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In one of Disney’s greatest productions, Remember the Titans , the writers crackan egg of leadership knowledge all over our faces in the midst of a heated confrontation. The captain of the team, Gary, confronts another player, Julius, about his attitude and lack of effort. In turn, Julius says to Gary, “Attitude reflects leadership, captain.” If a group isn’t performing up to standards set by the leader, others, or those inside the group, the reaction is normally to ask, “What’s wrong with those people?” ...

America wants us to work towards a skewed definition of success. Step on as many toes as you have to. Burn all the bridges it takes. Just get to the top. Money will bring you happiness. Fame will cement your place in history. It’s wrong. It’s sad. It’s got to change.  We’re told we should always be striving for success instead of striving for greatness. In a terrific interview (which you need to watch), Cornel West says there is a very distinct difference between success and greatness. He said success is “worldly…financial gain….living in the vanilla suburb. It can become not only idolatrous, but poisonous to one’s soul.” ...

My name is Jordan, and I have a pride issue. I’m glad I got that out there. It feels good. I’m going to keep at this. I get too big for my britches, I think I’m better than I am, and I feel like I deserve what I have much more than I would ever care to admit. I’m working on that. Pray for me. Yesterday I had an opportunity to chat with a friend of mine about pride, and we studied Luke 18: 9 – 14. The scripture is a parable about a Pharisee and a tax collector. Essentially, the Pharisee is an arrogant, self-righteous, boasting dirtball (my words), who walks around with a sense of entitlement and thinks he deserves God’s grace and mercy. ...

I couldn’t simply write a post on saying yes without following up with a saying-no post—I’d never want you to think that I’m a Yes! Man without that important, two-letter word in my vernacular. At any rate, I struggle with no at times, but for good reasons (as you saw yesterday); however, I do work up the courage to utter the tiny word when: Other things I’m doing would suffer—As busy as I am, I honestly don’t feel any of my obligations detract from each other. I have conflicts that force me to choose one thing over another at times, but that rarely occurs; however, if I know that saying yes to something will stretch me out to the point of hurting something else I’m a part of, I most certainly say, “No.” It conflicts with my long-term goals—It’s so easy to get wrapped up in things when they seem like a good opportunity in the short run, but in the long run they end up poorly. I always make sure I look at things through a telescope—making sure my decision will coincide with my goals in the future. It mixes unpleasantly my values—If I’m presented with something that questions my values, I say no—flat out. At times, I make mistakes, no doubt about it, but when I realize up front that something conflicts with the guidelines I live my life by, it’s an auto-no. It compromises my integrity—If an opportunity would potentially put me in a position to jeopardize my character, I say no. No matter the reason, if I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, even if it’s to help someone out, I won’t do it. Integrity is like a china dish—easy to break, tough to repair. I can’t be fully invested—When I get involved with something I always end up (at least) knee deep in it—and that’s how I like it. I can’t half commit—it’s just not me. I avoid being a part of something if I can’t give it 100 percent effort. It would keep others from an opportunity—I’ve been blessed with overflowing chances to be involved with great things and great people. Unfortunately, others are not as lucky at times. If I know someone else could take better advantage of the same opportunity as me, I always say, “No” in an effort to spread the wealth of opportunities. Once again, this is by no means a list that contains all of the instances when I say, “No.” As you’ll notice, this list is a bit shorter than the yes list—and for good reason. Saying yes is almost always a better idea (unless it’s on your no list). ...

Believe it or not, I struggle with telling people “No.” When important people (or even complete strangers at times) in my life ask something of me, I rarely tell them I can’t do it. Let’s clear some things up before we proceed—the things I’m asked are hardly ever peer pressure situations that would result in a bad outcome—I’ve been able to surround myself with people who don’t do that (and here’s how I did that). ...

At some point in your life, you will probably be part of a team—a sports team, a work team, a school project. Somewhere along the lines, you’re going to have to work with other people (scary, I know) and achieve something. I’ve worked in plenty of teams, some vastly more exciting to be a part of than others. Along the way, I’ve learned what makes a great contributor. Here are my 11 tips to turn into the Scottie Pippen of your team. ...

Have you ever known someone who was so out there, so different, so distinctly contradictory to the norm that you wanted to know what was at their core—what they believed and why the acted the way they did? Have you ever been that person? Have you ever acted in a way so unselfishly, with such a servant’s heart that people said, “Why are you doing this?” What if we all acted that way? What if for one day we put ourselves at the bottom of the totem pole? What if we acted in a love so unbelievable people noticed we were focused on something outside of ourselves? What if we acted as if deep down in our hearts, at our innermost point, there was something so unshakeable that we could act radically different because of our faith in that? ...

Over the past few days, the idea of embracing failure has been pounded into my head like a loose nail into a 2 by 4. That was kind of graphic. I apologize, but really, it’s an important idea to drive home. I’m taking an entrepreneurship class and the professor told us that falling short in a startup business is by no means a failure. He said as long as you learn from your experience there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Why isn’t that our approach to everything? ...

Going with the flow is easy. It’s easy to sit back and watch things play out when we don’t want to get involved. It’s easy to keep things in equilibrium and refuse to stir the waters. It’s easy to let bad things happen if a precedent has been set.  This past week I had a chance to hear a talk from Colonel John Venable, a former officer in the United States Air Force. John shared stories of his experience in the military, and he specifically highlighted a few stories about his challenges when stepping in to new positions. ...

Being the first week of school for some, and only a few weeks in for a few others, I couldn’t think of a better time to give my insight on making a great first impression. Once again, totally my opinion, totally based on no solid research, and totally under no guarantee (but if I had some way to give you a mulligan if these tips didn’t work, the do-over would be all yours). Without further ado, 11 tips to woo new friends on the first try (or potentially to make things right in the second meeting if you already botched the first). ...