Being the first week of school for some, and only a few weeks in for a few others, I couldn’t think of a better time to give my insight on making a great first impression. Once again, totally my opinion, totally based on no solid research, and totally under no guarantee (but if I had some way to give you a mulligan if these tips didn’t work, the do-over would be all yours). Without further ado, 11 tips to woo new friends on the first try (or potentially to make things right in the second meeting if you already botched the first).

  1. Give a good handshake. I could write a whole post on the terrible handshakes I’ve been subjected to (dead fish, early grip, wrong hand, fancy pants, too many shakes, bone crushing—the list goes on).  When you meet someone, grab his hand like you mean it (but not to the point of it hurting—it’s a handshake not the opening of an MMA bout), and give one good shake. Boom. You just rocked their world because at last count, one out of every 100 people knows how to properly meet another human being (If you can’ tell, I get heated about handshakes).
  2. Remember their name. It’s a fact that anyone’s favorite word is his or her name.  People love to hear it. So use it…a lot.  I always repeat someone’s name back when I meet them—it seems to make the name stick a little bit more.  Work their name in to the conversation to show you’re talking right to them.  Remember it for no reason outside of avoiding that terrible feeling you get when someone knows your name (and people will remember you because you’re about to make a great first impression) and you forget theirs.
  3. Listen more than you talk. This is a given.  If you haven’t figured this one out by now, it’s probably the reason your new “friends” that you had a great conversation with haven’t called you back for that cup o’ joe—they’d rather be able to get a word in than get a free skinny latte.
  4. Be genuinely interested. When you take an interest in someone, it shows.  Don’t worry about talking about yourself—do everything you can to make the other person feel like he’s all that matters.  How do you show interest?  Great question!  Which brings me to…
  5. Ask good questions. Show that you are really interested in what they are saying.  Don’t let them just graze over minor details.  One of my favorite questions is, “What’s your dream job?”  People will remember that.
  6. Don’t interrupt. There is nothing more frustrating than someone who cuts you off to get a word in.  Wait it out.  If what you said doesn’t apply when they are finished talking, say something else.  Conversations are free form—so, go with the flow, my friends.
  7. Look them in the eye. It shows you’re paying attention.  If you are looking around when they are talking, you look like a bored toddler that has to go potty.  Embrace the eye contact (even if it’s a little intense)
  8. Know about their hobbies. It’s a good thing to be a jack-of-all-trades at times.  If you know a little bit about a lot of things, you can easily talk to someone about their somewhat obscure renaissance-fighting hobby that you know just enough about to follow their jargon about chainmaille.
  9. Find a mutual friend. One of my favorite things to do when I meet someone new is to figure out who our “Mutual Friends” are (thanks, Facebook). I always start by asking where they are from so I can think if I know anyone from their home town. This world is much more connected than you’d think. Finding people you both know will give you more common ground (whether either of you is crazy about the person you know is a totally different story).
  10. Follow up with them. If you see the person you just met later make sure you 1.  Call them by name. 2.  Ask how they’ve been. 3. Ask about an important thing you discussed before.  The three-step process to being their new best friend—and it couldn’t be easier.
  11. Be remarkable. Pretty much a given here—if you are a remarkable person, you’re going to make a great impression (I know, I’m hooked on the remarkable thing, but I can’t hide the truth).  Be a person who cares about others, and you’ll be amazed how quickly they’ll be talking about what a great guy or gal you are.

Try these out.  If they don’t work, I’ll personally write a reference letter to the person you rubbed the wrong way (or be a character witness in your trial).