Blog

Sometimes, when I look at other people’s lives, I think, “Wow, they must have a lot of certainty, and thus peace, because their situation seems so stable.” But this week, one of the most “predictable” situations I’ve known just unraveled. No big explosion. No betrayal. Just a slow destabilization. Circumstances shifted. People changed. And now others around them will feel the ripple effects. Two other friends had major changes this week, too—reminders that our lives are far more uncertain than they appear. ...

Today marks 14 years of marriage to the most wonderful woman I know full of challenges and joys, sleepless nights and lots of chaos. Here are seven things that have helped us thrive and continue to grow through the ups and downs. 7 Marriage Lessons Pray together. There are studies that say couples who pray together stay together. To me, the main idea is that people who are committed to Jesus are more likely to be committed to their marriage. Commitment seems to be a transitive property that bleeds into other areas of your life. Real faith really matters in all of your relationships. ...

Monopoly Deal is a good game, even though the original Monopoly violates multiple articles of the Geneva Convention. Newtonian physics worked pretty well for a few hundred years, even though Einstein showed that Newton didn’t get everything quite right (I’m guessing plenty of physicists will say that’s an understatement, but I’m not a physicist). The first iPhone didn’t have a camera and the newest version takes pictures we could only dream of from a camera that fits in your pocket (!) just a few decades ago. ...

Almost a decade ago, I wrote a morning manifesto. I don’t reference it daily, but I’ve made only minor edits since—mostly adding kids’ names as we’ve deepened our commitment to the cultural mandate. What I wrote then still reflects who I want to become. Lately, though, I’ve added a new habit: writing short, daily affirmations based on who I want to be today. Often, those affirmations emerge from who I wasn’t yesterday. ...

My perspective on (nearly) a year of IF Last June, I stepped on the scale and did a double take. The number doesn’t matter—but the wake-up call did. If I didn’t change my eating habits, I was barreling toward a future looking less like a healthy, functioning human and more like Jabba the Hut. Weight management was the impetus for exploring Intermittent Fasting (IF), but the more I dug in, the more I was compelled that it wasn’t just a way to lose weight, it was actually a different way to live to help support the way God designed our bodies. ...

Why Most Problems Aren’t What They Seem—and What to Do About It I often want to get out the door faster than five little pairs of legs can move. I used to think that what kept us from leaving was my kids’ ability to move quickly. We’ll call that the apparent constraint. Many situations are controlled not by the apparent constraint but the actual constraint. The thing that looks like it’s holding us back—the apparent constraint—is rarely the real problem. It’s usually a deeper issue—the actual constraint—bringing it to the surface. ...

You know that thing you think will satisfy you? Maybe it’s something expensive but out of your reach. A new car or phone or computer. A promotion at work. A spouse. A home. A child. None of those are bad things. Many of them are worth pursuing and planning for. But none of them are going to fill that hole in your heart. A friend recently got a new phone, and I asked, “Did it make your life better in all the ways you hoped it would?” He laughed and told me no, and I said, tongue-in-cheek, “But you had to try, right?” ...

Stop praying for people. And start praying with them. What I’m suggesting might just change your relationship with everyone around you. Two and a half years ago, some friends from Finland introduced me to a new way of interacting with people through prayer. They encouraged me to not just pray for other people who share the same faith, but to start praying with people—even people who don’t pray, don’t share my same faith, or aren’t spiritual at all. ...

A young guy recently asked me, “What advice would you give someone trying to quit smoking?” I thought for a moment and said, “You have to invite people in. You’ve got to tell someone you trust, ‘Hey, I want to quit smoking, and I want you to regularly ask me how it is going. I want you to hold me accountable and help me quit. You’ve got my permission to ask, and I’d like to ask for your permission to call when I’m tempted and need to talk with a friend.’” ...

There’s a famous quote from Steve Jobs that I think about often: What a computer is to me is the most remarkable tool that we’ve ever come up with, and it’s the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds. — STEVE JOBS Whatever your mind could do before computers, it can go further and faster with less effort now. The analogy is even stronger because just as you have to learn how to ride the bike to actually use it, you need to know what you’re doing with a computer to move faster. But once you do, you can cruise a lot faster than your two feet can carry you. ...