If you’ve never worked out before, you are not going to go crank out 5 miles on the treadmill or be able to bench 300 pounds. You haven’t trained yourself for that. You haven’t started.
Anytime I coax a friend who isn’t much into fitness into joining me at the gym or going for a little jog (that’s a soft “j”, I believe—pronounced yog), I often hear him say, “Well I won’t be able to run that far or lift that much.” My response is always the same: “You’ve gotta start somewhere.”
If you’ve never done a math problem, how could you understand calculus? If you’ve never used a computer, how could you build a website?
We are quick to expect impressive results before we even take the first step. You have to build a foundation to work up from if you want to get better at something.
The same is true in friendships as it is in fitness. You can’t expect to have a deep friendship when you meet someone for the first time. It’s like trying to lift more weight than you can handle—you might be able to do it once, but you’re probably going to get hurt if you press your luck.
It takes being intentional in what you do to get results. If you work out on a schedule and have a plan for staying motivated and you follow through, you will get stronger, leaner, faster, etc. If you call your friends, encourage them, send them notes, buy them lunch, give them books, tell them you are thinking about them, go out of your way to help them, the relationship will grow.
On the flip side, if you neglect a regimented training, or you don’t put work into relationships, don’t expect results of pure buffness or strong friendships.
Start something new or build on what you’ve got. Don’t expect to be the Tiger Woods of friendship without hard work. He’s great at what he does because he works harder than anybody else. And you know what; there was most certainly a day when he couldn’t even hold a golf club. The difference between then and now? He started somewhere.