Valentine’s day is fast approaching. That means a whole bunch of guys are going to propose the same day as every other guy on the planet. Please, please don’t do that. Any day but February 14th.

Nevertheless, dudes are notoriously not creative when it comes to popping the question. I can’t say I have a lot of experience in proposing since it’s a one-time thing for me, but our experience was pretty spectacular.

Here’s  my version of our engagement to show I’m qualified to give you insight: it started with a scavenger hunt in Athens, OH and ended 30 hours later on a beach in Fort Myers, FL.

If you want the full details from Niki, here’s her perspective.

People we didn’t know heard about the story somehow and we would randomly overhear them talking telling their friends about it in coffee shops and college hallways.

I didn’t imagine it would be that remarkable, but nonetheless, she said “Yes!” That’s the end goal, right?

So, gentleman, feel free to take notes, and ladies, please feel free to pass this along to your man if he needs some tips if the P-Day is drawing near.

1. Avoid holidays. Niki thought we’d get engaged around Christmas. We didn’t. I had strong convictions about doing it when we wouldn’t have to share the stage with anyone else. Mid-January pretty much ensured that. Please, not Valentine’s day.
2. Do things your lady loves. Our engagement included roses, a scavenger hunt, a manicure for Niki (because you know a bling picture is imminent), Chipotle, a flight to Florida, a proposal on the beach and a delicious dinner afterwards. I spent a good chunk of money, but you don’t have to. Think about what your lady loves doing or gifts she really appreciates.
3. Make a plan and think it through. You have prepare for the unexpected. Walk through what you’re going to do in your mind, and look for any hitches in the plan. Be sure to leave plenty of time for whatever elements your proposal will include.
4. Don’t tell anyone the entire plan. I told small snippets of my plan to only people who were active in the actual process of the engagement (or people far away who would have no chance of interacting with Niki before it happened). People don’t mean to ruin things, but people ruin things. Trust no one in this process. The fewer people you tell, the more likely the surprise will actually occur.
5. Get creative. I wrote Niki a song. I’m a decent writer, but I have an awful voice. She loved it anyway. My mom made t-shirts for us. Not your typical engagement. This is the hardest part, I know. But think about what you’re good at and what she loves and try to find the intersection of the two. Which leads us to…
6. Incorporate your talents. I’m a strategist and a writer. I concocted a 12-step proposal plan which included the talents of a handful of other people (who again, only knew pieces of what was happening). I wrote the clues (which rhymed, for the most part) and a song. That was fun for me. Your woman (hopefully) loves you for who you are, so the more of your uniqueness you put on display in the process, the better.
7. Get all sentimental. Talk about things you love about your wife-to-be, remember some of your favorite times together, assemble some of your best pictures together. Get sappy.
8. Take pictures. It’s getting more popular to have people photograph the engagement, but that can get dicey (see #4). I think it’s great if you can make it happen and you trust the photographer, but we just had some random lady who walked by on the beach take pictures of us, and they came out great (fo’ free!)
9. Enjoy your moment. Take the time to celebrate together before you start calling everyone you know, posting pictures on Facebook or heading to the proposal after party you set up. This is the only time when just the two of you will know you’re engaged, and that’s a fabulous thing in an always connected world.
10. Don’t ask if you don’t already know she’ll say “Yes!” A girl saying no to your mind-blowing proposal is a nightmare I can’t even begin to fathom. If you haven’t ever talked about marriage, if you’ve only been dating for one week, or if she said she wants remain single for the rest of her life at any point during your “relationship”, rethink this whole proposal thing.

Bonus points: If possible, get her ring size before you get the rock (without outright asking her). You could try to get a ring she wears on one of her other fingers sized  for comparison too. Niki conveniently “forgot” a ring she wore on her  right-hand ring finger at my house one day, so I had that sized and “found” it after I had it sized.

The whole picking the perfect piece of jewelry is an entirely different discussion, but if all else fails, err on the side of a larger ring size (but not necessarily a larger diamond). That way she’s not wearing it just below her fingernail because you grossly underestimated the size of her fourth digit. And please, please don’t take out a loan for the rock. It’s no fun for either of you when she’s paying for her own bling once you get hitched.

Question: Married and engaged people, what other tips would you pass along to our soon-to-be-single-no-more friends?