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Why Most Problems Aren’t What They Seem—and What to Do About It I often want to get out the door faster than five little pairs of legs can move. I used to think that what kept us from leaving was my kids’ ability to move quickly. We’ll call that the apparent constraint. Many situations are controlled not by the apparent constraint but the actual constraint. The thing that looks like it’s holding us back—the apparent constraint—is rarely the real problem. It’s usually a deeper issue—the actual constraint—bringing it to the surface. ...

You know that thing you think will satisfy you? Maybe it’s something expensive but out of your reach. A new car or phone or computer. A promotion at work. A spouse. A home. A child. None of those are bad things. Many of them are worth pursuing and planning for. But none of them are going to fill that hole in your heart. A friend recently got a new phone, and I asked, “Did it make your life better in all the ways you hoped it would?” He laughed and told me no, and I said, tongue-in-cheek, “But you had to try, right?” ...

Stop praying for people. And start praying with them. What I’m suggesting might just change your relationship with everyone around you. Two and a half years ago, some friends from Finland introduced me to a new way of interacting with people through prayer. They encouraged me to not just pray for other people who share the same faith, but to start praying with people—even people who don’t pray, don’t share my same faith, or aren’t spiritual at all. ...

A young guy recently asked me, “What advice would you give someone trying to quit smoking?” I thought for a moment and said, “You have to invite people in. You’ve got to tell someone you trust, ‘Hey, I want to quit smoking, and I want you to regularly ask me how it is going. I want you to hold me accountable and help me quit. You’ve got my permission to ask, and I’d like to ask for your permission to call when I’m tempted and need to talk with a friend.’” ...

There’s a famous quote from Steve Jobs that I think about often: What a computer is to me is the most remarkable tool that we’ve ever come up with, and it’s the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds. — STEVE JOBS Whatever your mind could do before computers, it can go further and faster with less effort now. The analogy is even stronger because just as you have to learn how to ride the bike to actually use it, you need to know what you’re doing with a computer to move faster. But once you do, you can cruise a lot faster than your two feet can carry you. ...

Every so often, I have the sanctifying joy of disassembling our Bosch front-loader washer. This isn’t one of those joys like building a Lego set where everything clicks into place nicely. It’s more the type of joy that involves scraped hands, craned necks, and lots of opportunities for biting my tongue instead of grumbling. Here’s the thing: it’s my family’s fault. We have a tendency to keep copious amounts of change and a large amount of lint in our pockets, which all gets rattled out in the wash and then promptly stuck in the too-small-for-change-and-homemade-lint-creatures drain pipe. The tiny pipe is a design flaw, to say the least, because you have to literally remove half of the exterior of the washer and a fair amount of the interior to extract whatever abandoned your pockets, all while contorting yourself like a Cirque du Soleil understudy. ...

The seed of passion is curiosity. The seed of perseverance is patience. – RYDER CARROLL, The Bullet Journal Method Thinking about what seeds grow into made me stop and ask: What am I planting? Which seeds are leading to good fruit—and which ones are growing weeds? In a world where we buy food in cardboard boxes wrapped in plastic, a seed feels foreign or even outdated. But aside from meat, milk, and eggs, nearly everything we eat starts as a seed. It’s hard to see how a grain seed turns into ICEE cereal (yes, that’s real), but little seeds always produce a harvest—for better or worse. ...

The Fastest Way to Transcribe Something from Your iPhone—For Free Dictating text to your iPhone is one of my favorite ways to save time and save my thoughts, especially when I’m on the go. Whether you’re sending a message, writing an email, or drafting a blog post (like this one), it’s incredibly convenient to speak and have the words just appear on screen. Unfortunately, two problems typically occur: 1. Siri doesn’t quite nail it, so words get lost, and if you live overseas like I do, Siri might struggle with foreign languages or words; or 2. The dictation times out and just stops recording the words. ...

Our family experienced a crushing loss in December, and while the pain and grief continue to weigh us down, the response of the people God has placed in our lives has astounded us—in both the best and hardest ways. Surprisingly, one of the most challenging parts of grief is the response of the people around you—some rush to your side and provide emotional CPR keeping you alive through sheer kindness. Others practically pull the plug on your life support with thoughtless comments. ...

Oprah gets to tell everyone what her favorite things are, so I thought I’d do the same. These are the things that I keep coming back to, buying in bulk (where applicable), and heartily recommend after lots of wear and tear. Darn Tough Socks At some point in a man’s life, he realizes that holes in socks are inevitable and so continuing to pay for socks that are going to get holes in them is a bit of an endless cycle of disappointment. That is, until that man discovers Darn Tough Socks. These merino wool socks aren’t cheap (around $20 a pair), but they have a lifetime warranty. I’ve gotten holes in a few pairs, I ship them back to Darn Tough and they give me a credit to get new replacement socks. You’d think you’d save money with this system, but I’ve found it’s hard to stop buying these socks because they’re just that good. They feel and look great and the merino wool keeps your feet dryer and significantly less funky smelling. ...