I couldn’t simply write a post on saying yes without following up with a saying-no post—I’d never want you to think that I’m a Yes! Man without that important, two-letter word in my vernacular.

At any rate, I struggle with no at times, but for good reasons (as you saw yesterday); however, I do work up the courage to utter the tiny word when:

  • Other things I’m doing would suffer—As busy as I am, I honestly don’t feel any of my obligations detract from each other.  I have conflicts that force me to choose one thing over another at times, but that rarely occurs; however, if I know that saying yes to something will stretch me out to the point of hurting something else I’m a part of, I most certainly say, “No.”
  • It conflicts with my long-term goals—It’s so easy to get wrapped up in things when they seem like a good opportunity in the short run, but in the long run they end up poorly. I always make sure I look at things through a telescope—making sure my decision will coincide with my goals in the future.
  • It mixes unpleasantly my values—If I’m presented with something that questions my values, I say no—flat out.  At times, I make mistakes, no doubt about it, but when I realize up front that something conflicts with the guidelines I live my life by, it’s an auto-no.
  • It compromises my integrity—If an opportunity would potentially put me in a position to jeopardize my character, I say no.  No matter the reason, if I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, even if it’s to help someone out, I won’t do it.  Integrity is like a china dish—easy to break, tough to repair.
  • I can’t be fully invested—When I get involved with something I always end up (at least) knee deep in it—and that’s how I like it.  I can’t half commit—it’s just not me.  I avoid being a part of something if I can’t give it 100 percent effort.
  • It would keep others from an opportunity—I’ve been blessed with overflowing chances to be involved with great things and great people.  Unfortunately, others are not as lucky at times.  If I know someone else could take better advantage of the same opportunity as me, I always say, “No” in an effort to spread the wealth of opportunities.

Once again, this is by no means a list that contains all of the instances when I say, “No.”  As you’ll notice, this list is a bit shorter than the yes list—and for good reason.  Saying yes is almost always a better idea (unless it’s on your no list).