Of the things we do each day, the majority are things we’ve done before–hundreds or thousands of times before.
Our subconscious is constantly processing things for us so we don’t have to think about how to brush our teeth or shower or the way to drive to work.
Or how to be impatient with people who frustrate us or how to sit on the couch and watch Netflix instead of exercising or how to waste money on frivolous purchases.
For the last year and a half, I’ve been thinking a lot about habits. I’ve written about developing new ones and recorded a podcast on habits, and I’ve encountered a number of books focusing on these tiny building blocks that dictate so much of what we do.
I’m convinced that habits are one of the most important things we can focus on if we want to live a life of purpose, because they are a powerful force that are constantly moving us further and further in a direction and becoming more deeply ingrained with each passing day.
Just think about the things you do each day.
How many of them are truly new things? You likely eat similar foods for breakfast, take a shower at a similar time, hang out with some of the same people, ask the same questions, do repetitive tasks at work. And we don’t seek out novel ways to do things when we already have a way. I’m not trying to find a unique route to commute to work–I’m going the way I always go because it’s the easiest.
The classic quote,
“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”
emphasizes our habit for habits.
Good or bad, the more we do something the easier it is to do it again.
So how do we start making changes?
Start small. Do it daily. Swap the bad for good.
Leo Babauta shared what this looks like in the fitness arena. He suggests “leveling up” and starting at a point so simple it’s almost offensive.
The leveling up idea is a form of habit creep, a perfect name for building on tiny habits coined by James Clear. By starting with something incredibly small, totally doable, and building from there, you increase your likelihood of building lasting habits.
New Year’s Resolutions fail because we want to go from couch potato to marathon. We try to move from not-even-a-micro-blogger to a novelist in a single swoop.
The leap is too great and our habits are dug too deeply.
The easiest way I can think of to start making changes is to do the smallest thing possible that moves you toward your goal and do it every single day. That’s how I taught myself guitar. Start small, do it every day.
Ideally it follows something you already to every day, so that the new mini-habit becomes automatic. Start the new habit right after you wakeup, or right after a shower, or right after dinner. Whenever you decide you’re most likely to have the time and motivation to do it, connect it to a trigger so the process becomes automatic.
As Christine Carter says in The Sweet Spot
“Do a thirty-minute yoga video twice a week” isn’t a habit. It’s a to-do item for your task list because there’s no clear trigger and therefore no clear automaticity.
That was a huge paradigm shift for me. If I’m only doing something occasionally, with no clear trigger, it’s a to-do item, not a habit. And while good habits can be developed, I’ve never heard of good to-do items.
Phase 1: One Small Change, Every Day
To start, answer these two questions:
1.What’s the greatest change you want to make in your life?
2. What’s the tiniest thing that moves you closer to that change?
If it’s losing weight, just walk around the block one time. Just once, not twice. Not yet.
If it’s writing, write just one sentence.
Stronger relationships? Start by encouraging one person with one sentence.
A deeper relationship with God? 2 minutes reading the Bible.
After a week, increase everything a tiny bit. Two laps. Two sentences. Four minutes. Don’t try to make a big leap.
You aren’t doing yourself any favors by overcommitting and under delivering on the promises you’ve made to yourself. Slow and steady, my friend.
Phase 2: Swapping the Bad for the Good
Once you get into this new routine, then look for something that is actively working against your goal, and let that bad thing be a trigger for a good thing.
If it’s writing a book, then the time you normally waste when you should be writing should be your trigger to sit down and write.
If you’re trying to lose weight, when you’re tempted to eat junk food, do your lap around the block or drink a glass of water instead.
Once you’ve used that bad trigger to start doing that tiny thing that gets you closer to your goal, and you’re doing that with a majority of success, find another thing keeping you from your goal, and swap that out.
Little by little, swap the bad things or barriers to your habits with a tiny good habit that moves you closer.
Wrapping Up
This is all easier said than done. I don’t have this all figured out, but I really do believe it is this simple.
Start small. Do it daily. Swap the good for the bad.
These are the tiny dominoes that will lead to a massive chain reaction that won’t change your life overnight, but will change it tremendously over time.
When you’re building good habits, time is your friend.
Don’t try to become a super hero overnight.
Ambition is admirable but persistence pays off.
A life lived with consistency and focus on the right priorities leads to a life of purpose. Habits help you get there.