their hearts to your cause.
3. Present it as an opportunity. When you ask for help, a lot of people aren’t going to respond. That’s ok. Don’t think people are ignoring you or that they are heartless. Too many people are simply overextended. Show them that you are merely presenting an opportunity, without expectations of any kind.
4. Cast a wide net. Even if you’ve only spoken to someone once, any connection is good enough to present an opportunity.
5. Ask again. You have got to remind people of your opportunity. Emails get deleted and lost in cyberspace. Things that take action get pushed to the bottom of the To Do pile. Remind people of the opportunity you’ve presented them with a time or two, but don’t over do it.
6. Thank them profusely. This is far and a way the most important part. Send a thank you email. Tell them in person when you see them. Write a handwritten card. Go over the top with your gratitude. It’s tough to over-thank. And if you take the time to do this, people will want to help you again in the future.

I’m going to keep asking. I’m going to keep providing opportunities for you to give your time, your resources, and your love to those who are less fortunate, those you don’t even know, those who desperately need your help .

I hope you’ll ask me too.

[To help my charity: water campaign, click here]

Leaders don’t exist without followers. It’s like a peanut butter sandwich trying to exist without bread. A zoo existing without animals. Northeast Ohio without snow. It’s simply not possible.

So how do you attract more followers (the real life kind, most importantly, but inevitably the Twitter kind too)?

Authenticity and Engagement.

Photo provided by Odyar

Don’t be afraid of who you are. Whoever you are, wherever your from, there are people who want to know the real you. Not everyone will give you a chance, and that’s their loss. People crave authentic, engaging leaders.

The Two Keys

1. Authenticity
Don’t hide who you are. Don’t be embarrassed by your interests. Don’t conform to a mold because you think that’s what leaders are supposed to look like. Don’t tweet about sports if you don’t care about sports. We can see right through it when you tell us someone just kicked a touchdown.

It’s clear when people are putting on an act. Be who you were created to be. Embrace your passion for stamp collecting or your obsession with scrapbooking. There is no normal.

But there is a huge problem with trying to be what other people consider normal at the cost of your sincerity and authenticity.

Do what you love. Lead people who are interested in what you’re interested in. They need you.

2. Engagement

You can’t be a leader without followers. You won’t have followers if they don’t know who you are.

When people reach out to you, you must respond. You have to comment when they say something interesting, you have to encourage when they do something spectacular.

You are not bigger or better than anyone else. You have a unique platform and opportunity, but ignoring (or, perhaps, ignorance) is not an option.

Engage people. Meet with them. Message them. Build them up. Show them the benefits of trudging forward and of being unique.

People are out there. They want to be led.

Be real. Be there.

When something doesn’t work, do you ask why bother or why not?

When you’re presented with an opportunity, do you ask why not try it or why should I?

When you are considering trying something new (blogging, skiing, college, career change), are you asking why put in the effort or why not give it a whirl?

When you’re asking if you should reach out to someone, are you asking why waste my time or why miss this connection?

When someone contacts you (and only you) for something, do you ask why me or why not someone else?

When you feel defeated, do you ask why keep going or why stop here?

Most of the time, if it’s the right thing to do, you’ll get the same answer to both questions.

Photo provided by adamci

Forrest Gump said life was like a box of chocolates. In 2010, I think he’d be more apt to say:

Life is like a bunch of blog posts–you never know the impact of you’re gonna write.

Blogging creates a platform to influence people, even people who don’t know you beyond your About page.

If you’re a blogger, I hope this list inspires you. If you’re thinking about starting a blog, I hope it convinces you to take the plunge.

7 Ways Blogging is Just Like Life

1. It’s hard. If that’s not a euphemism I don’t know what is. Nothing about life is easy. You have to wake up every day and decide that you’re going to take things in stride, putting your best foot forward. Blogging is the same way. There are days when you’re not going to want to write. There are days when you know you have something to say, but you don’t make the time to say it. Make the time. It’s worth it. We want to hear from you.

2. You’re going to have off days. If we knew which side of the bed was the wrong one, we’d probably avoid getting up on it. If we knew which blog posts were going to be absolute garbage, we probably wouldn’t write them. Unfortunately, it’s unavoidable. All you can hope to do is keep driving forward in an effort to find out what works and what doesn’t. Then, simply do the things that work.

3. What you do gets noticed… People watchers are everywhere. People notice when you help an old lady cross the street, and when you walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on your foot. People are reading your posts and talking about them with others, for better or worse. But…

4. …but not everyone is going to comment. Just because people see you doing fantastic things doesn’t mean they are going to say something to you. Some will encourage you to keep going through their comments, but most won’t say a word. Be encouraged by the people who take the time to tell you, and don’t forget about the majority you’re impacting who aren’t saying anything.

5. You have an opportunity to make an impact every day. Each day you live and each post you write is going to affect someone’s thinking. The information you share in conversations and through posts will either integrate with their worldview or differentiate from it. It inspires critical thinking. You are filling a void no one else in this world can by doing what you do every day.

6. To keep influencing, you have to stay motivated. When things get hard, the easiest thing to do is quit. Please don’t. What you do matters. Every day you have a chance to positively or negatively affect the people around you. If you are motivated to make a difference, you will. Without the driving force of motivation, you’re going to ineveitably lose your impact. Let your impact motivate you.

7. It’s not about the stats. If you can only help one person today [or if only one person reads your blog], don’t be upset because Oprah just gave away 500 cars. Do all that you can with the platform you have. That’s all we can ask of you.

Keep blogging. Keep living your life to make a difference. People notice. We need your influence.

Moving is essential.

It’s not easy. You’re going to think about going back. But at some point, somewhere along the way, you have to say: It’s time to pull the trigger.

I’ve officially dove in head first, my friends. The pool is kind of shallow, and now my neck kind of hurts.

You see, I’ve been entertaining [or at least, attempting to entertain] the interwebs for about 15 months, and I decided it was time to ditch the diapers and put on my big boy pants.

My blog has officially moved to the more prestigious, http://jshirk.com.

While you were stuffing your face with turkey and elbowing moms fighting over $1 underwear on Black Friday, I was hustling to make this move happen just in time for the last few hours of Cyber Monday.

Here’s the way I see the over-all incredulousness of the blog increasing:

Highlights of the big move:

12% more time spent fiddling with the design
15% more whitespace [yay, minimalism!]
63% more blogging activity
73% more likelihood of generating guest posts
100% more legit in every way

For a grand total of….[carrying the one]….

263% more awesomeness all-around.

Here are the unfortunate things about the move:

• If you Google me or my blog, my old WordPress site is going to continue coming up until I blow it up [date set for December 31, 2010, well before the Mayans are predicting the end of the world]
• Links in all of my blogs [currently] link back to the old site, which is a bummer [but if anyone has a quick/dirty/easy way to update it so they back link to this blog, well, I promise to tweet about your greatness]
• If you subscribe by email, you’ll need to resubscribe here: If you subscribe by RSS, by the magic of Feedburner your feed is already updated. Hooray!

Here’s what I’m committing to blogging about:

• Faith
• Giving
• Ideas
• Influence
• Leadership
• Motley [as defined by dictionary.com: a collection containing a variety of sorts of things; not to be confused with the Crüe]

This move means more time, more problems, and probably more headaches. It also, more importantly, means more opportunity, more room for creative genius, and more reward for the work put in.

It’s worth it. It’s not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.

The blogosphere is my oyster. I hope you’ll be here to dig in with me.

I take things for granted all too often.

This is my attempt at realizing how much I have to be thankful for. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but instead just a start of the nouns I’ve been so richly blessed by.

1. Waking up every morning knowing I am accepted and forgiven as a child of God [which will forever be a mystery]
2. A family that loves me and encourages me [and blows me away with their support]
3. A wonderful woman I don’t deserve [and who loves me despite my flaws]
4. Clean water [and the opportunity to bring it to others]
5. Living in the best country in the world [and objectively knowing it]
6. The opportunity to attend college [and all that the experience has brought me]
7. Hilarious roommates [and the log cabin we live in]
8. Friends that inspire me to do great things [and their decisions to run alongside me]
9. Christmas Blend [and all that is a coffee shop between Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially]
10. Books [especially Seth's and the impact they've had on me]
11. Blogging [and the opportunities this outlet has brought me]
12. Football [and the way Cleveland sports has made me tougher]
13. Viral Videos [and the way they help people move out of the ghetto]
14. Free shipping [and the joys of getting packages in the mail for much cheaper than you get the same item unpackaged at the store]
15. Fitness [and all that it's helped me achieve]
16. My job [and colleagues who make it a joy to come to work]
17. Cookies [because they taste so good]

Today, let’s not just say what we’re thankful for. Let’s do something about it.

• Tell the people in your life that you’re grateful for their impact and influence
• Thank the Lord through prayers
• Write a note [with your hand!] to someone you appreciate
• Donate to someone who isn’t as fortunate as you
• Volunteer to ring a bell or dish out soup to help those in need
• Let someone know you love them
• Buy coffee for a stranger
• At thanksgiving dinner, ask everyone to share what they appreciate about the person next to them
• Help someone anonymously
• Share what you have
• Do something difficult with the platform and opportunities you have

Let’s make this the most thankful year yet.

I’m not comfortable asking people for money. I’m especially uncomfortable when I’m offering something of little value.

When I was growing up, I hated pushing candy bars. I hated book orders. I hated “selling” anything in fundraising form.

I could never quite nail the approach of the sale…

“Would you like to buy a [fill in the blank with crappy product] for only [an unreasonable price] so our school doesn’t shut down?”

It’s impossible to sell something you don’t believe in.

You might be able to fight it for a while. You might be able to trick yourself into believing what you’re hocking is a good product. At some point, however, the house of cards is going to fall, and you’re going to lose hope.

I’ve tried it before. I’ve been scammed into selling things I don’t believe in. It didn’t work. I gave up.

What I’m selling here is something I believe in. I’m selling one day for the lives of 250 people.

What I’m selling is more than my birthday. More than an As Seen on TV product you’re going to be sorely disappointed with.

I’m selling a chance to save lives.

A chance to impact people on the other side of the world. A chance to bring a basic need to people who will die without it.

This birthday isn’t about me. This sale isn’t for a Snuggie or a Shamwow.

It’s about helping your fellow human beings.

It’s about giving generously because you’ve been blessed to live in the world’s most prosperous nation.

I could give you a list of 22 reasons why you should donate. Or 22 things I’ll do if we break $5,000. Or give testimonials of 22 people who have already donated.

I could tell you, “It’s ok if you don’t want to give.” I could tell you water isn’t that big of a deal. I could apologize for my tone, or my bombardment of your inboxes and feeds.

Instead, I’m going to tell it like it is.

45,000 people died last week. Another 45,000 are going to die this week. A child dies every 20 seconds. 1 billion people are thirsty.

All because of water.

I’m asking you to save lives. I’d be a fool to pass up presenting this opportunity to you. This isn’t a plea for money. This is a chance for you to make a profound difference in someone else’s life today.

No matter what you’ve done or didn’t do. No matter how many Salvation Army bell ringers you’ve passed up or people in need you’ve failed to help, now is your chance to do something. I‘ve missed the same opportunities. I’ve left people out in the cold, failed to help those in need, failed to support people who are dying because I was too selfish.

I just decided enough is enough.

Will you do the same?

Click here to donate clean water and save lives.

The word you got you here. You want to know about the big problem you have. It’s interesting that you thought I was talking about you specifically.

It’s especially interesting because I am.

The Big You Problem

I always turn around when I hear my name. It’s a reflex I’ll never shake.

But I rarely  respond when someone says, “Hey, you!”

That’s what spam does. The same is true for telemarketing. And when the professor asks an open question to the class.

All of those channels throw out a massive plea for action and pray at least one person will respond.

In those cases, you don’t take have to take action. You could be anybody. The word you is rationalized and reasoned away from being you [that is, the human reading this].

If I called you by name, you would probably listen. Unfortunately, I can’t.

That’s the problem with blogs. The channel is impersonal. People respond don’t respond because they don’t have to.

In a face-to-face, one-on-one conversation with you, it’s hard to ignore me when I ask you a question. But when the question is posed to the world [or blogosphere, or class, or group, or individuals numbering more than 1], you think, “He isn’t talking to me. Someone else will respond. I don’t have to take action.”

Right now, though, I’m talking to you.

Setting You Straight

I’m asking you to take action. You. The Reader. The one with your eyes on the page right this second. I wish I could call you by name, but blogs limit personal greetings.

Don’t be another person in the crowd that ignores the call. Don’t pretend you aren’t responsible.

It reminds me of the situations when someone passes out and a crowd of people gather around. One person yells out,

“Somebody call 9-1-1!”

But no one does.

You think,

“It’s not me she’s asking to call. It’s the guy next to me. Or the girl on the other side of the circle. She’ll call. She’s a good citizen. I see her on her iPhone right now.”

And everyone else proceeds with the same thought. The ambulance doesn’t come because you have rationalized away the call to you.

Few people comment on blogs. I’d guess even fewer take action after reading a post [but they'll probably tweet it to their friends and post it to their Facebook].

Start taking action. Stop ignoring the call to you.

You have a chance to respond. To take action. To make a difference. You are the one I’m talking to.

What I’m Asking of You

As of Tuesday, November 16 at 8:12am, 39 people have donated to bring clean water to a developing nation. They knew I was talking to them when I said “you”.

Now I’m asking you. The reader. Not someone else. Not the next person to read this or the person before you. I’m. Asking. You.

To those of you who have donated already and shared the link with your friends and family, thank you. I’m incredibly grateful for your response.

To those of you still reading, still waiting for a personal invitation: here it is.

Will you help save lives?

[For more information about donating to help people dying every day due to a lack of clean water, check out the posts here and here and donate here.]

Photo courtesy of stock.xchng/digital_a

[This post is a transcript of a Toastmaster's Icebreaker speech I gave Wednesday, November 10, 2010. If you're a reader, scroll down. If you're a listener, press play. If you like sing alongs, press play and then scroll down. If you're about curious what I look like when I give speeches, well, that's taken care of too. I've found togas command respect.]

My Life According to Water by jshirk

Water is life’s mater and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water.
- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Albert and I are on the same page. I think water is incredibly important. More than just being the precursor to the “ice” of an ice breaker, water is life. I’ve identified three key dimensions in my life that revolve around water. Drinking water helps me complete my daily activities. Living water, my faith in God that guides me, and charity: water, an organization that has inspired me to help people gain access to clean water on the other side of the globe.

I drink water often enough that I have to go to the bathroom constantly. No seriously, there’s a good chance I’d wet myself if I had class for more than two hours in a row.

I love water. I consume upwards of a gallon of the stuff every single day. I enjoy running and working out, and it’s essential to be hydrated if I want to participate in those activities without passing out.

Water is a thread that “runs” through my day. I wake up and drink a cold glass of water. I go to the gym and bring my infamous Yellowstone Park water bottle that my mom snagged for me on a trip out west.

[Speaking of that bottle, I take it with me everywhere, and it's a miracle I haven't lost it. In fact, it's been left in a restaurant in Slovenia, in more classrooms than I can count, and in darn near every single Athens coffee shop. I've tried my best to lose the thing, but it's like a boomerang--I throw it around and it comes right back.]

But alas, I digress. Back to water. As I go through my day, I’m always drinking water. It keeps me refreshed, keeps me focused, and keeps me going. And what’s convenient about water in the United States is that it’s free. We’ll, someone somewhere along the way is paying for the water that magically comes out of the shiny silver pipes we toss our bottles under, but unless we’re in our own homes, it’s not our bill to pay.

Earlier I mentioned I left my water bottle in a restaurant in Slovenia. I went to that little gem of a country in Eastern Europe this past summer on a missions trip with Campus Crusade for Christ. Which brings me to the second part of water in my life: Living Water.

I consider myself a follower of Jesus Christ, who claimed to be the Son of God who died for the sins of humans and rose again to conquer death. He is also known as the “Living Water.”

This might seem a bit crazy and forward to you, and it did to me too, but early in my college career I found the party lifestyle unfulfilling. I found that booze was no substitute for the eternal spring of life and that my actions were acts of rebellion against God.

During my sophomore year, I truly placed my faith in God through a personal relationship with Jesus.

It’s been far and away the best decision I’ve ever made.

Each day I know that I serve a God that loves me and gives me life through the truth of the living water. I could spend the rest of this speech talking about my faith, but I think it’s much better as a conversation than a monologue.

As a result of following the Living Water, I’ve been compelled to help those who are in need. To be completely honest, I’m ridiculously selfish. I wish I could say I do things out of the kindness of my heart, but any good that’s in me is a result of God working through me. With that being said, for my 22nd birthday on November 22nd, I’ve decided to sell my birthday to raise money to build wells in developing nations where people don’t have clean water through an organization called charity: water–the third piece of water in my life.

You already know how important water is to me. I couldn’t go a single day without it, but there are people who are drinking dirty water every day that’s killing them.

In fact, 45,000 people will die this week because they’re drinking dirty water. Every twenty seconds a child dies from a lack of clean water, which means nine have died since the beginning of this speech and another three will die before it’s over.

Dirty water kills more people than cancer and aids combined every single year. People don’t have clean water. People don’t have something we turn a knob for. Something we take for granted. Something we waste.

That doesn’t sit right with me. As a result of that unsettledness, I’ve asked friends, family and strangers to donate $22 for my 22nd birthday to my campaign in an effort to raise $5,000–enough to build a well in a developing nation.

If I raise $5,000 by the end of the year I told the world I’d run another marathon, which is by no means something I would do on my own will. For a lot of people running a marathon isn’t a big deal. For someone who hasn’t run more than a mile in months, I’d call it a pretty big deal.

Oh, and if by some stroke of pure generosity I raise $10,000, I’ll run the marathon barefoot, which is latin for “with no shoes on“.

Is that crazy? Maybe a little. But what’s truly crazy is that people are dying. every. day because they don’t have access to the most basic need on the planet.

My friends, that’s me. That’s my life. That’s how water affects me every single day. Now that the ice is broken, let’s talk about water, because as our boy Arnold says, there is no life without it.

[This post is part of a continuing series on getting clean water to developing nations. If you want to be a part of giving this story a happy ending, donate $22 and make my birthday wish come true.]

As I scribbled down notes from Scott Harrison’s life story and events leading to the founding of charity: water, I somehow felt isolated from the other 13,000 people in Gwinnett Arena. It seemed as if the spotlights on the center of the stage had slowly, simultaneously spun outward, focusing on me.

I sat still with a pen in my south paw and journal spread wide on my lap, figuratively blinded by the lights, reflecting on the need to do something. I spun through the Rolodex of 21 years of memories in my life and definitively found a section completely empty: helping the helpless.

I was proud of the things I’d accomplished over the years, but I was ashamed at my complete and utter inability to make an impact on people who desperately needed help. It was then, at that moment on October 7 at 11:23am that I decided it was time to fill in the gap in my life. It was time to make a difference for people, to be a voice for those whose voices are drowned out by consumerism in a country with more money than it knows what to do with.

Stories are captivating. They’re in need of telling. They are the only way to get your message through in a world of clutter. Tell stories, bring change. Tell stories, break through.

Here are the five reasons why you must tell stories [or run the risk of not being heard at all]

1. To Engage

A good story captivates an audience. It brings them in. They are no longer outsiders, they are a part of the story. A regular presentation can be is easily forgotten, but a story touches hearts and lives.

Powerpoint slides are easy to ignore. Stories are difficult to resist.

2. To Empathize

It’s tough for people to relate to statistics.

It’s overwhelming when you hear 1 billion people in the world don’t have access to clean water.

What’s a billion of anything even look like?

Statistics like that give us a chance to say, “There’s nothing I can do.“

When you tell a story about one of those people behind the statistics, everything changes.

When you hear about a 15-year-old boy like Jean Bosco who spent nearly every hour every single day making four to five trips to fetch water in a murky, stagnant pond your eyes are opened. He carries a 20-gallon container on his head for miles to get water.

We complain about getting up from the couch to go to the faucet for water.

It’s impossible to imagine what people are going through for water. But a story helps us connect.

3. To Emphasize

There are needs and opportunities all around. There are more products to buy outside of yours, more people to hire other than you, more causes than the one you support.
Many of those products and needs aren’t telling stories.

You have an opportunity to emphasize the need through your story.

Don’t rely on statistics. Real ‘em in with a story.

4. To Elaborate

It’s tough to convey the depth of a need, the truth of a story, the real size of an issue without a story.

Stories take problems and show how far they truly extend.

Clean water isn’t a tiny issue. It’s a far-reaching epidemic that only a story can capture.

5. To Excite

Everyone wants to be a part of a story with a happy ending [Why do you think Disney is so successful?].

When you tell a devastating story, people are hurt. They’re moved. They’re touched.

When you tell them they can be a part of changing the ending, they get excited.

Be a part of the story for clean water across the globe. Get excited. Your donation will change lives.

[Photo provided by charity: water]

Over the past few days, I’ve encountered a number of questions about my campaign to raise $5,000 for charity: water for my birthday.

First, thanks for asking. I’m blessed to know you care. Here are the questions. If you have more, I’d love to answer them.

Why?

I’d love to be a hipster and just say “Why not?”, but that’d leave us both feeling a little empty.

The truth is that I feel called to impact the world because of The Gospel of Jesus Christ. There are needy people, Jesus said we should help those in need, and I saw a non sequitur in my life–I say I want to help people, I’m called to help the least of these, but I haven’t been doing a thing about it. I needed to rectify that. This is my first step in that direction.

I’m blessed to be living in the most prosperous nation in the world. I drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of clean water a day, and before last month, I rarely thought about people who are drinking water that’s killing them. Why am I doing something? Because something needs to be done.

Why charity: water?

When I attended the Catalyst Conference last month, I heard the charity: water CEO Scott Harrison speak. I’ve been burdened with the need to provide clean water before, [through organizations like ClearBlue] but I’ve never taken action. Scott presented the idea of donating/selling your birthday to give to charity.

Scott talked about the importance of telling a story when inspiring people to take part in a charity. His passion inspired me, and I decided it was my turn to pass on the story. [And for my devoted blog followers, I gave you a heads up in my Catalyst post: "I’ve got big plans (that most certainly involve you) for my birthday..." Consider charity: water that big plan involving you.]

At any rate, I realized that I know a whole lot of fantastic, generous, giving people and saw an opportunity to tell a story to them. This is that story.

I also chose charity: water because they’ve made giving easy and accessible. Even people with good intentions won’t give if it’s too complicated. Donating is easy–charity: water has made giving life easy.

Is it legit?

The short answer: absolutely.

I don’t think non-profits get more legitimate than helping developing nations and giving 100% of the proceeds to charity. That’s just nuts. If you want to dig around for yourself, here’s all the information and background on charity: water you could ever want [and a direct link to the financials]

Are you doing this to prove something?

The only thing I hope to prove is that there are people with giant hearts who are willing to give until it hurts not for my birthday, not to make me run a marathon, not to get their names on a donor page or a t-shirt, but to prove that helping people who can’t help themselves isn’t just a good idea, it’s a responsibility.

So you’re running a marathon?

That’s the deal. We raise $5,000, and I’ll go 26.2 [the specific marathon is still to be determined based on scheduling conflicts, but I promise it'll be before the end of June 2011].

And how’s this for upping the ante: if we break $10,000, I’ll run the marathon barefoot.

Does a suburban kid from Akron, Ohio who hasn’t run more than a mile in months often go barefoot in marathons?

Considering I’m not a masochist, my normal response would be no. That is, unless, the kid mentioned above is raising money for something really important. Unbelievably important. More important than darn near anything else I’ve ever done. In that case, it looks like the answer yes.

The least I can do is run a race so people can drink clean water.

Why should I care?

I hope I’ve answered that already in this post, but more than anything I hope you care because human beings, people just like you and me, people who live on the other side of the world don’t have something we take for granted. They don’t have something we waste. Their water is killing them. That’s not right. And we can do something about it. Let’s do it.

If you haven’t seen, I’m hocking my birthday so that people in developing nations can have clean water, and I need your help in building a well.

If money is tight, I can totally relate. I thought I’d share some ways you can bootstrap it and save some cash to bring the most basic need to some of the most needy people on the planet [and then donate here].

Here are

22 ways

you can save money over the next 58 days and give to this incredible cause.

1. Rent a movie instead of going to the theatre. Movie tickets are outrageous, normally hovering between $8 and $9 a piece. And don’t tell me you go to the movies and without snagging a bag of popcorn that you need a wheelbarrow to move and a 92 oz. Coke you need an IV to get down. If you have a  family of three [or two friends] find a Redbox and get a $1 rental instead of going out.
2. Donate the money you “saved” from grocery reward programs. There are few things more thrilling in the life of a soccer mom/college student than looking at how much money you saved at the bottom of your receipt after you hit the grocery store. Next time you’re at the store, see how much you saved and donate that amount.
3. Go to Starbucks 1.5 times less a week. I’m no math major but if we assume you skip your $3.75 venti half skim/half whole, [with fat-free sugar-free hazelnut syrup] frappa-mocha-chino 1.5 times a week for a whole month, you’ll save $22.5. Boom. Clean water.
4. Drive 40 miles less a week. Stock up at the grocery store and make one trip for the whole month. Carpool to work. Walk to the corner store. Bike to soccer practice. Whatever it takes, just drive less. If you can cut out 40 miles a week and you average 20 MPG and gas is approximately $2.90 a gallon, in a month you’ll have $23.20. More. Clean. Water.
5. Get takeout instead of eating out. Four words: Applebee’s Carside To Go. No tax on takeout. No tip at the table. Eat out IN YOUR HOUSE! Save that cash.

6. Buy off brand.

   Who needs Frosted Mini Wheats when there are delights likeFrosted Mini Spooners? Think you want Count Chocula? You’re wrong. What you really want is Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys. I can’t make this stuff up. Snag the off-brand stuff, and I promise the mateys and spooners will equally satisfy you.

7. Work more hours. I know it’s not an option for everyone, but even if you make the Ohio state minimum of $7.30 an hour, an extra four hours for the month will get you over $22.
8. Listen to the music you have and stop downloading fart apps. If you actually buy your music [which I encourage, "Hey, RIAA!"], don’t buy any for a month. And you don’t need your 65th worthless iPod or iPhone application. Save your money, turn jams into water.
9. Sell something. By hocking my birthday I believe I’ve illustrated that you can sell anything. That antique hanging lamp that doesn’t work. Poker chips you haven’t used since it was cool to play poker in 2003. A designer sweater still hanging up with the tags on it. Sell it. Have a garage sale. Sell it online. You can do it. Part with it so people can drink clean water.
10. Ask 22 friends for $1. The average person on Facebook has 130 friends on the site [but to be honest, probably less in real life]. Hit up 22 of those “friends” from high school that you never talk to for a dollar a piece. 22 friends x $1 = {crunching numbers….calculating…carrying the one…} $22

11. Trade gift cards online for cash.

    There are a number of sites online where you can sell gift cards to weird restaurants that you’ll probably never use for COLD. HARD. CASH. Do it. I haven’t tried it personally, but from what I’ve seen, Plastic Jungle is legit. Yes, dust off those gift cards from Christmas 2005 and swap ‘em for some Hamiltons.

12. Lower your cell phone plan. NOOOOO! Yes. Do it. Extroverts, cut your unlimited texting for a month and only call people. Introverts, lower your monthly minutes and only text people. Solutions all around. Either way, you can certainly save $22. Or just call your carrier and threaten to leave and see what they say [tell them you'll stick around if they donate for clean water].
13. Sell your textbooks. College students, if you have a book you can’t sell at the bookstore, try hustling it online. I’ve used Half.com a number of times and had tons of success selling there. Don’t let that Sociology of Apes in 3010 textbook sit lonely at the bottom of your dirty clothes pile any more. Move it online and get some cash.
14. Stop buying bottled water. If you buy bottled water at the store or from a vending machine, stop. Snag a cheap refillable bottle and use that for the month. You drink tap water = kids in Africa drink clean water.
15. Collect and count change. You know those shiny coins with dead presidents? If you get a bunch of them they are worth some paper money. Ask your friends for change. Flip the couch over. Pick up every penny you see on the street. Then count it and take it to the bank [and don't you dare take it to Coinstar or you'll have to find 8.9% more of it. It costs a lot to pay that little guy inside the machine who counts the coins].

16. Donate in the name of someone.

    The holidays are coming up, and what better gift can you give then donating water in someone’s name? Birthdays, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza–give a gift that keeps on giving in the form of pure H20. Shoot, if you do that, I’ll even make up a certificate and MAIL IT TO YOU in honor of the person you’re donating for.

17. Recycle 440 aluminum cans. That’s a lot of cans, you say? Maybe contact one of your friends whose having a big “soda” party, snag the empty vessels and then take them to the nearest recycling center for 5 cents a “pop.”
18. Get thrifty. Don’t buy a new outfit for the holidays at full price. Hit up your local Goodwill or Salvation Army and get one of those stylish Christmas sweaters. Money in the bank [and bonus points for being the most fashionable one at your family gatherings].
19. Use the library instead of buying books. I understand that the average American buys one book for pleasure reading a year. If you’re one of those Americans [or if you're a book-buying Canadian] hit up the library instead of Amazon for your next book need. Free books = cash for water.
20. Get crafty. Knit something, sew something, bake something. Use random things you have around the house, sell it on Etsy.com and give the proceeds to be a part of changing the world.

21. Live in the dark and take less showers.

    Lots of benefits in this one. Cut your electric and water consumption to save some money. Not only that, but your friends might ask if you’ve been living in a cave. If they do, tell them if they donate you’ll take a shower, making hanging out more enjoyable for everyone.

I promised 22, so I need your help. In the comments, let us know: What will you do to bring clean water to people who desperately need it?

To make a long-story short:

I’m asking you to donate $22 for my birthday to save lives by providing clean water. If we raise $5,000 by the end of the year, I’ll run a marathon (and you’ll get a shout out on my shirt).

To make a short-story long:

On November 22, I turn 22, but this year, I’m giving up my birthday.

No gifts. No cards. No cakes, pies, or presents.

All so that some of the 1 billion people in the world who don’t have access to clean water can have another chance to live.

And I need your help.

I’ve created a campaign at mycharitywater.org/jshirk. Will you donate $22 [or really, as much as you want to change lives and give people clean water to drink] to make this the best birthday ever?

And to sweeten the pot, I’ll run another marathon [which is pretty much the last thing on the planet I want to do] if we raise $5,000 by December 31, and you’ll get your name on the shirt I wear.

Here’s why:

In the United States, water is an afterthought. It’s everywhere. It’s clean. We can buy it by the ounce or by the gallon.

Our water isn’t contaminated. It’s available. It’s clean. It’s the purest of pure. Heck, some of us pay to import our water from Fiji because “it tastes better.”

In other parts of the world, people die every day because they have no clean water.

As in no clean water to drink, to cook, to shower. No clean water because their toilet is next to the watering hole. No plumbing, no flushing, no turning the tap on when you’re feeling parched. There is no clean water.
This isn’t hypothetical. This is real. This is not just statistics.

Scholastica in Kenya can’t go to school because she’s too sick to walk from the water she’s’ drinking.

Wilgens in Haiti probably won’t make it to his next birthday because of the cholera outbreak and lack of clean water.

And there are billions, yes billions, of others who need our help.

People are dying because they don’t have clean water. WATER.

They’re not dying because they don’t have iPads.

They’re not dying because they have to wait in the drive through line of McDonald’s.

They are dying because they don’t have something that we waste by the gallon.

Every 20 seconds a child dies from a water-related disease. Every. 20. Seconds. [As in five kids have died since you've been read this post.]

These statistics make me weep. I refuse to let people die because they don’t have something we take for granted.

If you…

• love me, donate.
• read this blog, donate.
• were going to send me a card, give the money to kids who need water instead of Hallmark and the Postal Service and donate.
• disagree with me on all levels and want to make me run a marathon that I don’t want to run to inflict pain on me, donate
• want to change lives, donate.

Will you donate?
WIll you join me?
Will you share this post?
Will you help me save lives?
Will you give up your birthday?
Will you skip Starbucks to give?
WIll you change the world with me?

If you want to get involved at a deeper level than donating [say be running with me], or help me sweeten the pot in some other way, shoot me an email at jshirkman [at] gmail [dot] com.

Today I told The Resistance to shut up.

It wasn’t easy. But I did it (and when it questioned me, I asked “Did I stutter?“)

You see, The Resistance is a deceiver. It distracts and deters and diminishes and defiles.

It tells you lies.

Lies like:

You can put off that project until next quarter.
You don’t need to reach out to people.
The status quo is all that can be expected.

It’s the voice in the back of your head that all too often wins out.

The one that reasons you out of doing meaningful work.
The one that keeps you from having a tough conversation.
The one that tells you that failure is imminent.
The one that tells you to check your post views to validate your work

I was scared.

I was scared to write my first non-recap related blog post in weeks.

I was scared that I had no value to add, no thoughts to convey, no meaning to transmit in a world with too much content.

So I knew I had to do it.

I knew I had to tell you (yes you, on Facebook, checking your email) that today is the day you can shut up The Resistance to.

Don’t go to another website. Don’t tweet another link. Don’t walk to the water cooler to see if the Dixie cups need replaced.

Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. – Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Today, do something you’re scared to do. It won’t be easy, but few things that are worth doing ever are.

My brain feels like a Stretch Armstrong. It’s been effectively pulled into 20 directions, and I’m working on reshaping it so it’s not flowing out of my ears.

I’m in Atlanta for the Catalyst Conference–a two-day event that inspires young (and certainly old) leaders in The Church to “stop doing church and start being the church” (Thanks, Christine).  The sheer content of yesterday’s six sessions reminding us that “Tension is Good” was enough to go home with and mull over for weeks (probably more like months). Today we’re going back at it again.

I feel like I need to go home, ask myself where I want to be in ten years, start a charity that changes the world, empower the people I work with, stop human trafficking, do more emotional labor, and figure out what it’s going to take to make my life more congruent with the Bible.  (If you figure out how to do all those things concisely, tweet me). Oh, and should I get a bowlcut (yes, that’s Chris Tomlin in the video).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4ULQtQf2e4

The thing is, there are so many things I feel are urgent. So many world needs, so many opportunities to change the world around me, and my biggest fear is that I’ll go home and not do a darn thing different. I’m asking you to keep me accountable.

I’ve got big plans (that most certainly involve you) for my birthday and Christmas. Don’t let me get away without sharing with you the opportunities we have.

Let me share with you my biggest takeaways from Thursday’s sessions:

Andy Stanley

• There are constant internal tensions we have with our appetites.
• Our appetites for progress, responsibility, respect, winning, growth, fame, and achievement are constantly asking for more.
• Esau’s appetite cost him his birthright because he couldn’t control it and it changed the course of history (why we worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob instead of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Esau)
• Ask yourself, “What’s my bowl of stew?” (what will tempt you to compromise your future)

Scott Harrison

• Guilt is useless. Charity is about opportunity.
• People want to help they just haven’t been told the right story yet.
• Tell a story that others want to be a part of.

Daniel Pink

• We’re all artists trying to give the world something it didn’t know it was missing.
• Money isn’t our biggest motivator. Autonomy, Master, and Purpose.
• Once you pay someone enough, more money no longer motivates in anything more than a marginal way. Pay them until money isn’t an issue, and then give them the freedom to do great work.
• At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Was I better today than yesterday?“

Christine Caine

• Sheep don’t wake up and say, “I want to be lost.” They get preoccupied.
• The Church is here to help people reroute when they are taking the wrong path and meet them where they are at.
• Compassion doesn’t start until you have to cross the street and use your time, treasure and talents to help people.
• A million is just a statistic until you meet one.

Seth Godin

• We go bowling every day. Trying to be perfect and avoiding gutters, hoping for a strike and afraid to make a mistake.
• Do work that people will miss when you’re gone.
• You win by being more connected, not by being more compliant.
• A resume is just a piece of paper with brand names on it so others can decide how good you are.
• Deniability is why people don’t do emotional labor–labor that makes you vulnerable, is draining, and is the only kind worth doing.
• Do you know how many people want your seat…your platform…your ability to do work that matters? Don’t take it for granted.

Francis Chan

• Put your life in the context of scripture and ask, “Does my life make sense? Could it fit in this book?”
• Ezekiel 16:9; Matthew 25:44-46; Proverbs 28:27; Proverbs 21:13 What are we doing to help the least of these?

Last Thought: At the end of the day, we need to simply ask ourselves, “Are we doing something that is impacting the lives of others?”

I’ve done things the wrong way more than once.

I’ve been prone to working harder instead of working smarter. I jump in with both feet instead of assessing the situation. But, I think I’m getting better at realizing when something doesn’t look or feel right.

Photo provided by: Free Images

One thing that especially pains me is watching someone else do something wrong. (and by wrong I don’t mean a different way than I would do them. Wrong in the sense that they’re putting eggshells into their omelets instead of yolks.) I try to take the opportunity to help someone out when they look like they’re struggling, but other times I feel I’m overstepping my bounds if I chime in out of turn. It’s one thing to help when someone can’t figure out the copy machine, but it’s a whole different beast when you want to correct someone who doesn’t think he has a problem.

More than anything, I see this at work in gyms.

I think the weight room exemplifies the way people do things in their jobs, lives and hobbies.

Instead of starting with something that is appropriately challenging, beginners end up trying to bench  300 pounds and wonder why people look at them funny when they have a barbell on their neck.

In our lives, we often want to get things done instead of doing them right. We rush through a project, paper, or assignment, produce garbage results, and then wonder where it all went wrong.

Next time you don’t think the way you do something matters, think about these four reasons why your form is critical.

1. You look funny.

When you’re dropping things, knocking things over, and straining when you shouldn’t have to, it’s clear to those around that it’s your first rodeo.When you aren’t doing something right, you’re going to embarrass yourself. Observe how others are doing things. If you find a better way, great, but don’t short change your work when you think you’ve found a short cut.

2. You’re wasting time.

If you don’t perform lifts properly, you might as well not do them at all. Don’t try to crank out 25 reps in 15 seconds. If you don’t do something right, you’re going to have to redo it. It’s not worth rushing through something to get it done if you’re going to have to go back to it.  Take your time when you’re working on projects or when you’re heading to the gym. Don’t rush through things. Pay attention to the details. Enjoy the experience. Slowing down is going to save you time in the long run.

3. You’re gonna get hurt.

When you’re trying to lift more weight than you’re able to, you’re going to end up dropping it on yourself or pulling a muscle. If you’re in over your head on something, doing it wrong is going to hurt.  The same is true in our work. If you think you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, ask for a “spot.” Don’t be afraid to seek advice when you need it. It will save you from injuries that are tough to recover from.

4. Less is more.

You’re better off doing lifting at a weight you can handle and doing more of it, than trying to max out and collapse in the process. Work your way up to the big projects and tasks. Start small, build your stamina and momentum, and then continue to work your way up. It’s better to do a few things right than a bunch of things wrong.

So how do you fix all of these things?

Slow down. Ask for help. Check in with others to make sure you’re on the right path. Start small, and stay after it. You’ve got what it takes.

Your Two Cents: What areas of your life do you need to improve your form? Where did having bad form hurt you in the past?

I Love the World Cup

I don’t care much for Major League Soccer. I don’t follow the Euro Leagues. I couldn’t even name more than a handful of soccer fútbol players. I haven’t kicked a ball since second grade.

But I stinkin’ love the World Cup.

In 2006 I swore I’d go see it in person the next time around. (I missed that, but I’ll be in Slovenia when they play the US, so I say it’s a close second. See you in 2014?).

I get juiced up for the games. I’ve finally got a handle on the rules (yes, even stoppage time). I even have a vuvuzela I blow during the entire game.

I’ve tried to enjoy watching the games more than once every four years, but it’s like trying to watch Track and Field outside of the Summer Olympics–it’s just not the same.

I think there’s a number of reasons why, but I believe the biggest reason is that I’m spoiled.

As Americans, we get to see the best of the best in all of our major sports. We see the best basketball players, best hockey players, best baseball players, etc. every time we turn on the TV. When I watch anything less than the world’s greatest, I’m bored.

5 Ways to Live A World Cup Life

The World Cup is unreal. It’s something truly special that transcends sports. It’s an event that rivals the Olympics for world competition and patriotism. I think there’s something to be said for living your life like the World Cup. Here’s how.

1. Surround Yourself with the Best of The Best–One thing that makes the World Cup so great is that you’re surrounded by the best of the best. I’ve talked about it before, but who you’re surrounded with greatly influences who you’ll become. Get around World Cup-quality people. They’ll push you to be better than you ever imagined. Make connections, build relationships and spend time with those people, and then help others do the same.
2. Do something Great; Don’t Settle for a Few Little Things–The World Cup happens once every four years. It would lose it’s luster if it was an every year gig. When you’re playing to hold a trophy for four years, there are no holds barred. I think you can do good things every day. But don’t just settle for a string of good things. Strive to take the time to do something great. Don’t just blog every day, string together a book instead. Don’t just volunteer, create a movement. We need good things, but even more, we need great things.
3. Train To Compete–You don’t just wake up one day and start running around for 90 minutes. We see one month of competition but we don’t see the other 47 months of training that go into the World Cup. Train every day. Prepare yourself for the great things you want to do. You’ve got to make a decision every day to get better and have the foresight to see all the effort today will pay off in a big way in the 89th minute.
4. Play Through Injuries–Some days you’re going to get kicked in the ribs. Some times you’re going to have to step out to the sidelines. A whole lot of times, you’re going to have to play through. When someone tears you down, stabs you in the back, leaves you out to dry, play through. Dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and keep at it. It’s not easy, but doing great things never are.
5. Realize You’re A Part of Something Bigger–It’s one of the greatest honors in the world to play for a countries World Cup team, and only a few handfuls get the opportunity. What you do every day isn’t just about you–you’re a part of something bigger. Your job, your influence, your circle of friends, the life you lead is impacting people one way or another. Consider it an honor to be in the position you are with the people you know. Live for something larger than yourself.

Are you living a World Cup life?

Photo provided by IsakAronsson.

Dear journal, Wednesday, June 9, 2010 was the laziest day of my life.

I fully intended on doing a whole lot of things, but simply never got around to it. I chalked it up to rain and Akron, but at the heart of it was a lack of motivation and the comforts of my home.

I simply can’t get things done at home.

Have you ever just been in the zone and cranked out a ton of work in a short period of time? That’s never happened at my house. It’s like a black hole of productivity.

On the other hand, there are places where time flies by and I’m a well oiled machine of making things happen.

Here’s what I’ve found: you’ve got to “find your happy place”.

For me, my happy place is a Starbucks that’s only a mile away from my house. But in terms of productivity, it’s on the other side of the universe.

Coffee shops work for me. I don’t hear the bean grinders or the clanking and hissing of espresso machines. I put my blinders on and get laser-beam focus. Some people can’t take it. The ordering, chatting, laughing, indie music and sipping send them over the edge.

7 Factors

So how do you find your happy place of productivity? Focus on these factors:

1. Comfort. The more comfortable you are, the less likely you are to work fervently. The couch is a bad place, so is a bed. Find a place with a hard wooden chair. Sit up straight. Get after it.

2. Lighting. Get away from fluorescent lights. In a recent study of all the places I’ve ever worked, I found that the glaring lights that burn your retinas make me want to curl up in a ball and cry nine times out of 10. I like places with track lighting with a good amount of natural light. Which leads me to…

3. Windows. I have to have at least one I can look out of. You might prefer a dungeon because you have a tendency to watch every car that drives by when you can see the road. I have to have some sunlight coming in (or lackthereof in Ohio) to focus my thoughts.

4. Distractions. Get away from your normal distractions of television or doing things around the house that you simply use to procrastinate. I have a chronic napping problem that forces me to nap anytime a bed is within 50 yards of me, so I have to get out of the house. Chatting with strangers or bumping into friends in a coffee shop are welcomed distractions for me when they come intermittently, but I can’t escape the wrath of the nap. Figure out what distractions promote and reduce productivity for you and plan accordingly.

5. Internet. I have to get away from it or turn it off for periods of time to accomplish things. You might need to do the same. Starbucks unfortunately only lets you log on for two hours at a time, but it forces me to use my time wisely.

6. Energy. Being around people gets me pumped up. Eating scones gets me juiced too. Maybe it’s being outside or being in a white room for you.

7. Inspiration. Caffeine gets my creative juices flowing. So does people watching. You know where the two intersect. Decide what things inspire you and find where you can get them to intersect. Go there.

What type of environment do you work best in? Where do you go to make things happen?

We’ve all had days (sometimes weeks, months, maybe even years) when we’re drained from the work we do. We feel it doesn’t matter. It seems it’s not making an impact.

Work we were once passionate about becomes work we dread.

Things we loved doing become tiring, dull and cumbersome.

Take heart my friends; the work you do matters.

Why Does It Matter?

Whether you’re a janitor or the CEO of a company. If you’re moving boxes or flying planes or teaching kids or blogging or just being a student, what you do matters.

Here’s why: because what you’re doing is impacting other people. I can’t think of a single isolated occupation that in some way doesn’t affect other people.

If you’re an accountant, someone is relying on you for accurate numbers.
A salesman? Someone is relying on you for quality service and product that solves problems.
Janitor? Clean rooms.
Mathematician? The fundamentals of numbers that affect our lives every day.

“Seeing” The Results

We’re not all blessed to physically see the direct results of our efforts on the people we’re impacting, but here are a few lenses to look through to truly understand the fruits of your labor.

1. Direct. This is the most obvious indicator of making a difference. People are impacted from your work while you’re with them. You  teach a lesson or give a talk and you can see people changed. You encourage someone or uplift them through what you’re doing, and it makes a noticeable difference right away. Direct interaction is the easiest way to see your work make an impact.
2. Experiential. Your work gives someone an experience. Think of the engineer who designs a roller coaster or the director who makes a movie. They might not be there when it’s happening, but they can know that their work will impact people down the line. Think what the finished product of your labor means to the end consumer.
3. Indirect. This is a more difficult scenario to envision. These are the effects we often overlook. Envision a maid. Her job is to clean. There’s rarely direct interaction with anyone, so it’s easy to think that dusting and sweeping isn’t making a difference. Now envision a traveler that’s had a long week. They arrive in a spotless, organized, inviting room that was just what they needed for a pick me up. When you take pride in the work you do, even if it doesn’t involve direct human interaction, you’re making an impact.
4. Solutions. If you’re an inventor, think of creating a product that makes life easier. Think beyond the profits, beyond the shipping and selling. Think of the end consumer, and how much easier their life is if they can find their lost dog with GPS or read a book while being covered with a blanket with sleeves. If you’re a programmer, think of how much fixing a tiny, annoying glitch will impact users. When you’re fixing things, no matter how small they may seem, you’re solving people’s problems.
5. Paid Forward. When the work you do has a domino effect that you can’t see or envision, think of how it’s helping people impact others. Just like when you hold an elevator door for someone, and that person in turn helps someone carry their groceries in, and that person helps a little old lady cross the street, and so on down the line. You have no idea what a simple seminar or sermon, a roller-coaster ride, a clean room, or a new product could do to someone. Know that when you’re helping those people, they’ll want to continue to spread the love. Never underestimate the power of taking pride in your work.

Your work influences more people than you think. Don’t let them down.

The “Like” Problem

Imagine witnessing a friend do something absolutely awe-inspiring.

They caught a fly ball that was unreachable.
They jumped over a river.
They kickflipped over a shed.
They disapproved E=MC².
They shed light onto an idea you never understood before.
They gave you a new perspective that changed your views.

After any of the above, imagine just throwing them a “Thumbs up”.

No comment. No reaction. You simply stare at them like a hitchhiker.

Absurd. Ridiculous. You’d never think of doing that.

But we do it every single day on Facebook.

Someone posts a fantastic picture. Click. “Jordan Shirkman likes this”.

“I just finished a marathon!” Click.
“My wife and I just found out we’re having a baby!” Click.
“I was just elected President of the United States!” Click.

Liking is downright offensive. It says,

“What you did is cool, funny, entertaining or remarkable, but certainly not worthy of a comment or my congratulations, input or thoughts.”

Like Ruins

It dilutes the quality of what someone has done.

Likes get no response. They require no action. They add nothing to the conversation.

Liking is lazy. It’s worthless. It adds no value. If you like something, tell us why. Anyone can click a button. Few put in the effort to say why.

Retweets Are Noise

Anyone can retweet a post on Twitter. Few take the effort to add a sentence or two and pose a question at the bottom of a post.

The author may appreciate you linking to their post, but in my experience it has very little effect on overall page views. In fact, my most retweeted post ever had less clicks than posts that had no retweets at all.

Linking and liking don’t help ideas spreads: discussion does.
Spark something up.
Poke the fire.
Fan the flame.
Don’t just look stare at it; show someone where it is and tell them what you think about it.

The Fix

Stop liking. Start commenting.
If you are a chronic “liker”, it’s not too late to change things.

Take a moment, move your hand away from the mouse, and think through what someone has posted, created, photographed, or joined. Tell them why it’s great they did that or how much you appreciate it. Don’t just like it. Tell them why you love it.

The “Like Less, Love More” Challenge

Here’s my commitment: I won’t tweet, post or publish a single link to a blog without commenting first.

Yes, it will take more time. It might mean I’ll share less links. But the ones I do share will show up with my opinion, and they will add more value to the blogger and those in the comment community.

(As an aside, I think posting a comment before a retweet is okay, but I think taking the time to comment in addition is significantly more valuable.)

The advantages of the “Like Less, Love More” movement are monumental:

More interaction.
Real discussion.
Deeper relationships.
True value.
Better community.

And so on.

Will you join me in this? Will you stop just liking and retweeting and start engaging, asking questions and commenting on blogs?

P.S. Don’t you dare like this post or retweet it without commenting =)

Photo provided by LlGC ~ NLW

You know that feeling after your payment has been processed for an As Seen On TV product that you can’t get the money for shipping back on? You just got a box on your doorstep with a Slap Chop that didn’t change your life and you found out the billow pad they made your Snuggie out of gives you a rash?

It’s deflating.

Overhyped Advertising + Underdelivered Product Quality = Vows Against TV Products and Nightmares About Billy Mays.

In ReWork by the founders of 37 Signals Jason Fried and David Hansson there is a blurb on being “At Home Good”. Essentially, it’s the idea that a product that may not be as flashy as others when you first come across it, but after spending time with that product, you can’t help but realize how remarkable it is.

When a product doesn’t deliver and is just bought on the basis of sketchy marketing, it’s simply in-media good. It seems good when the media presents it the first time around, but when it comes down to it, it’s more smoke and mirrors than quality.

Now apply this principal to people.

Ask Yourself…
When someone meets you, do you wow them with a facade but fail to be genuine?
Do you have an act, build yourself up, or put on a show that works on the surface?
Now when they get home and think back to your encounter, are they still impressed or do they feel like you just berated like you’re on the campaign trail?
Are you connecting with people or are you marketing yourself as something else?
Are you engaging, being truly interested in others, or do you just seem like a good deal before someone walks away?
Are you talking more than you should? Are you listening to what they have to say or just planning your next canned response?

Don’t advertise. Don’t project a false persona. Let your true personality shine through–imperfections and all. Get vulnerable. Be honest about your weaknesses. Be real with people.

No one is looking for perfect packaging on the outside only to find an empty box upon further inspection.

Be someone who makes people think when they get home, “There’s more to that person than meets the eye.” Walk the talk.

Photo provided by michale.

Each and every day bad decisions are made. Most of the time, you realize it’s bad in retrospect. A lot of times, you probably don’t.

So what is this bad decision you don’t know you’re making? The sunk cost decision.

Sunk cost is one of the most commonly referred to economic principles. It’s a cost that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered. Think of it as a non-refundable deposit. You’ve already fronted the resources, and there is no getting them back.

People make poor decisions because of sunk costs. Wikipedia provides a fantastic example:

“In the case of the movie ticket, the ticket buyer can choose between the following two end results:
1. Having paid the price of the ticket and having suffered watching a movie that he does not want to see, or;
2. Having paid the price of the ticket and having used the time to do something more fun.”

In both cases, the ticket has already been paid for. There is no getting your money back. So the rational thing to do, when taking into account sunk costs, is to choose option two so you suffer in only one way (money spent on the ticket) rather than in two (money spent and time wasted).

The bottom line is don’t let costs in the past affect the future. The future costs and benefits are the only thing that’s relevant.

Alright, so how do we avoid these sunk cost decisions?

1. Don’t look at the past. What you have already spent is irrelevant. You’ve got to forget about it. Look at the future.
2. Evaluate the value. Is what you’re going to spend on something less than or equal to the actual value? Pull the trigger. If not, walk away.
3. Don’t rationalize. “But I already paid X dollars. I might as well pay the rest” Nope. Doesn’t matter. Is it worth more now? No? Move along, friend.
4. It’s not just money. Time is a sunk cost too. Don’t waste more time on something that isn’t going to provide a return or add value.

Your thoughts: Do you struggle with sunk cost decisions? How do you walk away or put things in perspective? What else outside of time and money do you waste in these decisions?

Photo provided by m4roon3d.

The Story

In the 1940s before the invention of the barcode, there was a problem with people switching the sticker price tags of items in retail stores. These half-thieves would pull the price sticker off of a something like a Hershey bar and place it over top of something more expensive. The result? A whole lot of toasters being sold for a nickel and a huge loss for the store.

Along came a a new employee–an undergraduate college student named Sally. Sally had a photographic memory and memorized the prices of all of the items in the store. Then, when someone would pull the switch-a-roo, she’d quickly alert them the item was mismarked, request full payment for the item, and save the store a whole boatload of money.

Sally was paid four times more than the rest of the cashiers, which was undoubtedly a drop in the bucket for the store as it saved plenty of money from Sally’s useful skill. The management was grieved when Sally moved away for law school.

What Sally did was take advantage of her capabilities. She capitalized on being better than anyone else at her job. Sally was a linchpin.

How To Be Paid Four Times More

So you want to be like Sally? Here are my tips.

1. Use your skills. If you’re a great communicator, don’t settle for cranking out spreadsheets. If you have an analytical mind, make sure you doing projects where you can identify problems and come up with solutions. You have to do what you have a skill set for.

2. Forget your weaknesses. What I didn’t tell you was that Sally was a horrible writer. Luckily she didn’t try to be an author or copy editor. She just used what was in her bag of tricks. Forget about getting better at X, Y or Z just because someone else can do it better than you. Find something you can do better than anyone else, and focus all of your attention on that.

3. Find an employer that appreciates your talents. Most people don’t get to do their best work every day. Tell your employer what you are good at. Fight to do those things. If they don’t let you, find a new employer.

What are you doing to set yourself apart from you peers? Are you using your skills and doing your best work every day?

Photo provided by Sylvar.

When you’re in a group of people and you’re being chased by a bear, how fast do you have to run to make sure you won’t get eaten?

Faster than the slowest person.

Now consider the process of being picked from a pool of applicants for a job, the process of gaining a new customer, or being the winning contestant on The Bachelorette.

To win the job, win the customer, or win the “dream” woman, you have to outrun all of the other contestants to survive. Lucky for you, they all run at the same speed.

The vast majority of people run at the same speed as everyone else.

Anyone can submit a resume online.
Anyone can spam a customer.
Anyone can apply to be on a “reality” TV show.

None of those things take more than the click of a button. So, if anyone can do what you’re doing, why do you think you deserve it?

Common answers most often included:
“My resume is solid.”
“Our price is reasonable.”
“My personality is fun.”

There are a whole lot of solid, reasonable, fun people out there, and they’re all saying the same thing as you.

Here’s the reality check. You are not entitled to anything other than a self-directed pat on the back for being just like everyone else.

If you want to stand out, if you want to get the job, get the customer, or get the girl, you’ve got to be willing to run faster than the rest.

If you want the job, you’ve got to make a phone call, send along three sheets of outstanding recommendations, direct HR to your personal blog, and show them out-of-this-world projects to wow a future employer and literally show them what makes you better.

If you want the customer, you have to be an over-the-top advocate for them, provided an unbelievable service, show the value of what you’re doing, and give out the contact information for current clients that will pass along glowing reports of how unbelievable your product is.

If you want the significant other you’ve got to bring a dozen roses on the first date, send a thank you card for something little, be willing to be authentic, and show you’re not like the rest of the world through your actions and not just through what you say.

Mediocrity will get you eaten by the bear. Remarkability will allow you to watch everyone else get eaten.

(Photo provided by Alan Vernon.)

We’ve all had days when we aimlessly wander. We’ve got nothing to do, no direction, and no motivation to accomplish anything.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think a day of rest each week is critical, but every day can’t be a sabbath.

The thing about each day you wake up is that it’s more important than yesterday and tomorrow. The past can’t be changed and the future isn’t guaranteed. All you can do is make the most of what you’ve been given.

The 11 Things

1. Prioritize. Before you go to bed or immediately after you wake up, decide what’s most important for you to do that day. Pick three things, your most important tasks (MITs, borrowed from Leo Babauta’s “The Power of Less”), and make sure you take care of them. I’ve noted this principal before, and here I am saying it again–it’s incredibly effective.

2. Encourage. A day that matters more isn’t all about you. Give someone a call, send them a text or email, write on their wall, tweet them, or write them a hand written thank you note (yes, people still do that) and tell them you’re thinking about or praying for them. It’s unbelievably how much people appreciate things like that. Simply tell them you’re thankful for their friendship.

3. Declutter. Get rid of things you don’t need, don’t use or don’t want. Clutter distracts you, stresses you out, and more than anything wastes space. Clean out your closet, empty your desk, give some things away to people who need them more than you. I promise that a weight will be lifted.

4. Do something creative. Read, write, play guitar, have a chat with someone, ideate. Even if you aren’t “the creative/artistic type” pick up a novel, read a chapter or two and soak it in.

5. Clean. Once you’ve decluttered, this will be a whole lot easier. Dust, clean the windows, wash the dishes, go to the car wash, and take a shower if you haven’t in a while. You’ll just feel better (and your mom and dad…err…roommates will up your allowance….appreciate it).

6. Set goals. Decide something you want to accomplish by the end of the week, end of the month, end of the year or any other time frame you decide on.

7. Reflect. Look at all you’ve done. Analyze a situation or conversation that impacted you. Be thankful for all you have. Count your blessings. Be grateful for your accomplishments. During all of that reflecting, make sure you take some time to journal and write all those things down.

8. Exercise. Of all the things on this list, this one has the most immediate impact on your sense of accomplishment for the day. Once you get out of bed, put on your tennis shoes and make a move towards the gym, it’s not so bad. You’ll be glad you did it.

9. Eat healthy. This is a simple way to get more energy and feel the power of overcoming Twinkies and french fries. Just the idea of eating some vegetables should make you feel like you’ve done something.

10. Go out of your way to help someone. Remember how it’s not all about you? Hold open a door for someone carrying a bunch of groceries in your apartment, or, better yet, help them carry the milk yourself. If you see someone on the highway broken down (and they aren’t wearing a hockey/ski mask) pull over and see if they need help. It’s crazy what an impact you can have with just a few minutes.

11. Finish something you’ve been putting off. This blog post is a perfect example. I’ve been meaning to write this for sometime, and here it is. My day already matters more. Dust off that project, call up that friend, cross the t’s and dot the i’s and close the chapter on that book.

In the world of work, everyone chastises procrastinators.[tweetmeme source=”jshirk.com” only_single=false http://jshirkman.wordpress.com/2010/04/21/http://jshirkman.wordpress.com/2010/04/21/procrastination-isnt-a-dirty-word/]They’re lazy. They wait until the last minute. They put things off. They’re the ones stapling the paper, adding the last image to the PowerPoint, or making that phone call seconds before the deadline.

Photo provided by http://www.flickr.com/photos/ktiqui/

But if they get it done…does it matter? The person who finishes something weeks ahead of time and the person who finishes it just in time, if the quality of work is the same, are no different. They finished the job. They met the deadline. They shipped. Now tell me, where’s the issue?

I believe there’s a negative connotation with the word, and I’m here to debunk it. For me, procrastination is more or less more effective time management. At the 11th hour, I don’t have any choice but to make things happen. I can’t tweet, browse Facebook, or read more blogs. I have to do the work. I don’t stress about it, I just do it.

I don’t miss deadlines. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. But, by all common definitions of the word, I’m a procrastinator.

Webster says this about procrastinating:

to put off intentionally and habitually
or
to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done

Intentionally putting something off. That has to be bad.

But hold on, let’s look at an example. Say I have procrastinated and haven’t finished a paper that’s due tomorrow afternoon. Then, a friend I haven’t seen in quite some time comes to town unexpectedly. Realizing what’s more important, I quickly decide to intentionally put off my work until tomorrow when I’ll still have time to get it done.

Is that wrong?

Ok, how about more insight on the word. Wikipedia tells me:

The word itself comes from the Latin word procrastinatus: pro- (forward) and crastinus (of tomorrow)

Forward tomorrow. That doesn’t sound so bad. As long as you’re moving in the right direction, is it so bad if it’s tomorrow?

Personally, I work better under pressure. When I know the deadline is looming, I get a boost of energy, focus, and drive.

Procrastination isn’t a dirty word. It’s a different approach. It might not be for you, it’s certainly not to be abused, but it is far from a bad thing.

Many of you know I had an incredible opportunity to attend an invitation-only seminar by Seth Godin this morning.

There will undoubtedly tons of posts to follow on this unbelievable experience, but here’s my initial reaction and my baptism into video blogging.

Oh, and some breaking news about Seth’s future.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV0w4pNAwFc

Economy of Abundance

We live in an economy of abundance. In the United States, the vast majority of people have all of their physical needs met. Many have disposable income, some have so much they aren’t sure what to do with it.

Even in the midst of economic downturns, companies like Exxon Mobil and Wal-Mart break profit records year after year. We have shifted from an economy reliant on production and manufacturing during the Industrial Revolution to a services economy chock full of consumers. No longer can this nation rely on manufacturing to provide jobs; we must now provide world-class services to compete in a global market.

The only way we can compete is through superior sales and marketing; in fact, our free-market economy relies on it. The market has pushed the price of production lower and lower, but the amount consumers and businesses are willing to spend on service that goes above and beyond, service that reaches out and makes a connection, service that builds relationships that better the consumer will continue to be more valuable.

Sales and marketing is critical in this economy. Consumers are no longer interested in what is sold to the masses. They are looking for customization, superior service, and sales professionals that are willing to go the extra mile to help them find what they need. This economy is built for those people who are ready to passionately pursue sales and marketing and change the stigma of salespeople from “interrupting, frustrating, and threatening” to “helpful, necessary, and caring.” This economy provides an unbelievable opportunity to take advantage of a shift that has been happening since the birth of this nation.

Three Eras

Our economy has shifted from the days when Henry Ford created the assembly line and the Model-T in The Age of Cost. During the late 1700s through the early 1900s, consumers had little choice. Ford was famously quoted as saying, “Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.” This was an age of cost reduction and mass production. Mass production was the fundamental this nation was built on, but we’ve since significant shifts over the past century. Developing countries began to take advantage of lower labor cots and an abundant labor pool, which meant the United States had to shift from cost reduction to quality improvements.

As The Age of Cost began to fade away, our economy shifted to The Age of Quality. Six-sigma and lean processes, largely popularized by Japanese automaker Toyota, began to shape the American economy. This was not an easy transition for our country, as we began losing ground in the manufacturing realm in the 1980s as other nations experienced industrial transformations and began perfecting processes that started in the United States. Quality continued to become more important than cost, and then our economy shifted once again.

Today, we’re in The Age of Customization. Consumers want a quality product, but they want a product that is just right for them. Gone are the days of “any color as long as its black.” Consumers want to stand out in the crowd and have the latest and greatest in technology. Our cell phones no longer cut it just making calls—they must be able to surf the web and download emails . Our cars have to have just the right amount of cup holders and frills but be at a price we decide is acceptable. Consumers want to show their personality through the products and services they purchase, and the sales and marketing worlds have a bigger role than ever in helping consumers find what they are looking for.

Information Overload

We as consumers are looking for something different, but it is not always easy to find. In the Internet Age, we have become overwhelmed with information. Interruption marketing no longer works. Consumers have the choice of hundreds of televisions channels and hundreds of millions of web sites. Advertisers can no longer just place an ad on local television channels and expect to command the attention of their audience. Companies now need to gain the permission of their customers in order to sell them a product.

So, what can companies do now that they can no longer interrupt consumers with ads when they are watching television or browsing the web? They can provide unbelievable products and services through sales and marketing to garner the attention and respect of consumers. Salespeople and marketers have the power to truly help consumers find what they are looking for, to trouble shoot their problems and to build deep, true connections through the services they provide in this free market economy.

Transactional relationships are fading away. Consumers have too many choices to settle for an ordinary or mediocre service. They are looking for something incredible, unbelievable and something that makes their lives better or easier. Marketing that involves asking consumers for their information rather than sending them spam or interrupting them when you cannot add value is the future. Relational selling will continue to take precedence over transactions. Sales and marketing has the power to completely change the way business is done in the next decade.

Realizing The Importance

It is critical for those of us in the marketing and sales arena to take advantage of this opportunity. Consumers are looking for something different, something better than average, something that will change things—and we must be ready to act. Our nation depends on salespeople and marketers who can provide for the global economy. The only way our nation can continue be one of the most influential in the world is to respond to this dramatic shift in the economy. So how do we do it? There are three things we must do.

First, we must understand the consumer. Consumers are not always looking for the cheapest item. Many are looking for an experience, a relationship, a calming wave of confidence in the purchases they are making. We must be completely honest and continue to shed the stigma of businesses trying to take advantage of consumers as movies like Glengarry Glen Ross highlighted. We must continue to care about consumers and put their needs above our own motives.

Second, we must adapt to change. We can no longer settle for what worked in the past. Salespeople are no longer pushy, they are problem solvers; they are no longer corrupt, they are consultants; they are no longer out to make a buck, they are out to make things better. It is critical to realize our history and see how our economy has evolved over the years, but we must look to the future and adapt to what consumers expect.

Finally, we must strive for excellence. We cannot slack in any of our duties. We have to be over the top advocates for perfection. We can no longer settle on making consumers think they need what we have to offer—we must show them how we can add value to their lives.

Conclusion

Sales and marketing is critical in free-market economy. Our economy in the United States no longer relies on production, but instead relies on services and consumers. To ensure the success of this great nation in the future, we must act honestly, act in excellence, and most of all, act in the favor of the consumer. There has never been a better time to be in sales and marketing—the choice is the consumers but the opportunity is ours.

Photos provided by:imranzafar75, starrett, and Francisco Diez

I was talking with a friend last week who was sending out “email blasts” to clients for a part-time job. [tweetmeme source=”jshirk.com” only_single=false http://jshirkman.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/n0-youre-spamming/]

He asked for insight about a certain way of following up with someone, so for background, I asked how he got the names of the clients.

“Our company buys lists of email addresses and then we ‘email blast’ them and ask if they need help with social media”

“Oh yeah, how successful is that?”

“Not very. We get a few out of every hundred to reply, even less than that are interested.”

“What type of research are you doing–are you googling them to see what social media they are already using?”

“No, no. We’re ‘email blasting’. I don’t waste my time on that.”

“How successful did you say it was?”

Email blasting is a fancy word for spamming. Not only are you spamming, but you don’t even have anything to make your spam enticing like “I saw you just got started on Twitter…” or “I was looking at your Facebook Fan Page and…”

Don’t think that you have to be buying email lists to be spamming people. Any time you’re interrupting someone who didn’t ask for it, whether or not you’re adding value, you’re spamming. If you’re wasting someones time because you’re not delivering what you promised, you’re spamming.

In fact, if you are…
interrupting someone who didn’t ask for it
wasting someone’s time because you’re not delivering what you promised
distracting someone from their work
giving a lecture that doesn’t connect with your audience
not adding value
emailing without permission
sending a resume without a phone call
contacting someone without a required action follow up or providing useful information
…you’re spamming.

Don’t believe the lie that you’re just doing your job. Refuse to spam. Insist on adding value.

Last week in one of my classes, a professor stopped class for a public service announcement. He said:

“I’m not going to learn your names this quarter. I’ll call you ‘this gentleman’ and ‘that lady’, but I won’t learn your name. In fact, the only way I’ll know your name is if you get in trouble. So it’s better if I don’t learn it.”

Thank you for the disclaimer, prof. You’ve just earned my divided attention and haven’t garnerned an ounce of respect from that statement.

I think I get a bit more fired up than others about learning names, but I have a low tolerance for the I’m-not-good-at-learning-names cop-out. More than anything, it’s a respect issue. By saying you aren’t going to learn my name, you’re saying, “I don’t respect you enough to put in the time and effort required to complete a simple task that is critical in communication.”

Sure, there are40 people in the class, but it’s not a 400 person lecture hall. Is it difficult to learn everyone’s name? Absolutely. Is it ok not to try? No way.

So, prof, I appreciate your honesty, but your blunt disregard is offensive.

If you’re bad at names, get better. I’m by no means a professional at this, but it’s something I’ve worked on because it gives instant credibility and makes connecting with people even easier.

Here are five tips to learn names and make an impression on your new-found friends.

1. Don’t think about introducing yourself. When you’re in a huge group of new people, it’s so easy to think about what you’re going to say when you introduce yourself. I promise you won’t forget your name and favorite hobby, birthplace, or fun fact about yourself. When I meet someone I don’t even think about saying my name00ou’ll never forget that. Focus completely on who they are.

2. Say it back. This has helped me tremendously. When you meet someone, shake their hand, ask them their name, and say it back to them. Having their name come out of your mouth dramatically increases your chance of remembering it.

3. Ask how to spell it. If it’s a unique name or a common one with many spellings, ask how they spell it. It will help you visualize it in your mind.

4. Associate a trait with it. Michael Scott does an absolutely terrible job with this in “Lecture Circuit Part 1″ in the The Office when he remembers a guy named Marks name by saying, “Baldy. Your head is bald. It is hairless. It is shiny. It is reflective, like a mirror. M. Your name is Mark.” I don’t suggest going that route, but when you can focus on a personality or physical trait of a person to remember her name, it helps a ton.

5. Ask again. If you don’t remember someones name, just ask. The sooner the better. Ask someone else who does know it or ask the person directly. I have way more respect for someone who asks me my name over someone who calls me guy, man, dude, or bro because he doesn’t remember.

Call this rant a pet peeve. Say I’m over reacting. Call me out if you disagree. My only request? Use my name.

Photo provided by quinnanya.

Your thoughts: Is this a big deal? Do you get frustrated by this? Is my professor warranted?

[tweetmeme source=”jshirk.com” only_single=false http://jshirkman.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/fools-never-start/]
We’ve all heard the cliche “Fools rush in (where angels fear to tread).”

It seems like sound advice, but I feel all too often “Fools never start.” We calculate, analyze, triple check, and stir over. We hypothesize, procrastinate, dream and don’t take action.

Photo provided by http://www.flickr.com/photos/jayneandd/

The problem all too often isn’t rushing in, it’s failing to start.

Fools never start…
…taking chances when they have a hunch.
…reaching out when they know they should.
…asking why when things seem amiss.
…risking it all and figuring out the details later when pursuing a passion.
…leading because they feel they are unqualified.
…expressing their ideas because they are afraid they’ll be stolen.
…rejecting the status quo for what they know is better.
…taking steps to make change.
…accepting responsibility and refusing to blame others for circumstances.

Don’t be afraid to rush in. Take a chance. Make a stand. Refuse to settle.

Fools aren’t the ones failing. Fools are the ones who are afraid to fail.

Your thoughts: Is “fools never start” really accurate?

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I’m currently enjoying a week of sun and fun in Fort Myers, Florida for Spring Break. It’s been fantastic, but I just can’t seem to get anything done. I know, I should be enjoying by vacation (and don’t worry party patrol, I am!), but I still have a number of things I’d like to accomplish this week. Unfortunately, a lack of motivation is stifling all productivity.

Photo provided by http://www.flickr.com/photos/ericmcgregor/

Whether you’re on the beach or at the office, you probably have some things you’d today. Emails to send, books to read, people to follow up with, and projects to work on.

We all undoubtedly have a full plates, but we often rationalize a few things right off the edge, especially when we’re laying in bed in the morning or playing our eighth game of shuffleboard with retired people.

“I’ll work out later”
“I’ll start that project tomorrow.”
“I don’t have to get that done today.”

Why is it that our to-do list is so easily rationalized to a tomorrow list?

For me, it’s a lack of motivation.

7 Chains Locking Up Motivation

These are the top seven chains that hide away your motivation in a dank, dark cellar, and how you can snap them right off like a hot knife through butter.

1. Rest. Either too much or too little slurps motivation right out of your body. It’s when I have slept too long, napped too much, and laid around too often that I’m unmotivated. Even when you have a chance to sleep in, don’t sleep longer than an hour more than you usually do. For me, seven hours is just right, but over eight and my day is shot.

2. No sense of urgency. Don’t put yourself in the mindset that you can do something tomorrow. Act is if it must get done today. When you view things through an urgent lens, you get motivated and things get done.

3. Distractions. If you’re feeling unmotivated, do not, under any circumstances, let yourself sit down in front of a TV or a computer with nothing to do but surf. Time flies when you’re consuming media you don’t need. Say no to the Reality TV and the open web when you need to be motivated.

4.Undefined goals. It’s tough to feel motivated to do anything if you don’t have an end in mind. Set some goals, reread goals you currently have, and then strive for them. A lack of goals leads to a lack of progress.

5. Eating habits. It’s crazy to think that the food you eat makes you less motivated, but think back to every single Thanksgiving in the history of America. No one does anything post feast but lay around and watch football. Now I love doing that just as much as the next guy, but hold back on the carbo-loading unless you’re running a marathon and eat some brain food like fish and peanuts if you want to get motivated. Bad food leads to bad results on your to-do list.

6. Too little to do. This is the one that gets me every time. If I have one thing to do for the whole day, it will take me the whole day (at least) to get it done. On the other hand, if I have twenty things to do, I’ll crank them all out with no problem because I know I’ve got so much to do. If you really don’t have more you have to get done, put learning a new language, reading a book or playing an instrument on your list to motivate you to accomplish more.

7. Lack of structure. I like being a free bird just as much as anyone, but when you have no structure in your day at all, you’re inevitably going to float through the day without any direction. Set time constraints, schedule a meeting or two, and decide on personal deadlines to finish things throughout the day to feel like you’re accomplishing things and increase your motivation.

Your thoughts: What is keeping you from being motivated? Does your list of motivation muzzlers look like mine? I’d love to hear how you overcome your lack of motivation!

I rarely condone taking the advice of musicians who repeatedly make terribly inappropriate and outlandish comments and often make fools of themselves, but Kanye West John Mayer used the stage as a soapbox Friday night in Columbus, and I agreed with him nearly whole-heartedly.

A calling is a calling because it comes from a voice far away. You have to make sacrifices. You’ll have to give things up, but following your calling is the most important thing you can do.

This is most certainly a paraphrase because John took the liberty of rambling and all but worshipping his guitar, but at the very core of his message, I agree with him.

Photo provided by http://flickr.com/photos/wili

Defining a Calling

I completely believe we’re all called to a specific purpose (and even further, from a Voice far away). We’ve all been blessed with different opportunities, different gifts, and different circumstances to follow our calling.

The world often tries to tell us what we were made to do…
“You’re tall, you should play basketball.”
“You’re smart, you should be a teacher.”
“You’re a great actor, you should be a pro wrestler.”

But what you’re called to do is much greater than one or two of your attributes. A calling is something much deeper, much more profound than a hunch or suggestion based on what the world sees. A calling is something that consumes your entire life. Something that forces you to forgo things others wouldn’t dream of giving up–to do things that from the outside others would consider crazy but from the inside makes perfect sense.

Refuse to let others define your calling for you. Listen to the voice far off in the distance. Squint to narrow in on the blurry future that’s just out of focus. Find your calling. Now, follow it.

Following a Calling

When you truly follow your calling, the world is a better place. Things won’t always be easy, but you’ll know you’re making a difference, you’re doing the right thing, you’re making efforts to help people with what you’ve been given. You’re giving your art to the world through your calling.

The problem is that all too often we trade in our calling for settling. Too many of us settle for ‘just fine’ when we should be striving for ‘called to’.

You’re not a writer, you were called to spreading ideas that challenge people’s thinking. You’re not a musician, you were called to making a sound that excites, inspires, and challenges people. You’re not a missionary, you were called to changing lives through your interactions with people across the world.

A calling is always bigger than you. Following your calling inspires others to follow theirs. It’s truly the most important thing you can do.

Personal Calling

I’m still trying to discern my calling. I pray about it, think about it, and aspire to discover it each day. Right now, I’m doing anything I can that helps other people in any capacity through:

Blogging: It’s not for me, it’s for you. If any one of my posts makes you view things differently, inspires or motivates, fires you up, makes life easier, more exciting or enjoyable in any capacity, every ounce of effort I’ve put into this makes it all worth it.

Interactions: I’ve failed to do it effectively lately, but one of my favorite questions to ask people is “How can I make your life easier?” Rarely do people give me anything tangible, but I do whatever I can to fulfill a request if when I get a direct response.

Giving: I give my time to people I think I can help. I give my talents to organizations I think can use them. I give my funds to people and movements that are making a difference.

A calling is the most important thing you can follow. Find yours and give everything up for it.

Your thoughts: What do you feel you are called to do? What have you given up to fulfill it? How are you trying to find your calling today?

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They say winning isn’t everything. I completely disagree.

If you aren’t winning, then you’re losing. And from my experience and deep amount of research: No one likes to lose.

Can you learn from it? Sure. But a “loss” isn’t always a loss–many times it’s just a situation needing redefined.

So let’s clearly define a victory to clear up the confusion of losing.

Photo provided by svilen001: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/svilen001

There are three ways I see in defining a win:

1. Direct Victory—Taking the gold medal, winning the blue ribbon, hitting the game winning jump shot to beat the other team. It’s the most obvious type of victory. It’s the one everyone talks about at the water cooler. The one that gets you on the front page, the interview on The Today Show, and the Gatorade bath.

It’s a great feeling. It’s the win we’re always chasing. It isn’t, however, always the most important or the most rewarding. It is, however, the type of victory that’s most talked obvious.

2. Moral Victory—It’s the extreme underdog playing their hearts out against the perennial powerhouse, not making a single mistake but just not having enough “umph” to get it done. You play a flawless game, give 110% and still come up short. You did your best, you wouldn’t change a thing about your approach, you get an A for effort. Maybe you didn’t get a chance to climb to the top of the podium, but you exceeded expectations. You went further than anyone thought you would, you gave it your all and you deserve more than a pat on the back.  Pick your head up, get that dirt off your shoulder, and keep at it. You did your thing—no one can take that away from you.
3. Alternative Victory—Here’s one that may not be the result of your average game. Let’s take a look at something like the National Collegiate Sales Competition. Your first goal is to win. You’re going to do everything in your power to make that happen. But there are too many external factors to see not walking away with a big fat plaque with your name on it as a loss.If you met great people—that’s a victory. If you networked with companies that are going to sponsor your sales program—that’s a victory. If you bonded with your team—that’s a victory. If you personally developed through the experience—that’s a victory.These aren’t the direct championships anyone ever talks about, but here’s the catch: ten years from now, when you ask someone who won the championship, a handful will remember. When you ask someone about the people met, the opportunities that appeared, the bonding that occurred, and the pivotal moment of exponential personal growth, that is something that you never forget.

Don’t settle for a loss. Just find the victory.
Your thoughts: what are alternative victories you already look for? Are there any other types of victories that don’t fit into these categories?

What are you dreading most today?

Is it that tedious project that’s hanging over your head? Or a mile-high status report for your boss?  Is it getting to the gym?

Whatever it is, do it first. Wake up, hop out of bed, grab your cup of joe and dive in to your worst task. Mark Twain said it best:

“Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

Photo provided by deepinon: http://flickr.com/deepinon

The frog is your worst task. That item on your to-do list that leaves a permanently bad taste in your mouth like you’re four weeks into the Atkins diet. It’s a pain. It’s frustrating. It has to be done. So do it. Right now.

It’s going to be difficult to be motivated, but it will be worse if you wait all day long, dreading it, losing focus because you can’t stop thinking about it. You have to get it done, so why not get through it as soon as possible?

Here are the five best reasons to eat frogs for breakfast:

1. Peace of mind. There’s nothing worse than dwelling on the most painful thing you have to do all day long. You lose focus. You get distracted. You’re more irritable than a snowman in the summer. Don’t let that happen any more. Once you finish the frog, you’ll be much more relaxed.

2. Focus. Early in the morning, before anyone in your house is up or emails are flying in, is a fantastic time to get things done. Even if you aren’t a morning person, you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to get things done (especially tasks you’re dreading) when you aren’t being distracted.

3. Tone for the day. There’s nothing like finishing your worst task and knowing it’s all down hill from there. You’ve accomplished something huge before you’ve even had your mid-morning snack. No matter what you get done for the rest of the day, it has already been crowned a success because you took your biggest issue down to Chinatown.

4. The feeling. The feeling of victory after getting that frog out of the way is indescribable. A weight is lifted off of your shoulders. You’re untouchable. Rainbows will surround you as you prance through a field of daisies. The sooner you get it done, the longer that feeling will last.

5. The taste. Once you get into the habit of doing your worst task first, you’re going to acquire a taste for it. You won’t be able to imagine your days of procrastinating until the 11th hour or your mornings without that feeling of a frog sliding down your throat. Savor the taste of getting that frog down before anything else, and enjoy it for the rest of your waking hours.

Would you rather go to a meeting or a movie?

In a random poll I conduct from time to time in painful meetings, the answer is always unanimously a movie.

Why is that?

Movies are more entertaining. They have more drama and action. They are more engaging.

Meetings are dry, boring, too long, full of updates that could be sent out in emails, and filled with PowerPoint presentations that stun you into submission.

It’s time to start taking over meetings and making them matter.

In reality, they should be 10 times more interesting than movies.

Why? I’m so glad you asked.

You’re just a spectator in a movie. In a meeting, you’re a critical piece in driving the plot.

Movies aren’t relevant to your life. You can’t tell the first person who is about to die in a horror movie, “Don’t go in there!” You can’t tell the dirtball in the romantic comedy not to cheat on his wife. In meetings, you have a voice.

Meetings have consequences. Big decisions that can shape an organization are made in them. These decisions impact the future of your business, the well-being of your family, and the satisfaction of your customers.

This is all great, but what do we do about it?

To make meetings interesting you need two things: drama and structure.

1. Drama

When you’re making a big decision, bring out all of the dirty laundry. Bust out the conflict, make your points and opinions clear, and then make a decision as a group. Don’t hold back, don’t let bitterness undermine future effectiveness. Be a conflict miner–force some disagreement. Temporary unpopularity is better than long-term contempt.

However, once all has been said and the decision has been made, the entire team needs to get behind it. You voiced your concerns, all sides were heard, the best decision with all that was said is made. Get behind the choice, even if it wasn’t necessarily yours. Don’t let the discussion end without making your points.

2. Structure

When you get ready for work, do you tie your tie in the shower or brush your teeth while you’re eating breakfast? Of course not. So why do we think we can do everything in one meeting?

There needs to be a division of meetings. Weekly updates that focus on key tactical issues, monthly strategics that focus on big changes and shifts, and quarterly reviews with high-level vision casting.

These can certainly be adapted to fit your needs, but the bottom line is, all meetings are not created equal, so don’t treat them like they are.

Final Thoughts

Good meetings provide opportunities to improve execution by accelerating decision making and eliminating revisiting.

Bad meetings lead to suffering, anger, lethargy and cynicism.

Take over your meetings. Bring the drama. Set the structure. Enjoy

These concepts have been drawn from Patrick Lencioni’s best seller, “Death by Meeting.” I can’t recommend it highly enough.

In a recent poll, 77 percent of Japanese workers said they expected their boss to have the answer to any of their questions, problems, and concerns that come up at work.

That figure implies a work environment driven by facts and figures, with centralized decision making, little power for entry-level positions, and lots of bureaucracy.

Conversely, 13 percent of Americans expected their boss to know it all.

Photo provided by: Marco Bellucci http://www.flickr.com/photos/marcobellucci/

It means we don’t expect our boss to have all the answers. It means the big kahuna isn’t always the most qualified to attack a problem. It means he or she won’t necessarily the best path to follow when there is a fork in the road.

So why do we act like we can’t make decisions?

We second guess things. We wait for approval on things we already know the answer to. We downplay our ability to think critically.

Here are seven reasons why you’re more qualified than your boss to make tough decisions.

1. You’re closer to the problem. If your customer has a concern, you know him better than your boss does. You intimately know your clients, and interact with them on a regular basis; your boss just hears about them in weekly updates. Do what’s right for your customer–you know them best.

3. It’s faster. If your boss is anything like most of mine have been in the past, they’re extremely busy. They are making higher-level decisions, and they have enough on their plates. It could take weeks to answer a question you have (that you already know the answer to) if you try and run it by your boss first. We live in a speed economy. You don’t have time to wait. Make the decision, move on.

4. You have the information. If you’re a designer, you probably read books or have been trained in design. If you’re a marketer, hopefully you’ve read Seth Godin and other marketing books and blogs. Your boss may be trained in the same area, but more likely she may be more focused on leading people. What’s that mean? it means you have all the latest, greatest information stored up inside your noggin or they are at the tips of your fingers online. You have all you need, now pull the trigger on making a decision.

5. It’s a matter of opinion. There’s not always just one right answer. Your work is not a multiple choice test. Answers to difficult, pressing, tough-to-pinpoint problems are often simply a matter of opinion. Be confident in your answer, back it up with your knowledge, and do what you think is best.

6. You know how your boss thinks. You’ve gone to her before; you’ve seen how she operates. Try approaching a decision from her point of view along with your own. Decide which is the better option, and make the decision based on multiple points of view.

7. You’re prepared. You have the entire back story of the problem you’re facing. You know the ins and outs, every little detail that you might forget to fill your boss in on. You’ve got a 360 degree view of the situation, making you 100 percent qualified to have the final say on which direction to go.

My friend and local Athens celebrity Caleb Troop facetiously told me he’d only follow me on Twitter if I’d provide value to him. He told me, “I want to learn something.”

He’s totally right, but it doesn’t stop with tweets.

Photo provided by *clairity* http://www.flickr.com/photos/clairity/

Shouldn’t every interaction you have with someone be about learning something? When you meet someone for coffee, run into an old friend, or read a blog post, it’s all about learning.

…who someone really is.
…what’s new in your friend’s life.
…how you can be more productive.

Too often we view interaction as a necessary evil. Doing someone a favor. The unfortunate work you have to put in to keep a relationship afloat.

What if we started viewing every interaction with another person as an opportunity to learn?

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Preach it, Ralph.

If we assume every single person has more knowledge about something than us (their own life and experiences, at the bare minimum), we have an incredible opportunity to grow.

View each interaction you have, in person or on the web, as an opportunity to teach and to learn. Provide value to those you’re communicating with, and encourage them to do the same.

Roughly one-fifth of Americans are smokers.

Every time you walk behind one, enter a building where one is lighting up outside, or sit next to one on a bus, you notice.

You smell them. They stand out. You can’t miss them. You can’t ignore them. They are unmistakable. It’s impossible for them to pass by without you noticing them.

Photo provided by saneboy http://flickr.com/photos/saneboy

So why don’t you start smoking?

Don’t go buy a pack of Marlboros. This is a metaphor, my friends. Smoking is doing something different, something noteworthy, something people can’t help but notice.

In this metaphor, we’re under a few assumptions: figurative smoking doesn’t kill you, it doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth, you don’t have to go outside to do it, and it costs you no money.

Why don’t you start doing something worth noticing? Stop letting hurdles, laziness, and the status quo be excuses for blending in.

I’m sorry if I’ve confused you. Maybe this metaphor isn’t working for you. Let’s take it a few steps further and clear the cloud (see what I did there?).

Here’s how figurative smoking is exactly like literal smoking: it’s addicting. Once you start standing out, making a difference, rejecting the norm for something better, you won’t be able to stop. You’ll see the impact on people’s lives, the change in your own life, and the joy that each of the aforementioned will bring you.

Second, it creates a common bond. The figurative smoking room is full of other great people. When you find this group of likeminded, difference-making individuals, you’ll wonder how you ever made it without them.

People will notice. When you start telling people at your job (or college) that a spot at the top of corporate america isn’t your dream, or that you want to work for a non-profit, or that you’re quitting cubicles to follow your passion, you’re going to get everything from high-fives to critics harsher than Simon Cowell. People who don’t smoke don’t like the way it smells. Don’t expect them to understand. Be cordial, and pray that someday they come visit you in the smoker’s lounge.

So, when are you going to stop blending in and start smoking?

I want to go get a job in a profession I’m not really crazy about, suffer for eight to 10 years, and then I want to start my own business and do something I really love when I’m in a more difficult position to take chances, most likely when I have a spouse and kids.

I ask a lot of people what they want to do with their lives. Most of the people I know who are planning on pursuing a career in the business field give me a response like the one above (at least that’s what I hear).

Photo provided by aussiegall http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/

Why suffer? What makes you think you aren’t prepared to start a company right now (especially if you have an idea for one)?

We’ve been brainwashed into thinking corporate america is the only way, failing is the worst thing that can happen, and that if we wait to pursue our passions we’ll be better off. It’s just not right.

If you have passion to help people, start a non profit. Scope out the Pepsi Refresh project to get a grant and make it happen.

If you want to start a coffee shop, talk to local owners, ask them how they did it, do your research, and work so hard you can barely stand to find someone who believes in you and has the money to make it happen.

Before you settle for a job that you won’t be satisfied or challenged in, ask yourself one question: what’s keeping me from doing what I love today?

If you love consulting, start doing it for free. Help out a local business. Add as much value as you can, and then let the word spread. Give a gift, and don’t worry about the money right now. Don’t quit your day job today, but take steps so that you in the future, your passion is your day job.

In 10 years, it will be too late. You’ll be tired. Burnt out. Worn down from the system. You’ll have a husband or a wife to take care of. A minivan full of kids to drive to soccer practice.

Don’t let the future be an excuse to settle for the status quo today.

If you want to do what you love, it has to be today. The future is in your hands and the world is ready for change. What’s stopping you?

I’ve never had a perfect blog post.

When I post something, I assume it’s perfect. Then I re-read it, scoff at the glaring errors, and hack away at it like I’m a rainforest tour guide. Reword. Re-edit. Follow up. And then it’s done.

Until I find another error. Rinse and repeat.

Photo provided by cauchisavona: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cheekyneedle/

That’s what’s great about something dynamic like a blog—you can change it whenever you need to fix something.

Do you know what’s an even more dynamic piece of art that’s totally, 100 percent editable?

Your life.

You can’t take back things once you’ve said them, but you can apologize when you screw something up. Strive for the best you can on the first pass. Think before you speak, but don’t think you won’t make mistakes.

Why are we preconditioned to think everything we produce has to be perfect? We’re not the Mona Lisa. We’re more like a graffiti wall in a constant state of editing.

Each and every day we make decisions we wish we could take back. Say things we shouldn’t have. And then we go back and edit

There’s  no reaching perfection here on Earth. You’ve got to put your best foot forward, and do whatever you can to give your best effort on your first attempt.

It won’t be perfect. You’ll have glaring errors in your work, your relationships, your life. And then you edit.

If you approached every day as if you had to live mistake free, there’d be no sense in getting out of bed.

Live your life. Do your best on the first pass. Feel free to make your mistakes. Always be willing to edit.

Do you love everything you do each day? I hope you do, but it’s unlikely.

Now, if you don’t love what you’re doing, why don’t you change it?

Photo provided by 00hCaffiene http://www.flickr.com/photos/unmundane/

You’ve only got 24 hours to make things happen each day, so why waste your time doing something you’re not passionate about?

Is it because there’s an end in mind? If you hate school, do you suck it up because you think you need an education to get a “good” job (one that you might dislike even more than school, but that you go to because all the cool kids are doing it)? Or is it because someone told you the choice isn’t yours?

If you’re doing something for a reason you’re unsure of—figure out why you’re doing it or simply give up.

Seth Godin calls the point of deciding whether it’s worth pushing on our giving up the Dip.

It’s the point at the bottom of the valley. The point where you either push harder or give up. It’s the point where the majority walks away, but those who push through achieve greatness.

Make a decision today to fight through the Dip or give up on the one-way street with a dead end and find a new path to follow.

I can’t say it any more succinctly than Seth:

Quit the wrong stuff.
Stick with the right stuff.
Have the guts to do one or the other.

Do what you love. Forget the rest.

Your thoughts: are you in a Dip worth fighting through or are you in a cul-de-sac that doesn’t lead anywhere?

…when it comes to social media.

Twitter is not about your lunch.
YouTube wasn’t designed to make you famous.
LinkedIn isn’t for you to get a job.

Are they used like that? Sure. You can also use books as paperweights, email for spamming, and food for overeating. But that’s not the intended purpose.

Photo provided by Matthew Field: http://www.flickr.com/photos/matthewfield/

In reality, however, when it comes to social media, it’s about everyone but you.

In business it’s about…
Connecting with your customers
Listening to their concerns
Providing an outlet for more information
Linking your fans together

In your personal life it’s about…
Helping spread ideas
Developing relationships through a different channel
Inspiring knowledge-seekers with insight
Drawing connections others wouldn’t see

For everyone it’s about…
Bringing people across the globe closer together
Changing the way information flows
Providing relief when disaster strikes
Making a difference in the world

Social media is not your stage.  It’s your chance to connect with the crowd, bring people together, and create change.

You have a ton of things to do today. You’ve got post-it notes up to your eyeballs. You have a prison tattoo of reminders all the way up your arm, and you’re losing track of what you tied the ribbons around your fingers for.

I’ve been there. So, while it’s totally unlike me to do something so organized, I’ve become a list maker.

Photo provided by Ali Nassiri: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alinassiri/

It takes some getting used to, but I promise you’ll love it once you start.

Do
1. Sort by importance. If you have to turn in a project by tomorrow, but you need to redesign your blog (tell me about it), you should probably shelf some things that don’t need to be done immediately. Break up your list into urgent and long-term categories.
2. Set dates. If you want to have the house repainted sometime this year, don’t settle for rolling it mid-December. You’ve got to attach a date to things to make sure they get done before your list turns into a scroll.
3. Be reasonable. You don’t wear a cape, Superman (and if you do, you should probably stop). It’s impossible to do all that you want in a single day. Set reasonable goals according to how much you already have on your plate.
4. Track your progress. I highlight things once they are done on my to-do list. The more I see that I have accomplished, the more I want to take care of the rest of the items.
5. Prioritize. There are some things in life that you probably don’t put a to-do list (like calling your mom or taking a bath) but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do them. Understand the difference between priorities and tasks.
6. Be flexible. Don’t lose sleep if you said you were going to write a blog post Tuesday, but you don’t get to it until Wednesday. It’s alright if you skipped out on it to help a friend, build a relationship, or get a little rest.

Don’t

7. Procrastinate. If you need to email someone or give them a call to answer a question that will only take a minute, be like Nike, and “Just do it.” Don’t put something that will take longer to write on your list than it will to take care of it. Knock. It. Out. Keep moving.
8. Get confused. Don’t use post-it notes, and ribbons on your fingers, and the back of your hand (or up onto your arm), and Google Tasks, and a planner, and a legal pad. Pick one method and stick with it. When you’ve got 100 different ways to remember what you need to do, you’re going to forget where you even put them. My personal preference is a legal pad, because I feel like a hero when I mark something off. My second choice is Google tasks. If you’ve got access to the web wherever you go it’s a great option.
9. Get overwhelmed. Your list is going to be like your waist over the holidays—it’s guaranteed to grow, and you’re going to feel like you’ve lost control. You haven’t! Take a deep breath, start with a quick task or the most important, and just work your way down the list. Once you get in a groove, you’ll be churning out tasks like MJ cranked out the hits in the 80’s.
10. Obsess. A list is just a list. It’s not more important than your friends, or your family, or tons of other things. Live your life and simply use the list to organize it.
11. Give up. It’ll be tempting. You’ll say it’s too much work, or you don’t like to see what you have to do because you freak out. It will help though, I promise. Trust me, you’ll increase your productivity, remember what you have to get done, and, most importantly, have more time to do what really matters.

People lined the streets.Cheerleaders. Grandparents. Local celebrities. Average Joes. Outfits ranging from Santa hats to rockstars. Some knew racers. Most didn’t. But you couldn’t tell who was who because they were all going crazy.

Photo Provided by Competitor Group: http://arizona.competitor.com/photos/

“You can do it! Come on! You’re doing great! Lookin’ good! Only a few more miles to go! You’re killing it!”

Outside of the goodness of God, the spectators were the biggest reason I finished the 26.2 mile trek.

People were high-five’n me and patting me on the back as I ran (err, passed) by. They yelled out my race number. Held signs that were mildly inappropriate but just as much encouraging. Passed out Cheez-Its and orange slices like they were feeding their own family. It was incredible.

The craziest thing about it all? They didn’t have to be there.

They wanted to be there. Normal, average, everyday human beings coming out to support normal, average, everyday human beings trying to accomplish an extraordinary feat. People rooting on others to achieve a dream. They weren’t their because the race was exciting. Trust me, I saw hundreds of people pass by me, and, to say the least, I was underwhelmed by that experience.

These people were a blessing. They didn’t know me. I didn’t know them. But they supported me like we were friends since gradeschool.

What if we encouraged others like that?

What if we kept extra snacks in our car to hand out to homeless people to encourage them when we saw them. What if we told a stranger in class that they were going to do great on a test to boost their confidence. What if we told a coworker they were going to knock it out of the park with their presentation?

We can all use a little encouragement. We’re all human. We all fall short. But when we band together, pick one another up, dust each other off, and dish out some uplifting remarks, anything is possible.

When you run 26.2 miles, expect to be sore the next day.

And the day after that. And the day after that.

It takes everything out of you. Mentally, physically, emotionally–you are drained.

Photo Provided by jard_jard: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/jard_jard

But it’s all worth it. The feeling of a crash after you achieve what you set out to do makes the finish line that much sweeter.

Any time you push yourself beyond your limits, stretch passed what people say you can do, dig down so deep and spend every ounce of energy you have, you’re gonna be sore. It wouldn’t be right if you felt like it never happened the next day.

The soreness is a reminder of your achievement. When you stay up all night to finish the perfect paper, when you sacrifice your time, energy and lunch breaks to create a a project that knocks the socks right off of your teacher or employer, the after effects will rage on long after you’ve run the race.

When you chase a dream or pursue a passion, and give up everything for it, don’t expect the road to be easy, and certainly don’t expect the pain and the sacrifice to end once you finish.

Embrace the soreness. Understand that great pain comes after great achievement. Push yourself until you can’t feel your legs, and give all you’ve got so that the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that…you’ll still be feeling the reward of a job well done.

I made a huge mistake when I ran my marathon.

Experienced marathoners warned me about it. They said I would have problems. I didn’t listen, I figured they didn’t know me well enough to give me their two cents.

Spoiler Alert: I was wrong.

The mistake I made? I didn’t train hard enough.

I didn’t put in enough miles. I didn’t run at a fast enough pace. I slacked in the last month between the holidays because I couldn’t step away from the turkey and ham long enough to put in some real mileage.

And it killed me.

I struggled through the last ten miles. I was hurting. The soreness was unreal, I could barely run for five minutes at a time, and I must have looked like I was a stone throw away from collapsing because I can’t even guess  how many spectators asked me if I was going to make it.

This principle translates so clearly to everything we do in life. You can’t say you’re going to be a doctor, skip out on college and medschool and then show up in an operating room with a scalpel and ask someone where you’re supposed to start cutting.

If you want to accomplish something great, you’ve got to be willing to sacrifice to prepare for it.

Writers don’t crank out first drafts that get published; they painstakingly edit, rewrite, re-edit, delete, add, and totally give up on projects before they create a book worthy of newsstands.

All-star athletes (outside of Allen Iverson) don’t skip out on practicing their shots, spin moves, or swings and then go out and win a title.

Everything you do, every single day, is training for something. Training to be more compassionate, training to be a better friend, training to become a better teacher or wife or student.

The more you train, the more success you will have.

Don’t lose sight of the goal at hand. Practice who you want to be today, and train what you want to achieve. You’ll thank me when your day comes.

This week I’ll be posting about the top five lessons I learned from the Rock ‘n Roll Arizona Marathon, easily one of the most exciting days of my life. Today’s entry is a post of the events of the day.

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

3:57 am Wake up after a great night’s rest. Ready to roll in fifteen minutes, but the race doesn’t start for three and a half hours. I twiddle my thumbs for roughly two of those hours.

6:05 am Watch the start of the Dean Karnazes (one of my heroes) UltraMarathon, for people who don’t think 26.2 miles is enough to run in one day.

7:15 am Pee for the twentieth time. I promise I wasn’t nervous, just overhydrated.

7:30 am Drop off my extra layers at the gear check courtesy of (shoutout alert!) UPS; shiver my way to the starting line.

7:40 am Starting gun sounds. On my way out I chuck up a peace sign to Senator McCain. He proceeded to ask for my autograph. I told him after the race.

Photo Provided by Competitor Group: http://arizona.competitor.com/photos/

8:45 am Mile six. I’m feeling great. Plenty of water and knockoff Gatorade at the “Elite Athlete Fluid Stations” (or fold up tables lined with thousands of Dixie cups), and tons of encouragement from the crowd–more on that in a post later this week.

10:04 am The halfway point. Pace has slowed a bit, but overall glad I didn’t chicken out and drop down to the 1/2 marathon (not that there is anything wrong with the half for those that trained for it). Fun fact alert: 27,000 people ran in the marathon and 1/2 marathon. The ratio of people in the half to people in the full: Over 4 to 1.

11:27 am Eat too many peanut butter pretzels from someone in the crowd. The deliciousness slowed my pace.

11:48 am I finish dreaded mile 19. I’m not sure what it was, but mile 19 and I did not mix well. In fact, we still have beef. Walked most of this mile due to hitting a pretty major wall (figuratively, not literally, of course).

12:37 pm Guy about my age gets hurt on mile 24. I encourage him to push on because we’re so close. He steps to the side, but thankfully, eventually finishes.

1:08 pm The finish line is in sight. I can see the goal. I inevitably kick it up a knotch, mostly to pass this lady who was complaining about spectators crossing the street, as if it was going to throw off her world record setting five and a half hour finish time (frame of reference: the winner crossed the line in 2:10).

1:13 pm Done. Finished. Fin. It’s all over. The feeling was totally indescribable. I came in about an hour later than I anticipated, but it didn’t even matter. I was blessed to cross the finish line injury free in 5:30:40. I cried. I smiled. I couldn’t believe it. Easily one of the most rewarding experiences I’ll ever encounter.

The Cost: Two pairs of shoes run through. Round trip plane tickets. Hotel room. Merchandise. Registration. Seven months of training stretching hundreds of miles. Blood, sweat, and injuries in preparing. Freezing my cajones off training in the winter in Akron.

The Reward: Accomplishing a goal that seems unbelievably far off when you begin. Seeing prayers answered when you finish. Experiencing an unreal amount of support and encouragement from your friends and family. The most emotional and bittersweet feeling when you cross the finish line, knowing you’ve accomplished what you’ve prepared for, and also knowing you’re going to have to push harder and further beyond your limits to get that feeling again.

Seventeen months after a shredded ACL. Thirteen months after reconstructive surgery. One and a half days away from a marathon.

I’m anxious. I’m nervous. I’m worried (against my own sound advice). I’m afraid I won’t finish. I’m scared my legs will give out, I’ll fall on my face, someone will roll me out of the running lane, and I’ll crawl home.

Photo Provided by allenp http://www.sxc.hu/profile/allenp

What’s the lesson from all of this? It’s don’t.

Don’t let anything keep you from challenging yourself.
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do something.
Don’t let the thought that you have to be born an athlete to be one, born a genius to think, or born into wealth to have opportunities cloud your view.

Don’t let the fleeting time you have on earth become saturated with the status quo.

Don’t let me tell you what you’re capable of; push yourself, and erase more don’ts.

Taboo: the game of unspeakable fun.

Teams compete and individuals take turns describing a word on a card. On that card, along with the word you’re trying to get your teammates to guess, there are five words that are deemed taboo—you’re not allowed to use them.

Photo Provided by Mattox: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Mattox

For example, say you have to get your teammates to guess baseball, but can’t say sport, game, pastime, hitter, pitcher or any part of the word baseball itself.

Now obviously there are plenty of other words you can use to describe baseball (HGH or steroids could be used, likely with much success, unfortunately), but for the most part, those words don’t inherently describe it. In fact, the two words I’ve listed have polluted baseball and are often the first things that come to mind, making the word baseball in games of Taboo produced before we knew (or accepted rather) that everyone was taking steroids a pretty simple one to describe.

This is fun; let’s keep playing. Next card: Tiger Woods.

A mere four months ago, what do you think his card said?

Golf. Nike. Masters. Champion. Greatest. And four months ago, with those five words out of the picture, it would have been more painful to describe Tiger than walking over hot coals and broken glass (ok, maybe a little extreme, but you get the point).

Today? Those words would create no problem. In fact, those words are probably the last that come to mind at this point. The first? Affair. Cheater. Unfaithful. Divorce. Out indefinitely. Lost sponsors. Fall from grace.

This isn’t about bashing Tiger or baseball. It’s about you.

Everyone and everything has a “card” of words that instantly come to mind when you hear it.

If your name was on a card, what five words would you want to be ruled out? No seriously, think of those words right now.

What words do you want to so obviously and accurately describe you that trying to think of others would make someone’s brain hurt?

What are the words I’d want on my card? Loving. Grateful. Humble. Creative. Difference maker.

But let’s be realistic. Plenty of people would be confused if they saw those words on my card. They would ask, “Is this the guy I’m thinking of?” Are the words you want to describe yourself different than the words that others would use?

It takes more than just wanting certain words to describe you. You have to live each and every day like those words are at your core; you can’t just say that’s what you’re about—you have to live it out.

Refuse to let words describing your mistakes define you. Live each day knowing what you want your card to say.

Your take: what would you want your card to say? Would others agree with the words you’ve chosen?

You can either finish reading this blog post and go on with your day or you can stop reading now.

(I knew you’d stick around.)

I appreciate your readership, but don’t let me tell you what you can or can’t do. Don’t let anyone give you only two options.

There are always alternatives. You could read this halfway through, reread it, pass it on to friends, or leave a comment. You can write your own post telling me why I’m wrong, or you could refuse to ever return to this site. But you have more than “this or that.”

Leaders refuse to answer to an ultimatum; they have the ability to create more possibilities.

Photo provided by arroclint (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/arroclint)

Life is not a multiple choice exam. Your options are not laid out plainly on a sheet of paper. When you feel trapped in an ultimatum that doesn’t have an answer you like, simply choose none of the above.

That’s great, you say, but how do I eliminate ultimatums in my life? I’m so glad you asked. In three easy steps, you too can become a non-conformist.

1. Assess the situation. When doors are closed, check the windows. Look for unconventional ways to answer the ultimatum.
2. Ask your friends. Talk with them about the predicament you’re in, but don’t tell them that you’ve been presented with two varieties of answers. See what ideas they come up with when they don’t feel confined to the either/or you’ve been pigeonholed into.
3. Amalgamate. Combine the either/or to create a compromise. It doesn’t have to be A or F–that’s why educators dreamed up the high school and college seniors favorite letter: C.

Eliminate the ultimatums in your life…or fall prey to them and limit your possibilities.

Your take: What do you do when your are provided with an ultimatum? How do you create opportunities?

After two and a half years of some heavy use and abuse, the battery on my Macbook is slowly but surely dying.

I called Apple to see if they could send me a replacement battery, as my computer is still under warranty, but the man on the other end of the line assured me my battery was no longer covered. He said I could order a replacement from their website online or I could look online somewhere else because he knew that Apple.com would be the most expensive.

And that was that.

Photo Provided by Mattox: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Mattox

I was disappointed, but a warranty is a warranty, right? He was just doing his job, and he gave me a nice tip on going somewhere else to get a battery.

But couldn’t he have done more for a loyal customer?

I had already gone online, registered my computer, set up an appointment, described my problem, and waited for him to call. And when the call was finished, I was right back where I started.

What’s the point of offering a suggestion that forces me to jump through more hoops to solve the problem? What if he would have ordered a replacement battery from a reliable third-party he knew, or at least pointed me in that direction, emailed me the link, or connected me to one of their representatives? I would have been elated. Instead, he sent me into the search alone, and without any more direction than I started with.

When you’re in the business (or lifestyle) of helping people, are you just making suggestions, or are you truly serving?

Are you offering help, but not making yourself readily available?
Are you a “customer-focused” business that doesn’t have an email or phone number on a website?
Are you asking a friend to sit with you, or are you physically pulling up a chair for them?
Are you going out of your way, forgetting about the costs, and serving to the point that people call you crazy?

Inconvenience yourself.  Go one more step. Step beyond what’s expected to shock someone in the best way possible.

Today, you have a boatload of things to accomplish. Projects to finish, errands to run, resolutions you (already) have to get back on track.

You have two options. First, you can worry.

You can stress out about not getting them done.

You can think about all of the consequences of failing to finish what you have to complete today.

You can theorize about all of the terrible things that will happen if you don’t pick up a gallon of milk before the day is over. Tomorrow morning you won’t be able to eat your Coco Puffs effectively crashing your schedule into a brick wall and wasting another day this week.

You might as well chalk the first full week of the New Year up as a loss if your first two working days are already down the tubes.

The second option? Take action.

The day hasn’t even started yet—what are you worrying for? Decide what has to be completed today and make moves to ensure completion. If you have long term goals (like running a marathon), get your butt out of bed, get to the gym, and don’t stop ‘till you get enough.

What’s the sense in worrying about running? Just do it.

If you want to accomplish things, worry won’t work. It won’t help you, it won’t motivate you—it will simply paralyze you.

Don’t let the possibilities of today be ruined by the worry of tomorrow.

This blog post is the first of its kind for The Point of Impact.

I’m writing it on my iPhone.

On a plane.

In flight.

Technology today has surpassed what most of us could have ever imagined. We are connected everywhere, all the time, nonstop.

Not only can we have technology everwhere all the time, but we are able to connect with others everywhere all the time.

I could call a friend overseas on this flight or text a friend at home and tell him our flight is on time.

Even more impressive is the ability to find answers.

One of my “friends” (and I use that term on Facebook loosely) posted a status update with the lyrics of a song. Moments later, someone asked the name of the song. A third party then chimed in and responded with the song title.

But that’s not what’s impressive. What’s impressive is that it all in a matter of seconds.

What we have is a gift–a toolbox of opportunities to leverage information and communication.

Innovations will not stop. Connectedness will continue indefinitely. The world is shrinking, and if you’re a person with ideas, that’s the best news you’ll hear all week.

Buckle your seatbelts, my friends. There are no emergency exits in this intertwined world. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the future.

When you wake up each morning, why do you do what you do?

From the coffee you drink to the friends you talk to. Decisions you stir over to the books you read. Why?

Will you get more energy? More satisfaction? More money? More friends? More knowledge?

Every single act you perform has some motive behind it.

You eat because you’re hungry (or bored or depressed). You go to work to fulfill your purpose (or pay the bills or get out of the house). You go on vacation to spend time with family or friends (or relax or try to escape reality).

At the heart of every single thing you do every single day, there’s a driving force—a (potentially subconscious) factor that steers your choices.

Now, what if you did everything with only the best intentions?

When you hate your job, what if you worked like you loved it?
When you’re too tired to listen, what if you empathically listened to your family?
When you have nothing to gain from doing the right thing, what if you did it anyway?
When you gave freely of something, what if you expected nothing in return (not even that fuzzy feeling inside)?  

 What would that say about your life if you only acted with the best intentions of others in mind?

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. I could easily make a list as long as a Black Friday line at Best Buy rattling off things I’m thankful for, but I write about them every post.

Today, my thanks goes out to you, the readers, because I would have been burnt out long ago if it wasn’t for your encouragement and support.

Count your blessings today. Be thankful for all you have and forget about what you think you’re missing.

Thanks for giving me a huge blessing to be thankful for this year.

You keep reading, and I’ll keep writing.

Saturday, November 20^th, 2009, 11:05 pm

This is a surreal moment.

As I sit in my apartment in my third year at Ohio University, soaking in the last hour of my second decade on this planet, it’s hard to believe how fast time passes by.

Everyone anxiously awaits their 21^st birthday. A day of freedom and celebration. Freedom to do just about anything outside renting a car at a premium and celebration for the years passed and those still to come.

I rejoice over each year I’ve had the pleasure of spending on this earth—overlooking the handful of bad days in the last 76-hundred or so and counting my blessings that I’m totally undeserving of.

I wouldn’t trade the memories and friendships I have for anything, but the time on this planet is merely a millisecond in light of eternity, so living it with purpose and joy is the only option for me.

I’m at a college that feels like home. I have a wonderful family I love, friends that I’d do anything for, and a future ahead of me that only the Lord knows what’s in store, but one that I’m excited to see. I am blessed beyond all belief.

If we’ve ever met, I’m confident you’ve had some impact on my life. In honor of this birthday, I wanted to commemorate some of the most important lessons I’ve learned on this earth by chiseling them into stone. I don’t have a chisel or a stone slab, so I’ll settle for cementing them into the new history book—the blogosphere.

I’m certain I’ve learned more than this (at least I hope), and I’m confident I’ll leave out some important lessons, but I know the following have shaped who I am.

1. Don’t worry about anything that can’t worry about you.
2. Love people.
3. Optimism is the only outlook worth having.
4. Manage your character and your reputation won’t be in danger.
5. Do what you say you’re going to do, and you’ll shock the world around you.
6. Be genuine in apologies when you inevitably screw up.
7. Perfection isn’t achievable, but you should live like it is.
8. Give everyone a chance.
9. Smile. A lot.
10. Find your passion and chase it.
11. Bodies aren’t meant to end up in the grave in good shape. Slide into the end of your life beaten, bruised and worn down after living a life that took everything out of you.
12. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
13. Friends come into your life for seasons. Never underestimate the power a single person can have on your life, no matter how long they’re around.
14. Take risks. The status quo is average for a reason.
15. Go to extremes to help people.
16. Nothing says thank you like a handwritten card.
17. Outside of people, nothing will have a profound impact on your life like a Book.
18. Stand up when everyone else lies down. Pull them up when they don’t think they can stand.
19. Do your laundry before you get to your last boxer-briefs. Urgency spikes when you wear your last pair.
20. Live a life that inspires others to live like you.
21. Count your blessings—and then call and thank them.

To all of those who have impacted me in my life, thank you. I don’t know who or where I’d be if it wasn’t for the Lord putting us together.

“Everything that can be invented has been invented.”—Charles H. Duell, U.S. Commissioner of Patents, 1899

We all know the Mr. Duell was slightly off in his assumption about the future. It seems more difficult than ever to come up with great new ideas because we think everything has been invented, but that is by no means the case. There are millions of problems in the world that still need to be solved, and we aren’t even close to the end of innovation until all of life’s  little  nuances are taking care of.

Too many people today don’t share their ideas with others because of fear—fear they’ll be stolen, put into action, and end up embarrassed like Seth Green in The Italian Job after his roommate stole the idea for Napster when he was napping in his dorm room.Here are 11 reasons why you should share your ideas (including one why no one will steal them).

1. Great Insight—It’s incredible how much insight people have if you provide the framework for an idea. Toss out a skeleton and watch your friends and family throw meat on the bones of your brainchild.
2. Potential Partners—Last weekend I shared an idea I had for a software program with an international graduate student in computer science that I just met. Not only did she have the ability to potentially build the program but she was specializing in the functionality of what my idea revolved around!
3. Motivation—The more I talk about ideas, the more motivated I am to act on them. It’s an instant flame to the kindling wood that when you talk to others about what you’ve got cooking.
4. Foresee Problems—Let’s face it, there are tons of haters out there. If someone doesn’t give you a great idea to build on or feature to incorporate, at least you can use their pessimism to your advantage when they tell you all of the problems with your idea (but don’t let that get you down)!
5. Test the Market—When you tell someone an idea and they say “I would LOVE something like that” you’ve got a winner. When they tell you, “I have something just like that!” you know it’s time to do better research and press the reset button, as in the case of your great idea for an application that maps your run (mapmyrun link).
6. More Ideas—Get two idea-generating people in a room and they could dream up solutions to the world’s problems all night. If you’re an ideator, share with as many people as you can—you’ll be amazed at what you drum up.
7. Spreadability—I bet you didn’t even know that was a word, did you? Spreadability is all about how easy it is for your idea to spread, and talking to others will show you if you’re working with frozen margarine or warm butter. Do you have an elevator pitch? Can you make a potentially complex simple enough for your friends to tell their friends? Sharing is a great way to find out.
8. Moral Support—There’s nothing like some encouragement to put more faith into your ideas. Having people you know that are totally behind your seemingly crazy ventures is a fantastic feeling.
9. Theft—People are too lazy to steal your ideas, but a good rule of thumb is to stay away from people who steal other things and to stay in the clear. If someone does try steal your idea, well, some of life’s hardest lessons are learned the hard way. Maybe that thief is just the motivation you needed to get to work on your next light bulb.
10. Connecting the Dots—Maybe the person you’re talking to doesn’t have anything to add to your idea, but they may be able to put you in contact with someone with the skills you need. Having someone connect you to another valuable resource is a huge stepping-stone.
11. Relationship Building—You learn a ton about people when you are sharing ideas with them. They see you as a more intimate friend if you trust them with an idea. And even if they can’t help you out with this idea, who knows what they may draw up and share with you.

I don’t have class on Fridays, but they are inevitably my busiest days. I can’t explain why I go through the week with a moderate amount of responsibilities each day and Friday ends up as the Superbowl for meetings, but it’s a fact of life, so I suck it up and deal with it.

Last Friday I had a few meetings (read: more than I would ever want at the end of the week) to attend in the late morning, but I wanted to sneak a run in before hand.

Being a typical college bachelor, I needed to iron my shirt and pants that were balled up in the corner of my room before my morning of meetings, but I was confident I would have time to take care of  that once I got back.

I was wrong.

I got back from my run a little later than I anticipated (read: five minutes before my meeting). When I walked into my apartment, I knew something was wrong because my roommates were twiddling their thumbs. They weren’t glued to the TV playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 for the 50^th consecutive hour, and though I’m certain their girlfriends we’re rejoicing, they looked confused.

They said something happened to the power a few streets over from our apartment, and the power was mostly out. Yes, we were at about half power. Don’t ask me how it happened—I’ve never seen anything like it before (I now assume it was the blogosphere’s way of telling me I hadn’t posted in over a week, and it thought I could use some inspiration).

When I flipped the light switch in the bathroom, the half electricity rumors were confirmed. There was no harsh, bright light blinding me, and I wasn’t deafened by the fan that sounds like a jet preparing for take off in the bathroom.  Instead, we had a nice aurora and a quiet hum that nearly put me to sleep.

Rather than stepping into a bedroom filled with buzzing electronics, it was like walking into a TV repair shop—some items were clicking and sputtering away  while others laid motionless as if Y2K just happened all over again but with all of the crazy speculation actually coming true.

I tried to use my iron, but there wasn’t enough juice to power it, and I didn’t have time to play Battleship with my power strip to find the right spot to get it to work.

I decided to worry about the shirt after I took my shower. I went to hop in, and, following the trend of half working, we had no hot water. I settled for a one-leg-in, one-leg-out shower that lasted all of about sixty seconds.

After leaving the apartment with half a shower, a half wrinkled shirt, running half an hour late to my first meeting, I started thinking, “How many things in life do we do at half power?”

How many relationships do we put half of our effort into but expect to see a fully charged benefit?

How many papers, assignments and tests do we prepare for half-heartedly and haphazardly, but expect to get an A for effort?

How many does do we just put our lives on cruise control, not going out of our way to put full effort into anything we’re doing?

Why do we settle for half of our effort and believe the lie that we’re too busy to complete something with 100 percent energy?

I’m a big believer in the “anything worth doing is worth doing right” mentality. Why even bother doing something if you’re not giving it your all?

The power outage was frustrating, but even more frustrating was my realization of how I  often put half of my energy into a swing of the bat when life is throwing me a 90-mile-per-hour fastball; every once and a while I might make contact, but more often than not I’m going to look like an idiot when I inevitably whiff.

Stop half trying and expecting full positive results. If you’re going to do something, do it right—the results are worth it.

In my involvement with The Sales Centre (which has gotten a lot of action in my blog lately) I have the opportunity to meet with executives almost every week.

It’s a fantastic opportunity for me to learn from these executives, but my role, at the end of the day, is to tell them why investing in The Sales Centre is the best recruiting move they could possibly make. I, along with three other fantastic, motivated, dedicated students, essentially pitch the value of our organization to companies that fit well with our self-funded program.

We had a sales call last night, and it went very well. I had a great team helping me out, and I was very happy with how the call went.

Once my portion of the race was over, I passed the baton (and our potential client) off to two more terrific sales candidates to finish off the evening at dinner.

About fifteen minutes after our call, I received a text asking me to check on our client’s car. He remembered parking on the street in front of a meter that had a bag covering it. Normally, those bags aren’t much of an issue. The Athens Meter Maid Society has a tendency to put those plastic yellow slippers over top of the change collectors long before the spots are needed.

As many of you may know, yesterday was Election Day. Our client was parked just outside of the Athens County Board of Elections—the office where all of the ballots were being delivered and counted.

As I checked on his car, I saw there was a police vehicle with a flurry of patriotic lights letting out a radiant glow over the entire block just behind where our man was parked. A tow truck was hooked up to a car just a space away, and they were calling in the cavalry (read: more tow trucks) to force the surrender of the insurgents (read: tow away every car on the block).

After quickly giving in to negotiations with a cop who wanted to hear nothing about how our client flew in all the way from California to potentially donate money to the only reason Athens still exists (read: Ohio University), I scrambled to call my buddy Stefan who was at dinner with our client. I told him we had mere minutes to move the car before it would be towed away to Where The Wild Things Are (or the boondocks where all towing companies are located so you have time to calm down before you literally explode from frustration of the whole incident. Smart bunch, those towers.)

I sprinted down three blocks in a full suit, skinny tie flapping in the wind, uncomfortable dress shoes hitting the uneven bricks as I pumped my arms in an effort to save the day.

I met our client at the top of our student union, and we hustled back down the three blocks I had just clamored. As we arrived, the driver of the tow truck was putting the final touches on our client’s Fusion—checking to make sure the tires were locked into place and lifting the front of the vehicle into the perfect “I’m-going-to-drag-this-hunk-of-metal-over-ten-miles-away-and-absolutely-rip-you-off-to-when-you-ask-for-it-back” position.

Luckily, we stopped the driver before he took off. He happily lowered the car for the one-time, ultra-low payment of $45 for merely jacking the car up (but we got a free book light!), and we drove away happily ever after (or at least to a safer spot on campus).

If you’re still reading, you’re probably wondering, what’s the moral of the story?

I’m glad you asked, friend.

If I wasn’t committed to The Sales Centre and giving our potential customers the best experience, I wouldn’t have checked the car, and I certainly wouldn’t have run down the street like I was James Bond trying to stop Dr. No from taking over the US Space program.

What are the things in your life that you are committed to? How dedicated are you? To what lengths are you willing to go to show your commitment?

I won’t claim that I’m dedicated to anything in my life if I’m not willing to sacrifice for it—first and foremost for my faith, and then my friends and family, and then my organizations.

Going above and beyond to show your commitment to a cause is more than doing what’s expected. It’s about running down the street in a two-piece suit for a cause.

This morning I made a terrible decision.

I was in a rush to get to the gym because I had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish this morning (like writing a blog post).

I went out to my car and realized there was frost coating the windows. I didn’t have a scraper, so I proceeded to put roll down my windows, blast the heater, and spray the windshield with washer fluid as I drove.

I ended up leaning my head out of the window to see where I was going, gasping for breath as the cold air berated my face.

The drive was under a mile, but my decision was 100 percent unjustified. It was a flat out stupid choice.

I arrived at my destination safely, but why would I risk my life (and most certainly others) because I was in too big of a hurry to walk or clean off my windows?

I did it because I was too lazy, too rushed, and too stubborn to take the time and effort to make sure I could clearly see where I was going.

Instead of taking time to ensure the safety of others and myself, I chose to look like an idiot with my head hanging out of my driver’s side window, driving 15 mph under the speed limit because I could barely see.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only case of irrational behavior for me. Too often I let tiny things that can lead to monster problems get in the way of where I’m going.

I let miniscule disagreements eat away at friendships. I push a minor problem under the rug that will most certainly lead to huge complications instead of easily taking care of it and ensuring a smoother ride in the future.

What are the trivial issues that lead to enormous problems in your life?

Don’t be too bullheaded, ignorant, or tired to handle a petite problem that is right in front of you—a problem that is going to affect you much too deep in comparison to the magnitude of the problem.

Apologize to a friend if your relationship has been damaged over something minor (or even something major). Take care of that speed bump in your life that is blurring your vision, holding you back, and keeping you from where you are going before it turns into a roadblock in the future.

Don’t let a quick fix turn into a huge regret. Take the time today to resolve a nagging problem, something that is obscuring your view, so that you can clearly see what lies ahead.

There are people you just naturally click with. There are other people you just don’t get. What determines the “click factor”?

We’ve been taught the Golden Rule our whole life: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” While in essence this is true (you want to respect them, love them, treat them kindly, etc.), treating them exactly how you want to be treated isn’t always effective.

Over the past year, I’ve had a lot of exposure to an out-of-this-world self-assessment known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) thanks to my friend Brandon Croke. This past Monday, The Sales Centre at Ohio University put on an event focusing on the MBTI and how to deal work better with (or tolerate) those around you.

This personality type indicator asks roughly 100 questions, and based on your responses, places you in between two extremes on four different scales.

For example, the first scale measures where you get your energy from—from people or from things. Those who are energized from people are Extroverts, and those who are energized by things are Introverts.

There are three more scales, measuring how you gather information, how you make decisions, and how you organize your life.

After aggregating your responses you are placed on one side of a scale making you one of two types for each category:  1. Extrovert/Introvert 2. Sensing/INtuition 3. Thinking/Feeling 4. Judging/Perceiving. By simply responding with your preferences to either/or questions, you are sorted into one of 16 different personality types consisting of four different letters. Based on your type, you can find a profile describing how you act in certain situations, whom you work well with, potential careers, strengths and weaknesses, and much more.

I encourage you to take the test online here for free. Click on the link that says After receiving your results, google “portrait of an ENTP” (which is what I am, for anyone who is curious) or whatever four letters the test aggregates.

Don’t use this as test as an excuse. Just because you aren’t a fan of deadlines doesn’t mean you won’t have to adhere to them. Don’t look down on people who are introverts just because you enjoy talking people’s ears off—there’d be no one to listen to you if it wasn’t for them!

Use this test to understand more about how you work, and why you click with some people but not with others. This is merely a tool to understand those around you better in an effort to create more harmony. This isn’t the end all be all of who you are.

Understanding why someone waits until the last minute to finish a project or why someone else would rather read a book than go to a party is actually ingrained and hardwired into her personality type—so don’t expect her to change. Work to understand those who are different than you and you’ll be amazed at how much more you can achieve.

So, what’s your type?

(Welcome to the newest section at The Point of Impact, “Executive Experience.” From time to time, I’m blessed with opportunities to sit down with big wigs. This is what they tell me.)

While I may not be interested in becoming a corporate America CEO anymore, I believe there is still plenty to be learned from those who are running the show at companies.  Last night, I had the chance to attend a session with Dan Squiller, CEO of PowerGenix, a company in California that produces green rechargeable batteries.

It’s intriguing to hear about how people have navigated through life to get to where they are today.  Dan graduated with degrees in electrical engineering and organizational communication from OU, and now he’s a CEO.  He’s worked and lived all over the world, but it was no walk through the park. He struggled to find balance in his work and home life, but his realization that money doesn’t bring happiness allowed him to correct his course.

The following are my top takeaways from Dan’s session. This is mostly paraphrasing with my input dashed in, so if you don’t like what he said, I’ll take the blame.

1. Accept responsibility. The easiest way to lose the trust of your coworkers is to refuse to take the blame when you’ve made a mistake. Accept responsibility when you make a poor decision, admit you were wrong, and learn from your mistakes. Your credibility and level of respect are guaranteed to increase.
2. Take risks. Don’t be afraid to leap without seeing where you’re going to land. Risks will take you further than you thought you were able to go.
3. Eliminate excessive behaviors. Just about anything in excess is a bad thing. Rid your life of those behaviors if you want to stay focused.
4. Emotion obscures feedback. Don’t let your pride, sensitivity, or lack of confidence inhibit your ability to hear criticism. Don’t be on the defensive when others are offering advice you need to hear.
5. If a company depends on heroes, it doesn’t depend on processes. Companies that leave things up to chance and heroic acts to get things done are either in trouble or headed for it.
6. Success is a terrible thing. Dan’s success early in his career went straight to his head. His ego ballooned, his arrogance affected his work, and those things cost him his job. Success breeds pride, and that’s not something you want to deal with.
7. There are no shortcuts to respect. When you’re trying to gain respect with your coworkers, there’s no way to MapQuest the shortest distance from no respect to high respect. You’ve got to earn it by working hard, doing your job, and proving your abilities.
8. Don’t put an upper limit on yourself. In an interview for a VP of Sales role, the interviewer asked Dan, “What’s the biggest role you could play in a company?” Dan said, “Maybe being the general manager of a 100 million dollar company.” His lack of confidence almost cost him the job, so never sell yourself short.
9. Pain and failure are the greatest catalysts for growth. When you get knocked down, it’s what you do once you get back up that decides where you’re going.  When you can reflect on the mistakes you’ve made and failure you’ve seen and learn from them, the mistakes and failures were just what you needed.
10. Don’t accept either/or situations. Leaders are expected to find a way out of those scenarios. Saying you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place is a cop out.
11. Temperament and motivations determine where you’ll end up. If you have the right attitude and the right motivations, your path might not wind exactly how you anticipated, but there’s a great chance you’ll arrive where you originally set off to go.

Lately, my posts have been few and far between.  For that, I apologize; unfortunately, I can’t promise it’s going to get any better any time soon.

I’ve been challenged to reevaluate how I spend my time.  Discovering where you invest most of your time will show you where your priorities lie.  While I’ve gotten pretty good at time management, I haven’t completely prioritized what I’ve been doing.

I’ve been scrambling for the last six weeks to keep my feet underneath me, and so far I’ve made it.  Now that I’ve had a chance to catch my breath, I’ve realized I have some rearranging to do.

I need to spend more time in The Word and that has to be my biggest priority.  There aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I want, so I have to be selective in my activities.  Some things go to the chopping block and some have to wait it out on the bench for now.

My number one priority is to bring glory to the Lord and live a life that brings others closer to Him. I’d be a hypocrite if I said that my entire existence hinges on Christ’s death on the cross, but then just barely sprinkled in a little Jesus time in between training for a marathon and writing blog posts.  He must to be my number one priority, even if it means sacrificing other worthy causes in the midst.

I challenge you to reevaluate your priorities.  If school is one of your top priorities, why do you study less than you play video games?  If you say relationships are important to you, why do you eat alone instead of calling a friend?

If you say Jesus is the most important thing in your life, why are you making him a spice in your life instead of the main ingredient? What are you living for, and what are you doing to make that the number one thing in your life?

I apologize for this being a less than jam-packed week for posts.  I proclaimed “Leadership Week” and then left you hanging—my bad.  I hope I can make up for it on a slam-dunk, week-ending post.

Last Friday our Missional Team Leader for Campus Crusade for Christ, Brian McCollister, had the leaders of our movement over for dinner.  Brian talked about Jonathan in 1 Samuel 14:1-13.  In the passage, Jonathan asks his armor-bearer to fight against over twenty men in a half-acre area.  His armor-bearer responds by saying, “Do all that you have in mind. Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

Jonathan asked this man to follow him into a wildly outnumbered battle.  The odds were stacked against them.  Despite the outlook from the follower’s view, he said yes—instantly—without hesitation.

Are you the type of leader that can inspire followers to go with you into an incredible battle?  Will those your leading be with you “heart and soul?”

How confident are your followers about where they are being led?  Are you the kind of leader who is unsure of direction, leading without vision, unaware of what your followers are capable of?  Or are you a leader who has served followers and trusted in their abilities when times were tough?

The more effectively you lead your troops, the more their trust in you and loyalty to you will grow. The odds may seem stacked against you, but if you are confident about your calling, your followers will be right behind you, saying yes to your requests without hesitation.

What are you doing today to build the trust of your followers?

I’m not talking about blind following. I’m talking about an established track record of trust that’s been built from the ground up.  I’m talking about being a leader so full of integrity, character, and honesty that followers will go to the ends of the earth behind him—a leader so confident in his purpose and the abilities of his followers that no battle seems too tough.

What are you doing today to become a leader that resonates with followability?

Without vision, people are discouraged.

If people are discouraged, your efforts to lead them are going to be fruitless.

Vision is important.  Action without vision is like running with no direction: you’ll end up somewhere, but that doesn’t mean it’s where you want to be.

It’s easy for leaders to get caught up in the motions of “leading” without having a plan of where to go.  Whether you know it or not, you’re heading somewhere with every single decision you make. You are either moving closer to your goal or you are moving in the wrong direction.

How do you solve the problem of leading without a vision?  Decide out where you want to be.  If all the conditions were right, if everything went according to plan, where would you (and, hopefully, your followers) be in one month?  In six months?  A year?

Once you answer those questions, you can start making decisions to find out how to get there.

If you’re not sure of where you want to be (or could be or should be) ask those around you. In fact, even if you know where you want to be, ask your followers.

Never be afraid to ask those you lead where they want to go. Often, their dreams and ambitions are even larger than yours (but just as obtainable).

If you want to run a marathon in 6 months, start by running a mile this week.

If you want to change the world, start by setting your vision.

Break your vision down into achievable goals.  Know where you’re headed, and take the baby steps it takes to get there. Before you know it, you’ll need a bigger, broader, crazier vision.

No vision is too big. The only thing holding your followers back from their vision is you.

(As foreshadowed last week, this is the first post of “Leadership Week.”  If you aren’t a leader, read along and let’s see if I can change your mind.)

Whether you know it or not, you have a leadership style.  If you don’t know your style or you aren’t loyal to any particular methods yet, I’d like to show you the way I do things, and explain why I think that’s the most effective way to rally people around you.

I’ve been blessed with opportunities to lead others in several different capacities, so it’s important for me to make sure I’m doing the right things, not just doing things right.

Every leader has a particular style.  Some rule with an iron fist, others micro-manage.  Some leaders delegate, others intimidate.  Different styles can be applied in different situations, but there is almost always a core style leaders revert back to.

After years of working with many different people, in many different situations, I’ve enacted a style that I feel works in any situation.  It’s modeled after the most humble leader in history—Jesus.  The style has been dubbed servant leadership, and its effectiveness is incredible.

Jesus served those he led.  He wasn’t asking for his feet to be washed, but instead he washed other’s feet.  He didn’t ask them to fight evil alone; he fought right alongside them.  He didn’t ask his followers to do anything he wouldn’t do (he even stepped out of heaven to walk this earth and die for his followers—I’d say that’s about as humble as you get).  He lowered himself and served, leading by example and dedicating himself to building into his followers and changing their lives forever.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

Servant leadership is all about humbly serving—considering those you are leading better than you.  When you are willing to serve others, they will be willing to follow you.

At times it’s easy to know when you’re succeeding as a leader, but sometimes we need to take a step back and see where we are.  Here are a handful of questions I think are critical to ask:

Do those under you feel valued and esteemed?
Are their contributions recognized and appreciated?
Are you developing those under you?
Are the followers reaching their potential?
Are they learning? Serving? Growing?
Are you building leaders or followers?
Who could replace you tomorrow?

Max DuPree says in Leadership is an Art, “Being a leader means…having the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those who permit leaders to lead.”

You can serve people without loving them, but you cannot love people without serving them.

Love the people you lead, and then serve them—you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to lead people once you’re willing to put their needs above your own.

After a brief hiatus, Fitness Friday is back, and it couldn’t be at a more fitting time.  I needed a break for the last few Fridays.  I needed to take a breath, rest, and enjoy some time away from the blogosphere at the week’s end.

In other news, I’ve had to take it easy in my marathon training.  I’ve been hitting the pavement pretty hard, and I tweaked my ankle, which sidelined me for a few days.  My running around, in a literal and figurative sense, was slowed just a bit the last few weeks.  And you know what?  It felt great.

It’s easy to get caught up in the day in and day out and not stop to breathe. We run through life without looking back, without taking a break, refusing to stop and reflect–slowly but surely running ourselves into the ground.

Rest is important.  It’s critical to your progress in training and in life.  You need some time to recharge your batteries.  You’ve got to stop running long enough to make sure you’ve got enough left in the tank to finish the trip (and to make sure you’re still headed in the right direction).  If you don’t refuel, you’ll be halfway through your journey and end up stranded when you run out of steam.

Take time to breathe.  Take a break.  Take a time out.  Put things on hold.  Your work will be there when you get back.  It’s not easy to stop (even if it’s only for a second) when it feels like you’ve got too much to do, but I promise you, relaxing is one of the best things you can do when things are overwhelming.  Just breathe.

Even God took a day off when he created the universe. I’d say if the Creator took a break, it’s probably a good idea if we do to.

I’m a busy person (which is totally relative, and may be much more busy than you are, or much less busy, and if the latter is the case, I’m praying for your sanity).

I don’t like to waste my time on non-value added activities. I don’t clean my room all that often—would it be nice if it were pristine?  Sure.  Does “clean enough” get me by?  Absolutely.  I could dust every day and make sure everything is right where it belongs, but there are books to be read, people to learn from, and a world to change.

Yesterday morning I had an epiphany. I was trying to brew my half pot of morning java that I can no longer function without, and I couldn’t separate two coffee filters.  They were stuck together like white on rice.  I crumpled.  I twisted.  I folded them into origami, and they refused to come apart.  After about two minutes, I gave up, and snagged a different, independent filter that wasn’t so fond of another coffee byproduct.

During those two minutes, two thoughts passed through my head.

1. How much are these coffee filters worth? I think I bought 200 for about two dollars.  If that’s the case, I was trying to pry apart two pennies for two minutes.
2. Could I be doing something more valuable with my time? For two minutes, I tried to pry apart two  pieces of paper shaped like the organs of my coffee maker, worth approximately two tiny Abraham Lincolns.  I was caught up in an activity that wasn’t worth the effort.

How many things do I do each day that are a total waste of my time? Am I managing my over-extended waking hours appropriately? How many times during the day am I trying to pry apart two filters that aren’t worth the cost of my time?  Am I looking at the big picture, or am I getting caught up in the tasks that are much less important?

Know what you want to achieve during your day.  Don’t let things that could be avoided bog down your productivity or allow you to lose your sense of direction.

Don’t get caught up separating filters. Reach for the next idea, task, or situation that is worth your time, instead of getting stuck in a battle that’s a loss even if you win.

In one of Disney’s greatest productions, Remember the Titans , the writers crackan egg of leadership knowledge all over our faces in the midst of a heated confrontation. The captain of the team, Gary, confronts another player, Julius, about his attitude and lack of effort.

In turn, Julius says to Gary, “Attitude reflects leadership, captain.”

If a group isn’t performing up to standards set by the leader, others, or those inside the group, the reaction is normally to ask, “What’s wrong with those people?”

The question we should be asking, however, is, “What’s wrong with their leader?” It is the job of the leader to motivate, challenge, correct, inspire, and set an example for the group. If a group has a poor attitude, it’s a direct result of poor leadership.

I attended a leadership symposium a few weeks ago, and the question was asked, “Why does the millennial generation (those born from 1982—until now) enjoy working in groups?” Before the discussion could even get started, two girls in the back chimed in and said, “We don’t like working in groups. That’s just a chance for people to slack off and capitalize on our hard work.”

For the sake of keeping my cool (and not directly attacking anyone), I didn’t put in my two cents after that response (until now). I thought to myself, “I love working in groups. I’ve worked with those some would call slackers and I’ve had the pleasure of working with absolute all-stars, and I’ve still almost always had an enjoyable experience.”

The problem, from my analysis, isn’t the other people in the group—it was most likely the way those two girls led their groups. A poor attitude, or lack of work ethic, is merely a reflection of poor leadership and direction.

Is this the case all of the time? Maybe not. Maybe there are some people who have a bad attitude no matter what the leadership does—but I’d say that’s very unlikely. A strong leader is able to motivate just about anyone by adapting to each personality, and, most importantly, by setting an example.

Next time you’re leading a group and your followers have a lackluster attitude, remember what the impact of leadership on attitude.

America wants us to work towards a skewed definition of success.  Step on as many toes as you have to.  Burn all the bridges it takes.  Just get to the top.  Money will bring you happiness.  Fame will cement your place in history.

It’s wrong.  It’s sad.  It’s got to change.

We’re told we should always be striving for success instead of striving for greatness.  In a terrific interview (which you need to watch), Cornel West says there is a very distinct difference between success and greatness.  He said success is “worldly…financial gain….living in the vanilla suburb.  It can become not only idolatrous, but poisonous to one’s soul.”

On the contrary, Mr. West says, “Greatness is about being a better, more compassionate human being.”

If that’s the case, how much easier is it to strive for greatness instead of success?  Not only is greatness easier to achieve, but it’s also more important.  What if everyone we knew was working towards being a better, more compassionate human being?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is “It’s about relationships, not accomplishments.” I try and remind myself of that every day.  When people ask me, “How do you have time to meet with people when you’re so busy doing other things?”  I share the quote above with them and say, “I’m not too busy for people.”

Too many of us are driven by things secondary to what life is all about. We aren’t putting people first.  If you are living your life and putting material things above people, your priorities are all out of whack.

You think a big house is more important than friendships?  You think compassion and serving other people is lower on the list than financial success?  Really? If you think that, let’s sit down and have a talk.  No amount of words on a webpage will show you the light (but I’ll try to shake some sense into you).

If you are pursuing the path to success, rather than the path to greatness, it’s never too late to push the reset button.  Reevaluate where you are.  Are you on the path where you should be going—putting people ahead of things?  Strive for greatness, and I promise you’ll achieve it (and make this world a better place on the way).

My name is Jordan, and I have a pride issue. I’m glad I got that out there.  It feels good.  I’m going to keep at this.  I get too big for my britches, I think I’m better than I am, and I feel like I deserve what I have much more than I would ever care to admit.  I’m working on that.  Pray for me.

Yesterday I had an opportunity to chat with a friend of mine about pride, and we studied Luke 18: 9 – 14.  The scripture is a parable about a Pharisee and a tax collector.  Essentially, the Pharisee is an arrogant, self-righteous, boasting dirtball (my words), who walks around with a sense of entitlement and thinks he deserves God’s grace and mercy.

The tax collector is a humble servant who doesn’t even feel he is fit to be anywhere near the altar in the temple.  He realizes he’s soaked in sin, and he asks the Lord for mercy because he knows he’s unworthy of anything God gives him.

Who are you in that parable?  Me—I’m the Pharisee.  I’m sorry if you were expecting a different answer.  I let things go to my head faster than you can say “Pharisee.”  It’s disgusting.  It’s shameful.  It’s something I pray about daily.

Some people might not notice my pride, others might see that at times I’ve got a bigger head than Stewie from Family Guy.  This post is by no means meant to illicit “I know people way more prideful than you” responses.  I’m not comparing myself to them—that’s not where my standard is set.

John Calvin makes an eloquent analogy in The Institutes of the Christian Religion. Calvin says that when we compare ourselves to things on this earth, when we are looking down at this terrestrial place, we’re pretty pleased with our “own righteousness, wisdom and virtue; we address ourselves in the most flattering terms.”  It’s true—when we set our eyes on the earth, it’s easy to become prideful—we’re comparing to something below us, something that can be attained.

Calvin finishes the analogy by saying when we look at the sun, everything here on earth looks dim.  The earth “is instantly so dazzled and confounded” when comparing it to the effects of looking at the sun.  If we look to God and compare ourselves to Him, it is infinitely more difficult to become prideful.

We’re nothing compared to Him.  He makes the sun rise in the morning.  I can’t make myself rise in the morning.  He’s perfect in every way.  I’m imperfect in everything I do outside of Him.  He created E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.  I can’t create an omelet.

We humans are innately prideful; we’re born into it, and it’s not easy to shake.  We must stop looking to the earth and set our eyes above.  We must look to the Lord and humble ourselves like the tax collector.

I can’t do it alone.  I pray for humility daily.  It’s the first thing I say when people ask, “What can I pray for you about?”  So I’m asking a favor of you.  Call. Me. Out.  Don’t ever let me be prideful in any venue—on the Interwebs or in person.  Humble me.  Knock me down.  Ask me, “Is that what Jesus would do or say?”  Don’t let me get away for even a gleaming second of arrogance.  I’m looking for humility at all costs—no holds barred.

Remember Luke 18:14: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Finally, ask yourself, “Am I the tax collector or the Pharisee?”  If you’re the Pharisee, what are you going to do about it?  If you’re the tax collector, are you sure?

I couldn’t simply write a post on saying yes without following up with a saying-no post—I’d never want you to think that I’m a Yes! Man without that important, two-letter word in my vernacular.

At any rate, I struggle with no at times, but for good reasons (as you saw yesterday); however, I do work up the courage to utter the tiny word when:

• Other things I’m doing would suffer—As busy as I am, I honestly don’t feel any of my obligations detract from each other.  I have conflicts that force me to choose one thing over another at times, but that rarely occurs; however, if I know that saying yes to something will stretch me out to the point of hurting something else I’m a part of, I most certainly say, “No.”
• It conflicts with my long-term goals—It’s so easy to get wrapped up in things when they seem like a good opportunity in the short run, but in the long run they end up poorly. I always make sure I look at things through a telescope—making sure my decision will coincide with my goals in the future.
• It mixes unpleasantly my values—If I’m presented with something that questions my values, I say no—flat out.  At times, I make mistakes, no doubt about it, but when I realize up front that something conflicts with the guidelines I live my life by, it’s an auto-no.
• It compromises my integrity—If an opportunity would potentially put me in a position to jeopardize my character, I say no.  No matter the reason, if I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, even if it’s to help someone out, I won’t do it.  Integrity is like a china dish—easy to break, tough to repair.
• I can’t be fully invested—When I get involved with something I always end up (at least) knee deep in it—and that’s how I like it.  I can’t half commit—it’s just not me.  I avoid being a part of something if I can’t give it 100 percent effort.
• It would keep others from an opportunity—I’ve been blessed with overflowing chances to be involved with great things and great people.  Unfortunately, others are not as lucky at times.  If I know someone else could take better advantage of the same opportunity as me, I always say, “No” in an effort to spread the wealth of opportunities.

Once again, this is by no means a list that contains all of the instances when I say, “No.”  As you’ll notice, this list is a bit shorter than the yes list—and for good reason.  Saying yes is almost always a better idea (unless it’s on your no list).

Believe it or not, I struggle with telling people “No.”  When important people (or even complete strangers at times) in my life ask something of me, I rarely tell them I can’t do it.  Let’s clear some things up before we proceed—the things I’m asked are hardly ever peer pressure situations that would result in a bad outcome—I’ve been able to surround myself with people who don’t do that (and here’s how I did that).

The things I’m asked range from amazing opportunities to get involved with organizations to requests to grab some java and talk about life.  I’ve got my hand in just about every cookie jar I come across, mostly because I like trying new things, partly because I just love cookies.

At any rate, the following are times when I almost automatically say, “Yes!” to requests, and my reasoning behind it.  I say, “Yes!” to people when:

• It’s something I love—I think this is the number one reason why people over commit.  It’s the reason I’m eye-ball deep in things to do on a regular basis; however, there’s not a single thing I do that I don’t love, and people keep giving me opportunities to do awesome things.  My major, my classes, my jobs, my organizations—I’m involved with all of them because I have a passion for them (and because I was presented with an opportunity).  The problem is, my list of passions is growing.  If you don’t know what you love, check out this post and figure it out.
• It’s a worthy cause—I just can’t say no when I’m presented with an opportunity to get involved with a group working towards an incredible goal.  The reason I’m a part of the organizations I’m involved with on campus is a direct reflection of this—they are all working towards changing things and people for the better (in my humble opinion).  When I see the potential in a group, when I have a vision of where it will be down the road, changing lives in some way or another, I get excited.   When I can see the vision of a group being played out in my mind, I get involved (and I never regret it).
• Other great people are involved—If I know I have an opportunity to meet with other passionate people and attempt to achieve lofty goals with them, I all but automatically jump on board.  When you get a chance to work with stellar people that you can learn from, it’s tough to pass up (and it’s a bad choice if you do).
• It’s a rare opportunity—I had an unusually busy week a mere seven days ago, and I was looking forward to a break on Saturday; however, I was presented with an opportunity to attend a Leadership Symposium and luncheon with two great speakers and, of course, free food.  I could have said no, but this was a one-time thing—and I would have missed out big time if I said passed that up.
• I can grow from it—Taking advantage of an opportunity that I know is going to challenge me, stretch me and grow me is a no brainer.  I’m on cruise control with my “Yes, please!” responses when I see a chance to be stretched, molded, and challenged to become better.
• I have the time—Sometimes I get an opportunity to do something that is a bit out of the norm for me, but I (in rare circumstances) have the time to do it.  Why not check it out?  Who knows what I’ll discover when I’m doing something other than trying to work through the entire Netflix collection or taking a 4-hour long nap (that’s just never long enough) in my free time.
• Someone needs my help—I think this is far and away my biggest soft spot (and something I’m quite proud of).  If someone is struggling or needs to talk or just wants a friend around, I’ll never say no.  I’ll shift my schedule, move appointments, put life on hold to help someone who needs it, because people helping people is what it’s all about.

This list is not exhaustive; it’s really only the tip of the iceberg.  I understand that if you always said yes in each of these situations you’d barely have time to for sleep—but I promise, less shuteye is not so bad.

At some point in your life, you will probably be part of a team—a sports team, a work team, a school project.  Somewhere along the lines, you’re going to have to work with other people (scary, I know) and achieve something.  I’ve worked in plenty of teams, some vastly more exciting to be a part of than others.  Along the way, I’ve learned what makes a great contributor.  Here are my 11 tips to turn into the Scottie Pippen of your team.

1. Think team first. You are all in this together.  It’s not all about you (reread those last two sentences over and over).  Act in a way that is best for the team, even if that’s not the best for you (in your opinion).
2. Make sacrifices. You’re going to have to compromise to reach agreements, and you’re going to have to put off other work to help the team out.  Other people are depending on you—don’t let them down.  Don’t miss meetings because you were hanging out with your girlfriend (or blogging).  Nobody likes “that guy.”
3. Play to your strengths.  If you’re a great organizer, manage the team’s deadlines and paper work.  Every once and a while feel free to mix it up and try something you want to get better at, but you haven’t quite mastered.  Watch your teammates and pick up on their skills so you can bring even more to the table.
4. Know your role. Don’t step on toes and try to take other roles without asking.  If you’re the leader, be the leader; don’t just stand around waiting for someone do your job.  Know what your piece of the puzzle is, use the corner pieces, and fit in where you belong.
5. Don’t do everything. Don’t try and be the Superman of your team.  You can’t fly, don’t have laser vision, and you can’t leap tall buildings in a single bound.  You’re going to burn out, especially if it’s a big, long project—I’ve been there.  You can’t do everything (that’s your kryptonite)—it’s team work because one person can’t do it alone.
6. See the big picture. Take a step back and look at what you are trying to achieve.  Make sure what you are doing is adding to the overall goal of the project or team.  Don’t get caught up in the trees when you need to see the forest.  If you can’t see the end to your means, you’re going to lose focus and probably end up wasting time coloring in black and white slides when you could have unchecked grayscale.
7. Come prepared. There’s nothing worse than a team member that isn’t prepared for meetings, due dates, or presentations.  Do. Your. Work. No one wants to babysit, so put on your big-boy pants and come prepared.
8. Help others out. If you see someone struggling, ask if you can offer some assistance.  If they accept, give them a hand with what they are doing.  If they are too stubborn to take your advice, vote them off the island.  No, but seriously, collaboration is king so make sure everyone knows you’re in it to win it (I couldn’t resist).
9. Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your team when you’re stuck and need a hand to get out of the waist-deep quicksand.  I’d much rather take the time to help out a team member that’s a bit lost early on.  It’s much trickier to correct things later or not be able to fix it at all because they were too scared to speak up.  Don’t be prideful—admit you’re struggling and ask for some advice.
10. Create community. Depending on your amount of time on the team, you’re going to be working pretty closely with others pretty regularly for a decent period of time.  Don’t always be focused on work; get to know each other and work to genuinely enjoy getting together.  It’ll make the experience much more exciting for everyone (and it’ll keep arguments from erupting that lead to not speaking ever again).
11. Finish strong. It’s so easy to get burnt out at the end of a project (or a blog post).  If you pace yourself, you’ll be able to turn on the warp-drive afterburners at the end of your run, and your team will love that.  Many start the race, but very few finish strong.

Have you ever known someone who was so out there, so different, so distinctly contradictory to the norm that you wanted to know what was at their core—what they believed and why the acted the way they did?

Have you ever been that person?  Have you ever acted in a way so unselfishly, with such a servant’s heart that people said, “Why are you doing this?”

What if we all acted that way?  What if for one day we put ourselves at the bottom of the totem pole?  What if we acted in a love so unbelievable people noticed we were focused on something outside of ourselves?  What if we acted as if deep down in our hearts, at our innermost point, there was something so unshakeable that we could act radically different because of our faith in that?

What if we lived every day like a follower of Christ that had more love than we knew what to do with?  What if we served and loved our friends and families and strangers so much that they could almost see the love oozing from our pores?

What if we paid for a stranger’s lunch, or picked up someone’s books after they dropped them, or let someone with 100 things at the grocery store go ahead of us buying a single pack of gum because they look rushed?

What if we genuinely asked people how they were doing and cared about the response? What if we went out of our way to call someone we know is hurting just to tell them they are loved?

What if we looked beyond material things and acted as if nothing on this planet mattered more than the creator of it and the people he put on it?

What if you did all of those things and through your love and actions and faith in Jesus Christ you were used to draw people to the Lord?

What if I told you that’s how we should live every day?

Over the past few days, the idea of embracing failure has been pounded into my head like a loose nail into a 2 by 4.  That was kind of graphic.  I apologize, but really, it’s an important idea to drive home.

I’m taking an entrepreneurship class and the professor told us that falling short in a startup business is by no means a failure.  He said as long as you learn from your experience there’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Why isn’t that our approach to everything?

To fail, you have to take a risk. You risked not doing your homework, so you got an F.  You risked not finishing a project, so you were fired from your job.  Those are bad risks.  They don’t make sense, but we take them every day.

No one likes taking big risks. It’s scary. It’s unknown. It could potentially lead to failure.  And what happens when you fail?  Is it the end of the world? Is that the point of no return?

Not even close. It’s just the point where you bounce back. Failure is a learning pit stop; it’s not the end of the road.

If you don’t take chances, you will not be better than average. Fight me on that one.  You’ll go through life subscribing to the norm, jamming square pegs into square holes, doing as little as possible to stretch yourself and grow.  You’ll settle for mediocrity when an opportunity for greatness is on the table.

Say you take a good risk (relative term). What if you tried to connect with a guy vastly different from yourself to positively influence him?  If you fail, well, you are now in the same boat you started in.  But if you succeed, who knows what kind of impact you might have on that person’s life?

If it doesn’t work out, you gave it your best shot but that job, or club, or activity just isn’t for you.  Pick up the pieces and move on. A month from now, no one will even remember that you stumbled.  Honestly, you might even forget.

We’re so accustomed to staying inside of our comfort zones.  We avoid challenges like the plague.  We ask ourselves “why?” instead of “why not?”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love to fail.  “Find time to fail” is not on my to-do list.  No one likes that feeling; however, it shows that you were willing to take a chance. You decided you were going to push the envelope of your abilities.

Embrace it when it happens, learn from your mistakes, and then move on (hopefully to your next risk).  At the end of the day, whether you fail or succeed, your Father, friends and family still love you—and really, that’s all that matters.

Why are you just coasting through life settling for average? Why aren’t you taking risks in talking to people, in taking challenging classes, in pushing far beyond what you ever thought you were capable of?  See the success in failure—all you have to do is open your eyes.

Going with the flow is easy.  It’s easy to sit back and watch things play out when we don’t want to get involved.  It’s easy to keep things in equilibrium and refuse to stir the waters.  It’s easy to let bad things happen if a precedent has been set.

This past week I had a chance to hear a talk from Colonel John Venable, a former officer in the United States Air Force.  John shared stories of his experience in the military, and he specifically highlighted a few stories about his challenges when stepping in to new positions.

John was the leader of the Thunderbirds—a prestigious wing of the military that, for a long time, thought they were above the rules.  He wasn’t ok with that—and he was dedicated to changing things.

John forced his guys to start “coloring inside the lines”—playing by the rules that were disobeyed for so long.  His changes were unpopular.  He changed the culture of a team that had been cultivated for many years.  He put his career in jeopardy for doing the right thing.  Today, he has no regrets about any of his tough decisions.

John had to deal with unbelievable conflict and disgusting politics within his own team.  It would have been much easier for him to sit back instead of standing up.

Isn’t it always that way?  When someone does something you know is wrong, doesn’t the thought of just letting it slide always run through your head?  You think to yourself, “I know that’s wrong, but I hate confrontation.  I’ll just let it go this time, but if it happens again…”

And then it happens again.  And again.  And it gets easier and easier to let it go.  You don’t stand up.  You watch things you know are wrong happen over and over, and you become desensitized to it.  You become numb to the iniquity.

When you know something is wrong, something that has happened for a long time or something you recently became aware of, you have two choices.  You can watch the wrongs occur.  Take the easy way out and say nothing.  You can stand still, knowing something is amiss and keep your mouth shut because you’re too scared to challenge it.

Or you can stand up and call it out.  Yell at the top of your lungs that it’s wrong and you’re not going to take it.  Challenge the norm, swim upstream, shake things up.  Do it because it’s right, not because it’s painless.  Will it be hard?  Absolutely.  Will you regret it? Not a chance.

When you know something is wrong don’t just stand around and witness it.  Do something. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of

Being the first week of school for some, and only a few weeks in for a few others, I couldn’t think of a better time to give my insight on making a great first impression. Once again, totally my opinion, totally based on no solid research, and totally under no guarantee (but if I had some way to give you a mulligan if these tips didn’t work, the do-over would be all yours). Without further ado, 11 tips to woo new friends on the first try (or potentially to make things right in the second meeting if you already botched the first).

1. Give a good handshake. I could write a whole post on the terrible handshakes I’ve been subjected to (dead fish, early grip, wrong hand, fancy pants, too many shakes, bone crushing—the list goes on).  When you meet someone, grab his hand like you mean it (but not to the point of it hurting—it’s a handshake not the opening of an MMA bout), and give one good shake. Boom. You just rocked their world because at last count, one out of every 100 people knows how to properly meet another human being (If you can’ tell, I get heated about handshakes).
2. Remember their name. It’s a fact that anyone’s favorite word is his or her name.  People love to hear it. So use it…a lot.  I always repeat someone’s name back when I meet them—it seems to make the name stick a little bit more.  Work their name in to the conversation to show you’re talking right to them.  Remember it for no reason outside of avoiding that terrible feeling you get when someone knows your name (and people will remember you because you’re about to make a great first impression) and you forget theirs.
3. Listen more than you talk. This is a given.  If you haven’t figured this one out by now, it’s probably the reason your new “friends” that you had a great conversation with haven’t called you back for that cup o’ joe—they’d rather be able to get a word in than get a free skinny latte.
4. Be genuinely interested. When you take an interest in someone, it shows.  Don’t worry about talking about yourself—do everything you can to make the other person feel like he’s all that matters.  How do you show interest?  Great question!  Which brings me to…
5. Ask good questions. Show that you are really interested in what they are saying.  Don’t let them just graze over minor details.  One of my favorite questions is, “What’s your dream job?”  People will remember that.
6. Don’t interrupt. There is nothing more frustrating than someone who cuts you off to get a word in.  Wait it out.  If what you said doesn’t apply when they are finished talking, say something else.  Conversations are free form—so, go with the flow, my friends.
7. Look them in the eye. It shows you’re paying attention.  If you are looking around when they are talking, you look like a bored toddler that has to go potty.  Embrace the eye contact (even if it’s a little intense)
8. Know about their hobbies. It’s a good thing to be a jack-of-all-trades at times.  If you know a little bit about a lot of things, you can easily talk to someone about their somewhat obscure renaissance-fighting hobby that you know just enough about to follow their jargon about chainmaille.
9. Find a mutual friend. One of my favorite things to do when I meet someone new is to figure out who our “Mutual Friends” are (thanks, Facebook). I always start by asking where they are from so I can think if I know anyone from their home town. This world is much more connected than you’d think. Finding people you both know will give you more common ground (whether either of you is crazy about the person you know is a totally different story).
10. Follow up with them. If you see the person you just met later make sure you 1.  Call them by name. 2.  Ask how they’ve been. 3. Ask about an important thing you discussed before.  The three-step process to being their new best friend—and it couldn’t be easier.
11. Be remarkable. Pretty much a given here—if you are a remarkable person, you’re going to make a great impression (I know, I’m hooked on the remarkable thing, but I can’t hide the truth).  Be a person who cares about others, and you’ll be amazed how quickly they’ll be talking about what a great guy or gal you are.

Try these out.  If they don’t work, I’ll personally write a reference letter to the person you rubbed the wrong way (or be a character witness in your trial).

This post is a follow up from Monday’s post—“Nobody Likes a Chameleon”

Thanks to all of you who gave me feedback that led to this impromptu follow-up post.  Monday was one of the busiest days my blog has seen yet, and I appreciate all of you who said to your friends, “Check it out!  This is good stuff!” or  “Look at this!  What an idiot!”  Either way, much appreciated.

I apologize for not being clearer in my post on Monday.  I’m going to take this time to sort out exactly what I was getting at (because I did a poor job of that in round one).  After looking back, instead of trying to be trendy and clever, I should have simply called Monday’s post “Don’t Be a Hypocrite.” I think the extra bit of frankness would have alleviated a whole lot of issues.  For my ambiguity, I apologize.  Nevertheless, here’s my follow up.

On Monday, I was trying to emphasize that you should always be true to your values and what you say you are about (as I mentioned in this post).  Don’t claim to be one thing in front of certain people and be just the opposite in front of others.  Have the integrity to walk the talk no matter what situation you are in.

An easy example—don’t claim to be a Buckeyes fan when you are in Columbus and a Michigan fan when you are in Ann Arbor (Ok, you could argue and say “But I like them both!”  To that I would say, “If you were a true fan of either, you most certainly would not like them both).

Greg (and Mike) brought up a great point in the comments by citing 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 as Paul tells those in Corinth to adapt to their environment and blend in with those around them.  That’s something I totally overlooked.  Paul most certainly is not saying change what is at your core when you are around different people—he’s saying learn how to get along with those around you, but stay true to what you believe.  I completely agree, and I apologize for skimming over this point.

If you are with your friends who enjoy football, don’t try and talk about poetry.  Enjoy the game with them, talk about sports, and use your common ground to influence them and impact them.  Certainly adapt, but don’t change your true colors (prime example of why I shouldn’t have used chameleon and instead should have bluntly said hypocrite).

John wrote me a great email bringing up another point.  He did a great job of explaining it, but for the sake of brevity, I’m going to paraphrase.  Basically, John told a story of a friend of his named Mike who loved Chevy cars but hated Fords and Plymouth/Chryslers.  John and Mike met an old friend at an auto show named Bob, who, surprisingly, had a car at the show.  When Bob showed the car to Mike and John, John said it was a beautiful Plymouth that “looked like it had just rolled out of the showroom.”  John admired it, but he was afraid Mike would say he hated it; however, Mike said it was one of the best-looking Plymouths he’d ever seen.

John also offered a simpler example:

You’re at a friend’s house, with a lot of folks. You see how much time and effort the hostess went through to put on this little gathering. She stops and offers a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. You take one and take a bite, only to be overwhelmed with bitterness about it. You wish you had a napkin or bush or anywhere to dispose of this bite. You look up at the hostess who has worked so hard and appears to be so proud, and she asks with a smile, how are they?

Great point—even though you don’t like Plymouths or can’t stand the cookies, should you be blunt and say that?  I wouldn’t. There is a fine line between common courtesy and chameleonism (take that, Webster).

The instances John gave are times when you should use tact.  In the first example, had Mike said “Plymouths are my favorite cars” to Bob, I’d say that’s being a chameleon; however, Mike handled the situation extremely well, and gave his honest opinion about the car.  As far as the cookies go, there’s no need to get on a soapbox there and proclaim that they are the worst you’ve ever had.  Simply choke it down, kindly decline seconds, and maybe tell the host in private (if you’re so inclined).  There’s no sense in embarrassing people publicly because of your opinions on things that are by no means life or death.

I hope that this erases any ambiguity.  If there is anything I missed, please let me know.  Thanks again to all of you who gave me feedback.  Keep me honest in my posts, call me out when I’m wrong, and ask me to elaborate anytime there is anything I’m not clear about.

Are you overwhelmed with fear?  Fear of natural catastrophes?  Fear of the unkown?  Fear of life after death?

Max Lucado’s latest piece of outright artwork, Fearless, gives you reason to cast away your fears.  In the book, fear is exposed what it really is: an opportunity to strengthen your faith and overcome the unwarranted sensation that makes us check under the bed for the boogie monster.

Lucado maneuvers you through the world of fear like a guide on a jungle safari—showing us how to hack away at the unjust emotion in front of us so that we can face each day without worry.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough.  I honestly feel like I’ve been missing out on so much by not picking up a Max Lucado book on the first day I learned how to read.  It challenged me to view fear in a whole new light—to approach it with confidence and courage.  Lucado’s insight, writing style, and sense of humor will keep you the book glued to your hand (so don’t pick it up if you have to drive anywhere, or you don’t have about six straight hours to pound it out).

Who should read it? Anyone with fear in his or her life: from the minute to the overwhelming.

Who shouldn’t read it? Even the self-proclaimed fearless can get something out of this book.

Worth the price? You’ll regret not buying this.  Don’t get on the library waiting list—order it and make sure you have a highlighter handy.

There is now a follow up to this post that clears up some ambiguity here–”Nobody Likes an Ambiguous Blogger“

Yesterday I was asked the question, “So do you party at night and then get up for church the next morning?  Because that would be tough.”

I responded by saying, “I don’t, but people do.  I don’t recommend it, and I certainly don’t wish that upon anyone.”   Tough is such an understatement, my friends.

I tried to be that guy who was friends with everyone—the guy who acted a certain way around some people, and acted a different way around other people.  I was a fake and a fraud—a total phony. I lived a double life, and I hated it.  I had to put on a different mask wherever I went and hoped that I didn’t see anyone who knew me as one person while I was acting like a different one.  It was a nightmare.  It tore me up.

So, I gave that up.  There is only one Jordan now.  Day or night, summer or winter—what you see is what you get. Do I still try and befriend everyone?  Absolutely.  Do I change who I am or compromise myself in anyway to become more likable?  Absolutely not.

You can’t be all things to all people. If you are, you’re a fake.  You can’t be trusted.  You don’t even know who you are, and certainly no one else does.  (You probably didn’t like that.  I apologize, but I know this from first-hand experience.)

Joe Ehrmann, an NFL star from the 70’s and the reason for the book Season of Life (thanks, Yokum) calls it revolving integrity.  No matter which way you turn, or what situation you’re in that turns you, people will see that you have the same integrity in every situation.  The circumstances may change, but you are the constant—the same no matter what.  You might not please everybody, but you’ll be real.  You won’t have to try to fool anybody.

If you’re trying to fool people (Yes, I’ve tried.  No, it didn’t work), I’d like to share with you a bit of wisdom Honest Abraham Lincoln passed on to me (via my dad)

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

I can’t tell you who to be—that is your decision to make.  But for your sake, just be one person because nobody likes a chameleon.

I’ve learned that in distance running, you can always go a little bit further.  When I’m running on the street I say, “I can make it to that next mailbox…to the light pole…to the stop sign.  Just a little bit further.”

Before you know it, you’ve strung together a couple dozen “just-a-little-bit” furthers, and you’ve got an extra mile under your belt.

It’s undoubtedly easier to quit.  You can say, “Well, look how far I’ve gone already.”  You might have pushed yourself hard—gone further than you ever had before,  but you didn’t go as far as you could.  You had more in the tank.  You were complacent with very good instead of great.  You copped out because you were looking back.  You were looking at what you had done instead of seeing the potential in what you could do.

Doing an extra repetition or two with weights in the gym or taking a few extra steps in a run is a mental thing.  You can fight whatever weakness your feeling, whatever fleeting moment of excruciating pain—you can make it through.  You’ll be sore the next day, but if you ask me, that’s the best feeling in the world.

Physically pushing yourself in training is the only way you can continue to improve.  If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

Let’s “take an extra step” here and apply this to how you live your life.  In what areas are you pushing yourself to be better?  Are you going as hard as you can, or are you looking in the rearview mirror thinking, “I’ve already done so much?”

Are you proud that you’ve been connecting with a handful of people each day?  Or are you challenging yourself to say, “I can do a little bit more.  I can help one more person.  I can send one more card, one more text, give one more pat on the back—share just a tiny sliver of more love.”  You called five friends to say you were thinking of them today?  Great.  Now call another one.  You bought lunch for a stranger last week?  Excellent.  Buy lunch for two this week.

Don’t settle for what you’re already doing because that is not your limit.  Push yourself each day—one step at a time.

I have been blessed to be surrounded with absolutely incredible, Grade A, fantastic people in every city I’ve been in over the past year.  Today, I’m saying goodbye (for about the 20^th time) to those I’ve known the longest.

After a whirlwind adventure from Athens to Columbus to Akron, I’m going back…home.  It’s true—there’s no use in pretending any longer.  My home is in Athens, but don’t think my heart isn’t still in The Rubber (and also the Capital) City.

I can’t even put into words how excited I am to get back to Athens, but it is no doubt a bittersweet goodbye.  I love Columbus.  I love Akron.  I love where I am no matter where I am.

I most certainly attribute that to the people, but I’d also chalk it up to contentment.  I could very easily sulk through my days missing my family and my friends in other cities.  I could wallow in pity and loneliness, missing those I’ve left behind (for now), or I could be content where I am.

Sure, I miss my home and my friends there (and my church there, my family there, my neighborhood there—you get the idea).  Sure, I miss my compadres in Columbus and all that I left there.  Unfortunately, missing those things doesn’t change anything about my circumstances.

You have to be thankful for what you have wherever you are.  Much to my chagrin, I can’t take my favorite people with me to every city.  I’d love to, honestly, but until all of you agree to uproot and move around the state about three times a year, you’ll have to settle for “Wish you were here!” e-cards.

Even if my surroundings are always changing, I’m grateful for them.  I might not always have my best friend, or be able to order my favorite pizza, or get the chance to spend time in a big city, but I know I have a God who will provide no matter where I am.  Paul says in Philippians 4,

“…¹¹I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Christians are quick to quote the latter part of that verse and forget why Paul says it.  It’s because he has learned to be content.  He knows that no matter what, God is going to work in and through him—whether he is hungry or full (or fill in the blank for your location or situation).

Be content.  Love where you are, and be confident that your situation is exactly what you need.  Whether you know it or not, you’re there for a reason.

Growing up as an only child, I didn’t have anyone comparing me. I never heard, “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” or “Your older sister wouldn’t do that.” Nevertheless, through some birth-order anomaly, I became super competitive.

I was constantly comparing myself to others. They had better grades than me or a nicer car. They had more Pokemon Cards or a bigger Power Ranger collection. I was never content when I was looking at what others had or what they were accomplishing.

What’s the solution to unhealthy competition, discontentment, and all-around disappointment? Don’t compare yourself to others. If we don’t have a standard of other people to compare ourselves to, how can we know when we fail?  Why would we be disappointed with what we own if we weren’t comparing to what others have?

There’s not a single person on this planet we should be comparing ourselves to. They have their own problems, their own faults, their own issues and their own debt (whether you can see it all or not).  Comparison is what robs us of our joy (Thanks for that quote, Sara Potter).

Not only does it make us unhappy, but it doesn’t make sense.  Comparing ourselves is like comparing apples to oranges.  We all come from different backgrounds, situations, and circumstances.  We are all completely unique.  We’re all different, so what is there to compare?

For Christians, the only thing we should be comparing ourselves to is our Heavenly Father. We shouldn’t say, “I think I show more love than that guy does, and he claims to be a Christian.” Our faith isn’t a competition. It’s a relationship about pursuing a life that mirrors the one Jesus Christ lived on this Earth.

As Paul said to the Corinthians, “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” (2 Corinthians 10:12)  Those who compare themselves against each other are not wise–they are fools.  I pity the fool who compares.

We shouldn’t compare ourselves to each other because it makes us foolish, but we also shouldn’t compare ourselves to one another because God, who knows everyone, doesn’t do that.  Jean Potter sent me this quote this morning, and it’s dead on.

Just think, you’re here not by chance, but by God’s choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are. He compares you to no one else –you are one of a kind. You lack nothing that His grace can’t give you. He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.  –Roy Lessin

You (yes, you!) are one of a kind.  You’ve been given your own gifts, talents, and blessings because that was God’s plan all along.  If the Creator of this universe isn’t comparing you to over 6 billion other people, don’t you think you should refrain from the compare game?

Don’t compare yourselves to others.  Compare yourself to Christ.  Compare yourself to the plan God has for your life.  Live out the perfect purpose for your own life, not the blueprint of someone else’s.

We are bombarded with advertising from all angles every day.  Television.  Radio.  Billboards.  Magazines. Web.  Our lives are saturated with messages telling us what detergent to buy or why we need a Snuggie (for our dog).

In his book Purple Cow (which is absolutely filled with truth and will certainly be mentioned in many posts to come), Seth Godin points out that advertising today isn’t as effective as it was 30 years ago.  Marketing an ordinary product with tons of great ads doesn’t cut it any more.

If you want to sell something, you must have a remarkable product.  You can’t just create something ordinary and market it until the cows come home (no pun intended).

Companies can’t sell us anymore.  Friends sell us.  Word of mouth is stronger than any Palm Pre ad campaign with creepy ladies telling us about going with the flow.  If my friend tells me to read a book, I’ll probably pick it up.  If Blackberry shows me a U2 concert, I’ll probably just get confused.  I’m going to trust someone I know over The Man.  Companies give out hollow hopes like strangers in white vans pass out candy.

Organizations aren’t the only ones over hyping and under delivering. People do it every day.  Someone claims to be the best at something or puts on a show depending on who is watching.

Say for example one of your “friends” on Facebook posts an unusually deep thought or surprises you in some way by what they say in a conversation among mutual friends.  Say they intrigue you enough through their words that you decide to ask for a chat about life over a grande cup of over-priced, fair-trade coffee.

Hypothetically, you get together.  Say you spend time with someone you didn’t know very well, a mere acquaintance.  If he tells you what he’s all about before you meet (or more likely, you read his profile and make rash generalizations and wild assumptions based on the books he’s read, the shows he watches, and the pictures he’s taken), and builds himself up to be something he’s not, you’re going to see right through him when you actually get together.  It may take a bit of time, but the marketing façade will fade away once you get to know him—once you spend time with the real product.

You can no longer just say what you are about and expect people to believe it—you have to show them who you are through your everyday actions. If you want to influence people, you’ve got to be remarkable.  People will start telling other people about you  (in a good way) when you do things that are out of the ordinary—when you gravitate toward the edges of what is thought of as normal.

Don’t hype yourself.  Live a life worth talking about.  Be remarkable, and people will notice.

If you’ve never worked out before, you are not going to go crank out 5 miles on the treadmill or be able to bench 300 pounds.  You haven’t trained yourself for that.  You haven’t started.

Anytime I coax a friend who isn’t much into fitness into joining me at the gym or going for a little jog (that’s a soft “j”, I believe—pronounced yog), I often hear him say, “Well I won’t be able to run that far or lift that much.”  My response is always the same: “You’ve gotta start somewhere.”

If you’ve never done a math problem, how could you understand calculus?  If you’ve never used a computer, how could you build a website?

We are quick to expect impressive results before we even take the first step. You have to build a foundation to work up from if you want to get better at something.

The same is true in friendships as it is in fitness.  You can’t expect to have a deep friendship when you meet someone for the first time.  It’s like trying to lift more weight than you can handle—you might be able to do it once, but you’re probably going to get hurt if you press your luck.

It takes being intentional in what you do to get results.  If you work out on a schedule and have a plan for staying motivated and you follow through, you will get stronger, leaner, faster, etc.  If you call your friends, encourage them, send them notes, buy them lunch, give them books, tell them you are thinking about them, go out of your way to help them, the relationship will grow.

On the flip side, if you neglect a regimented training, or you don’t put work into relationships, don’t expect results of pure buffness or strong friendships.

Start something new or build on what you’ve got.  Don’t expect to be the Tiger Woods of friendship without hard work.  He’s great at what he does because he works harder than anybody else.  And you know what; there was most certainly a day when he couldn’t even hold a golf club.  The difference between then and now?  He started somewhere.

It’s the eve of my last day as a Columbus resident.  Even in this megapost, I can’t fully explain to you the amount of growth, enjoyment, and learning I experienced this summer.  I heard good things about the state capital, but I couldn’t have predicted the pure joy I would end up having here in the ‘bus over the past 11 weeks.

I’ve decided to give a shout out to some of my favorite things that made totally blew me away here in Columbus.  I’d love to give thanks to all of my 614 friends, but the list is too long, and I couldn’t do you all justice in a single post.  Quite frankly, friends, you were too good to me, and I was so blessed to have you around.

At any rate, to do David Letterman one better, here’s the “Top 11 Things That Rocked My-Summer-Socks Off in Columbus” (written as if all of the following inanimate items were actually human beings I could give a big-ol’-goodbye bear hug to).

11.  I-270.  For an Akron boy used to highways that run only North and South or East and West, you opened my eyes to the world of an interstate that runs in all directions. You took me around the entire city (literally).  You were my go-to route whenever I needed to get anywhere in the Columbus metro area, and I was often confused by your directional naming conventions.  I needed to go East, but you told me North.  I thought I wanted South, but you insisted on West. But at the end of the day, if I picked the wrong way, you’d always bring me right back to where I needed to go.  Thanks for being the most confusing circle in the history of shape-based highways.

10.  Neighbornet—When life gives you only an internet modem and not a wireless router, turn to your neighbor’s unlocked internet connection for all of your browsing needs.  Neighbornet, you’re one of a kind.  You treated me so well with your speed, constant uptime, and free, unlimited usage.  You let me onto your network and allowed me access as if you were my own.  We need more open connections like you in this world, my friend.

9.  Reading List—You turned an enjoyable hobby like reading into an expensive obsession.  I spent almost as much money on books as I did on food this summer, but you made it all worth it, Reading List.  With true gems like How to Win Friends and Influence People, Mere Christianity, Ultramarathon Man, and Season of Life, you expanded my knowledge like a bicep on steroids.  Kudos, Reading List, for keeping me up late and breaking the bank.  We’ve got a long, long future together.

8.  Netflix—I would have been a total nerd thanks to Reading List, but you made me a real tough guy with movies like Gladiator and A Few Good Men.  I streamed your wonderful HD-quality movies, and numbed my mind for hours upon hours after breaking mental sweats in the pages of books.  I used you sporadically, but you embraced my erratic-movie-watching habits.  You are totally worth the monthly fee I pay you to be my friend.

7.  Weekends—I lived for you, Weekends.  Whenever the 8-to-5 had me down, I knew you’d lift me up from the depths of the workweek for an incredible two-day, two-night adventure.  I can’t wait to officially make you three days long come this fall in the absence of Friday classes and real-world responsibilities.

6.  Kroger—You opened my eyes to the world of fresh produce and over-priced organic food.  Your free samples often tricked me into buying things I didn’t need, and your bright lighting allowed me to spend too many hours perusing your shelves and examining all of your nutrition labels.  My conversion to healthy eating wouldn’t have been possible without you.  For all of that, Kroger, I thank you.  You’ll continue to dupe me with your Kroger Card (which is the best marketing ploy ever) for a long time to come.

5.  Cardinal Health—As far as Corporate America goes, you’re pretty stinkin’ cool.  Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can see much of a future with us together (“It’s not you, it’s me”).   Cardinal, you would be at the top of my list for companies to spend the rest of my life with (or at least work for).  Great people, great environment, great future together (if I didn’t have the entrepreneurship itch).

4. Apartment—You showed the signs of wear and tear when I met you, but I nurtured you back to health.  You impressed friends and housed me and a couple great guys this summer.  You saw dinners and debates, feuds fueled and friendships formed.  Thanks for being a great shelter for the summer and for giving me two remarkable roommates I was blessed to share you with.

3.  Grace Brethren—I was an orphan and you scooped me up, dusted off my shoulders, and welcomed me in like I was family.  I met some absolutely amazing people through you, and I learned so much from your challenging teaching and fellowship this summer.  I won’t soon forget you or your community of believers.

2.  Blogging—This post wouldn’t be possible without you (bah-dum-ch).  I wrote you off before, but you’re back (for the right reasons), and I think you’re here to stay.  I’d love to make our relationship more professional, and maybe someday we can work that out.  For now, I’ll keep at you like a horse after a dangling carrot.  I’ve got a whole lot more to learn, and I know you’re going to help me sort out my thoughts in more megaposts just like this.  You’re the best soapbox I could ask for.  Thanks for welcoming this neophyte to the world of web logs.

1.  Friendships—You didn’t think I’d snub you in the midst of your namesake week did you?  The friendships I built this summer absolutely rocked my world.  It’s tough to make friends and develop relationships within a two-and-a-half-month timeframe.  Somehow, I was blessed with opportunities to meet so many extraordinary people and reconnect with some fantastic friends from the past.  Friends of Columbus, I wish you were coming with me, but I’m certain we’ll see each other again soon.  Thanks for the best summer I can remember—it would have been nothing without you.

If I had a list of books that should be required reading for all human beings, How to Win Friends and Influence People would be at the top.  It’s been over 70 years since its first publication, but Dale Carnegie’s timeless gem is still providing insight in the 21^st century.

Carnegie created the content for the book by giving talks in New York about public speaking.  The talks evolved into how to deal with people in different circumstances.  As Carnegie began providing more and more insight (and realized how little people really know about talking to one another) a publisher convinced him not everyone had time for a 14-week course on his valuable information.  So a stenographer took notes, and the book was born.

You might be thinking, “I already have friends and I don’t necessarily care about influencing people” (even though you should).  But that’s just the title of the book–not the total scope.  It’s about handling people in all types of situations.  Do you know how to get the best outcome in any argument?  Or how about how to make just about anybody like you?  Carnegie does, and he lets you in on his secrets.

The book doesn’t reveal anything truly revolutionary.  There isn’t any insight that you haven’t heard one way or another.  So what does Carnegie do to create one of the bestselling books in American history 915 million copies sold)?  He compiles the most important information about influencing people through some of the simplest methods of implementation and takes you for a ride along the way.

Carnegie provides anecdote on top of anecdote to emphasize his points.  Literally every single suggestion he makes is backed up by an example of it working quite flawlessly.  Oh, and he does it by telling us things we all know but don’t want to hear.

We’re selfish.  He says be humble.  We’re concerned about ourselves.  He says get over yourself.  We want to talk.  He says listen.  Nothing we don’t know, but it makes so much sense when he says it.

Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking.  Nine ways to change people without giving offense.  Seven rules for making your home life happier.  Those are just a few of the sections in the book—there is so much more than those tiny tips.  I met a guy who listened to the audio book literally every single day on his way to work.  It’s that good.

Applying all of these methods in your life will take you longer than digesting swallowed gum—but start small and I promise you will see the impact even a few minute changes in your approach to people will make.

Who should read it: Salespeople, the competitive, humble servants, aspiring world changers, anyone who wants to love people more and build stronger relationships

Who should stay away: Those who are content in loneliness, pride, and all-around-self-consumed humans disinterested in others

I’ve officially decided to dub this week, the final sevenish days of August “Friendship Week” at The Point of Impact. As I looked back at the friendships made and enhanced this summer and look forward to those I’ll be continuing at home and in Athens soon, I thought the idea was fitting.  If you disagree, start your own blog and make up your own week.

Last night, I had a chance to meet up with a fellow Akronite here in Columbus. It’s always refreshing to enjoy the company of a guy like Aaron Golby who shares a love for the Lord and the 330 like few others.  People always ask me, “What’s so awesome about Akron?  Everyone from there always talks about how great it is.” Home of LeBron James.  Rubber Capital of the World.  Bridgestone Invitational. Luigi’s.  The Roo at The U.  Outside of those things—it’s intangible.

At any rate, during our discussion last night, Aaron dared me to do something.  He dared me to go on a mission’s trip next summer.  When it comes to dares, I’m a bit like Marty McFly when somebody calls him chicken—I lose self-control and refuse to let it go.  It was a powerful challenge, and one I plan to prayerfully consider.

To say I was merely encouraged by Aaron’s dare would be a gross understatement.  You see, when you begin building close, personal relationships, your friends will see your potential.  They will see your growth.  They will challenge you to do things you may not have considered before.  Your finest friends are the ones who push you to be a better you.

We live in a society that wants nothing to do with accountability.  We want to do our own thing and have everyone mind their own business. Put up walls.  Fake relationships.  Live a compartmentalized life where some people consider you a saint and others trust you as far as they can throw you. We think it’s easier to live a life with no transparency where no one knows you, and you hardly recognize yourself when you look in the mirror.

I’ve been there.  I have lived that life.  I’ve built walls and refused to let people in.  And do you know what I’ve found?  That’s not true friendship.  That is garbage.  That’s camaraderie phonier than a handbag in Chinatown.  You will not have meaningful relationships if you don’t get vulnerable.

Be willing to share your mistakes and regrets.  Learn from your slip-ups and mishaps. We’re human—we’re supposed to screw up.  Grow together.  Lift each other up.  As Dwayne Wade (and the ancient Japanese proverb) says, “Fall down seven. Stand up eight.”

I challenge you to let people know the real you.  There is nothing better than a genuine friend.  Give me a friend who has screwed up and seemingly disappointed those around him countless times but is honest about his mistakes and is willing to open up any day.  As for the person who fakes their way through life, trying to come out smelling like roses without learning from the past, press the reset button and then come talk to me.

You can have water-cooler conversations for the rest of your life without letting someone in.  Or, you can build a community of fellowship—a brotherhood admired by those who see it at work.  Let people in. Challenge your friends to do great things.  I dare you.

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

About two weeks ago, I saw that quote on my buddy Tom Lawver’s Facebook.  It has resonated with me ever since.  That truth nugget is about as close as you can get to peering into the future.

I’m a firm believer in the fact that you are who your friends are.  I’ve run in quite a few different circles over the past 20 years, and the way I acted was a direct reflection of who my friends were.  It is very clear that when I look back on the last two decades, the time I was in the most trouble was when I was most deeply rooted in the wrong crowd.  “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

I went back and forth on whether I should share this next example with you, as I’ve only shared it with a handful of others. It’s a model that has helped me keep things in perspective, and I believe it’s too valuable to keep to myself.  I’m not saying this exact arrangement is right for everyone, but I strongly believe that it has allowed me to become the person I am today.

Over the past year, I’ve developed an idea I like to call my “Venn Diagram of Friends.”  For those of you who aren’t familiar, a Venn diagram is a simple, two-circle classification model that looks like this:

This Venn diagram encompasses my closest friends.  It is by no means a comprehensive view of those around me; it is, however, an inside look at the type of people I would consider my “inner circle.”  This example is an abstract way of looking at the amigos closest to me (in values, not proximity)—those I most strongly identify with.  They are the friends I surround myself with in order to build into them…and to allow them to build into me.

This two-dimensional view is not meant to demean anyone or to classify friends in a caste system.  It’s neither a hierarchy nor an all-encompassing look at those around me.  In fact, these circles (and the oval specifically) have more than enough room for everyone I know.  Imagine that these circles are elastic—they’ve got the ability to expand indefinitely.  They’re supernatural, limitless circles with boundaries stretching far beyond what you or I could ever fathom.

Okay, so you get what the circles represent, now here’s the explanation of the nature of the people who are in them.  On one side, I have my Christian friends—those I relate to spiritually and whom I can learn and grow with.  On the other side, I have my highly motivated friends—those who are dedicated to a cause and are willing to go to great lengths to achieve their dreams.  In the middle, where the circles overlap, are my friends who fall into each category.  That small oval is where I consider myself to be and where I am encouraging the two circles to supersede.

Please don’t misinterpret any of this: I don’t force anything on any of my friends from either side, or even on those friends and acquaintances on the outside.  Shoving my ideas and values down the throats of those around me is far from a motivating way to impact people. I simply attempt to live my life in the tiny (but ever-expanding) center of those two circles.

My endeavor to bring others into that sliver of figurative overlap isn’t concocted from any secret formula; I let my actions (and respectful, intentional conversations) generate curiosity and provide enrichment in an effort to pull others in like a gravitational force to be reckoned with.  I’m continuously working towards living a life that draws people in because they see the love, joy, and fulfillment that comes from the center.

If you believe strongly in the way you live your life, how can you do anything but encourage those around you to join in your efforts to change the world? Will everyone see eye to eye with you?  Certainly not.  Please don’t think this is my blessing to ostracize those who disagree with you.  Instead of writing those people off, engage them.  Let your actions speak for your views, instead of letting your words and hypocrisy send a mixed message.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

Find your oval (or join me in mine).  Live a life that attracts others to it.  You won’t believe how much room you’ve got in there.

I’ve never run a marathon—never put 26.2 miles together consecutively. I haven’t even run a half-marathon or registered for a 5K.

In the United States, about 450,000 people per year run a marathon. Next January, I’ll be one of them.

A lot of people say it’s crazy. I can’t disagree, but let me really tell you about crazy. Courtesy of my good friend Matt Galli, I recently read Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an All-Night Runner. The book is an autobiography by Dean Karnazes, a relatively ordinary guy with an unbelievable passion for running. Karno (as he is affectionately dubbed by his friends) tells his story of transforming from a regular, 8-to-5-Corporate-America citizen into the Ultramarathon Man.

He details his life and how running came to consume it. It’s an inspiring tale about overcoming rational limits in an effort to physically and mentally push yourself beyond what you could ever imagine. The book has encouraged me tremendously in my running life and has challenged my thinking on a lot of things–most notably pain.

Pain and suffering are often the catalysts for life’s most profound lessons.

Dean doesn’t run to win competitions (although he’s won the toughest race in the world). He doesn’t run for the fame or the glory (as there’s not much to be had in ultra endurance sports). He doesn’t run for the money. He runs in memory of his sister Pary. He runs to see how far he can push himself beyond the theoretical limits of the human body. He runs to help people.

Dean runs ultramarathons (any distance over 26.2 miles). He’s run: 135 miles through Death Valley in 120-degree temperatures, a 200-mile relay by himself, and 350 miles without sleep. He was the first person to run a marathon on the South Pole. He’s run 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days—and he’s no different than you or me.

I wasn’t born with any innate talent. I’ve never been naturally gifted at anything; I always had to work at it. The only way I knew to succeed was to try harder than anyone else.

It hurts me just as bad as anyone else. I’ve just learned an essential insight: your legs can only carry you so far. Running great distances is mostly down with your head..and your heart.

If you’re a runner looking for some extra motivation, or if you just want to push beyond the ordinary in your own life, pick up Ultramarthon Man.

If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself—expanding and learning as you go—you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip.