It feels good to be remembered. It feels good to remember something you thought you might forget. Overall, remembering important things is pretty terrific.

But we have a lot to remember.

Birthdays. Anniversaries. Check the mail. Take out the trash. Call your mom. Text your friend. Finish that work project. Pay your bills.

We live in a complex world, and our minds simply don’t have the capacity to efficiently and effectively remember all we need to do when we need to do it.

So we make lists. Do this. Do that. Do this first. Do that last.

I’ve been thinking about automating intentionality. That is, reminding myself to remember things that matter, and then doing that thing that at the right time.

When I do those things, people feel loved. I feel loved when people intentionally remember important things about me or recall a passing remark or comment I made. Remembering makes us look like good spouses, friends, and children. Remembering is nice.

But automating our remembering of sentimental or important things–that seems a little sketchy on the surface. Does putting “Write a sweet, thoughtful note for my wife” as a recurring reminder cheapen the act? Can I put a task a week out to remind myself to “Text my friend and ask how his grandma is doing after her heart attack” without feeling like I somehow cheated the act of remembering to be a good friend?

In short, I don’t think so. The more I think about it, the better I feel about automating my intentionality.

Being deliberate means doing something on purpose. Doing it deliberately. So I deliberately put a task on my to-do list to remember to actually do it. Because my feeble mind simply can’t hold all the things I need it to.

Important things are worth remembering. And remembering helps us love people. So whether you tie a string around your finger, or put a task in Omnifocus to remind you in a week, or put a sticky note in your car, know that you’re not cheating. You’re being intentional.

Do whatever it takes to remember and be intentional.

No one ever asks how you remembered that special thing. But they’ll never forget how they felt when you remembered.