I’ll never be a great woman. Fortunately I’m married to one, so my first-hand experience is enough to know what it takes.
I can’t tell my wife often enough how much better (and better off) I am because of her influence on my life.
Today she’s celebrating 27 years of living on this planet, and I wanted to share the significant lessons she’s helped me learn and ways she’s still helping me grow.
Acting Wisely
At times I have the sinful urge to give someone a piece of my mind (GSAPOMM), which, if it was a spiritual gift, I would be gladly exercising regularly.
Unfortunately, GSAPOMM isn’t exactly a loving or encouraging thing to do. So instead I just tell Niki I would like to GSAPOMM and she says something wise like,
“Is that a loving thing to do?” or “Do you think Jesus would give that person a piece of his mind?”
Sometimes I say, “I think in this situation Jesus just might do that,” but since I can’t be sure, I default to keeping that comment to myself.
Her helping me act wisely extends beyond stopping me from being an unloving jerk. She helps me make wise financial decisions, health decisions, and overall increases my wise decisions tenfold.
Balancing Grace and Truth
When it comes to grace and truth, I lean heavily toward truth. Niki, however, walks the tightrope beautifully, and has perfected the hug of grace with the nudge of truth.
She tells it like it is, but in a way that is fully loving. It’s an amazing balance she’s struck, and a perfect quality for a wife and mother. She exemplifies Jesus in the way she loves people with these two traits held in perfect tension.
Bringing Joy Everywhere
I laugh the most with Niki. We love to laugh and we do so together frequently. She also loves celebrating people, bringing even more joy and fun to everyone around.
She’s an easy person to have fun with because of how she lives out the 1 Thessalonians 5:16 mantra to “Rejoice always”. Our life is filled with joy in so many ways because of her orientation toward joy. What a difference in makes to lean in that direction and let it overflow into the lives of others.
How to Be an Encourager
No one encourages me more than Niki. She affirms me in a myriad of ways every single day. She regularly writes me notes, tells me how grateful she is for me, and specifically tells me ways she’s seeing me grow.
I feel like I can take on anything when she reminds me of the gifts God has given me. She’s a tangible example of God’s love for me in how she helps me see the best in me.
Her belief in me is so obvious, and she invests in me and my development by asking thoughtful questions, investing her personal money in helping me grow through books and resources, and goes out of her way to help me thrive.
I can encourage people better because of how she encourages me.
Increased Compassion
Compassion surely wasn’t the trait that won my wife over when we were dating. If compassion was a class, I would have been reading the Cliff’s Notes and barely skating by.
Because I care for Niki, I can’t help but be compassionate toward her, and seeing that being compassionate isn’t so bad, it made it a whole lot easier to extend that toward others.
But her compassion for others overflows, and I’m easily swept away by the love and care she feels for others.
I think, with her help, I could at least pass a class on compassion today.
Resting Well
I’m not a workaholic, but I could easily do something work related every day of the week. Niki helps me take a sabbath by pursuing godly rest herself.
She does an amazing job of doing things that give her life–like baking, hand lettering, going on walks, reading a book) and that reminds me that I need to do things that give me life so I can be fully charged for the week ahead.
She is so intentional about us resting well as a family to honor the Lord and to take care of ourselves, and I rest better because of her and whenever she’s around.
Seeing the Other Side
When I see things my way, I can rarely see how another human could possibly see things differently. Turns out, my way isn’t the only way (and certainly isn’t always the right way).
Niki helps me see what others could be thinking or feeling, because her and I approach things differently. She has helped me see things more clearly countless times. I appreciate her grace and wisdom in showing me the other side. (As an added bonus, she never rubs it in when she’s right).
Walking Closely with the Lord
I greatly admire Niki’s walk with the Lord. She faithfully reads the Word, journals her prayers and observations, and is constantly encouraging me through what she’s reading.
She’s almost always the first to suggest we start family worship after dinner, and the first to propose praying about something when we need more grace or wisdom or courage than we currently have on hand.
She boldly shares her faith with others, and she prayers fervently for the people in her life. I personally benefit in significant ways because of her pursuit of Christlikeness.
Wrapping Up
As you can see, I’ve got it really good, and I’m different man because of the years we spent together. This is just the tip of the iceberg, and she’s done all these things in a mere 27 years. Impressive.
She’s the definition of a great woman, and I thank God he’s given her to me for the journey we’re on together.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31:10